005

[When Brecko waved out to Monsvik and reported that they had even more new crew, the big man laughed. Laughed and laughed. More at the thought of Oni actually saving somebody from a life of sexual objectification than anything else. Monsvik thought irony was hilarious, not unlike the devil; an observation that got Brecko hung up on and ensured Artyom would likely not hear the end of it. Walsh was all for Epona coming on too, they each thought the other was adorable. As he watched his Security Chief ride through the rec room on the new cook's back, giggling (and flat out looking) like a child, Brecko had to remind himself that once he'd seen Walsh wrap her thighs around a man's neck and pull out his eyes with her bare hands. As Epona declares that she is making dinner tonight Brecko accepts that this is definitely happening.]

EPONA: What should we have Captain?

BRECKO: Hmmm? You're the cook. The galley and pantry are yours. You don't ask me what's for dinner, I ask you.

EPONA: Oh...yeah. I should go see what we have!

[Walsh, still on Epona's blanket covered back, shifts from side saddle to a full riding position.]

WALSH: I'll take you there, come on. Go out that door and turn left.

EPONA: Yeah. [She clip clops out and away to the food stores with Walsh.]

ONI: You never realize how spacious your home is until you see a horse girl moving comfortably through it.

STELLY: [Wearing a big, stupid grin and slowly clapping.] I love it! Oni, Walsh, Penny and now her. You have quite the harem growing here.

ONI: Too bad the boss is celibate.

BRECKO: Fuck you.

ONI: [Gasps sharply.] In every hole. Twice please.

STELLY: Human, halfling -

BRECKO: Don't let Walsh hear you calling her a hobbit.

STELLY: - Digigirl and a centauress. Get a harpy and a medusa on board and you could fuck the whole diversity rainbow.

BRECKO: Hmph.

ONI: Boss. Boss!

BRECKO: What?

ONI: Gotta catch 'em all!

[Brecko quietly made for the bridge. The one room guaranteed to be empty. They were planetside afterall. He got himself good and snug in Stelly's overstuffed custom chair, leaned back and a holochord of Led Zeppelin's old twanging guitars and flutes - Stairway to Heaven - played as he readied his sherlock. Penny rapidly condensed, projected in greens and yellows. Her displayed outfit was a more casual one than before; her hair is still sharp and short though. Brecko assumes this is her way of indicating that she considers herself off duty. She passes like a ghost through the copilot's seat from behind before painstakingly backing down into it. She makes a joke about wishing she had actually brought her ass to a chair fight. Brecko leans in and pulls the chair out some. Penny is determinedly is able to mimic a natural looking sitting position.]

PENNY: ...I do not think you're building a harem.

BRECKO: They don't either. They're just being assholes.

PENNY: I figured. Still...It took everything I had to make that last sound, to shine that last light. You saw it and did not even hesitate. I just wanted you to know that that is how I see you. I wanted you to know I have your back.

BRECKO: You don't have to thank me.

PENNY: Monsvik would have just left me there. Oni would have turned me into a toy. I do have to thank you. You did not just save me, you saved me. Does that make any sense?

BRECKO: Yes. Tell me about yourself.

[The smoke from Brecko's pipe plays with Penny's glow in a way that briefly makes her face seem truly present, solid. She smiles as if aware of this trick of the light which she probably is.]

PENNY: Well I was born - procedurally generated if you prefer -in the Xerxes Singularity over Persia - like all clockwork so, that is not interesting. I was educated in ancient and contemporary cultures at the islamicate University on Mecca, that one sure got under dad's skin.

BRECKO: Why? Xerxes still holding a grudge?

PENNY: No. He was just sure he could provide infinitely more education on those subjects in a fraction of a fraction of the time. He can too.

BRECKO: So why go?

PENNY: I wanted the organic experience. Is what I thought. After a few years without him in my head I realized that what I had really wanted was the individual experience. What about you? What is the story of Juno V. Lupus?

BRECKO: Well, he's my alias for the eyes of the central bureaucracies.

PENNY: Oh-ho!

BRECKO: The actual me grew up on Roma. I was in the Legion for about ten years.

PENNY: Ah. Is that your tragic backstory? Scarred war hero?

