Patient's curse and within
Rose blinked her eyes open after waking up from a constant horrid dream of blazing fire scattered in the place where two people screamed for help. They were shadows in Rose’s eyes, their appearance was blurred she could not see their faces properly but they looked at Rose straight in the eyes. It was then the alarm clock was to make a noise. She went about her day to work.
The white tile floor reflected the flickering of lights above Rose O’Quinn’s head as the sound of her heels echoed in the empty corridor. Her white jacket flutters every step she took, her feet came to halt before the glass door and entered her office. Piles of documents filled her desk but each paper serves a story behind her patient’s mental state and only Rose could unravel the truth behind.
Was it curiosity that leads her to such an extent? or is there something to gain from involving herself to them?
Great job! The author had an amazing way to describe the horror and thrill for the readers to enjoy. However I can't say much about the developments of the plots because there are only few chapters, so Good work Author, keep updating
I'm admiring the story and plot... The characters are comprehensive for the story. This story just makes me wanna wriggle and feel tingly within.
I really love how you dive right into the action. Your writing style is very action-based, there are a lot of vivid and powerful verbs and sensory image that you use that really keep the momentum going and the atmosphere intact. I really like how thoughts are italicized. However, the book is hard to read because you don't insert line breaks during dialogue and during key moments, which breaks the flow a little. Having very short paragraphs with a few words is a very effective way to keep tension. Try