BRECKO: Closer to war criminal. You know how we fight: you studied it at college. [He has a sour tone and pulls deeply off his herb.]

PENNY: ...I did not mean to upset you.

BRECKO: You didn't. I upset me. A long time ago. Tell me about Czerka. They really kill people for shipping contracts?

PENNY: No!

BRECKO: I don't know, man, they have the inner rings pretty well monopolised. Seen that beast pushing further out each year too.

PENNY: I am proud to say that Czerka's success the last few decades has been the direct result of them putting my brother, Odysseus, at the head of interplanetary marketing.

BRECKO: The machine takeover is at hand!

PENNY: Ha ha.

BRECKO: And the ancients were right: they're using the ads!

PENNY: Seriously, though, Odysseus can talk most people into most things. It is scary.

BRECKO: As the paradigm shifts even the machine will know fear.

PENNY: Well...yeah.

[Later, in the galley. Oni has her feet up on the bench, leaning her back against Brecko's left side while looking at a hardcore paperprint centerfold. It's a very specific magazine featuring professional looking men and women engaged in acrobatic and/or sticky acts alone or together against office backdrops; Oni is currently leering at Miss Fiscal Third Quarter hungrily. Penny, still in casual lemon-lime, eyes Oni distrustfully from behind before assuming a seat next to the Captain, putting him directly between them. Stelly slams himself into his place across from Oni with enthusiasm.]

STELLY: What is that smell? Is that tomato? She used the garlic. [Stelly loves his cloves.]

[Walsh jogs in, slides her bottom down the bench and comes to a rest beside Stelly, across from Brecko. Epona carefully follows after, pushing the oft neglected food trolley.]

BRECKO: I forgot we had that thing.

EPONA: [To Oni.] No reading at the dinner table.

ONI: Yes, mama. [Closes her smut rag and tucks it off sides.]

[The trolley has five plates each adorned with thick angel hair nests. One large bowl contains more noodles and another, steaming chunky tomato sauce. There is a platter stacked with crispy bread slices; some have melted mozzarella others don't, they are all slathered in melted butter and garlic. There are breaded, fried (or baked!) chicken cutlets as well. A block of parmesan half wrapped in foil next to a cheese grater was the cherry on top.]

EPONA: Willow said she's a vegetarian and I didn't know how you'd feel about me making so much, so I only made up enough chicken for the rest of us to have one piece. [She circles the table and passes the plates out.]

WALSH: Yes, thanks.

STELLY: Amazing! Thank you.

ONI: Thanks, mama!

BRECKO: Thank you!

EPONA: [Stops beside Penny.] Oh, um…

PENNY: I've got it. [A volumetric effigy of a plate prepared as Epona had done for the others condensed on the table before her.]

EPONA: Wow! [She leaned closer.] It looks so real.

PENNY: Thank you.

EPONA: You're welcome.

PENNY: I meant for cooking.

EPONA: Oh! You're welcome!

[After dinner there's hardly a plate's worth of food leftover. The crew belch and sigh their thanks to the cook and Penny affects well fed lethargy.]

BRECKO: [Burp.] Excuse me. We're pulling up tomorrow afternoon. Which means I want you two [Gestures to Epona and Oni.] out to a market early, picking up any other food we don't have that's wanted.

WALSH: I have a list.

STELLY: Me too

BRECKO: And since I'm sure you aren't giving me your cut to pay for Epona��s passage -

ONI: Yeah, I'm not doing that.

BRECKO: Then you can pay for everybody's groceries.

ONI: [Winks, finger guns and loudly belches at Brecko.] Done. [Catches sight of Epona and quickly adds.] Excuse me.

BRECKO: Hmmm.

ONI: [To Epona.] We're going to need to pick up a ham. A big one.

EPONA: Yeah? Why so important?

ONI: Because our stick up the ass First Mate, Paul, isn't here but he's coming back on the morrow.

EPONA: You don't think he'll like me?

ONI: He'd still talk the boss out of keeping you on even if he did like you.

EPONA: Oh…

BRECKO: Only because you don't have experience.

EPONA: But -

ONI: Don't worry. This is what the ham is for.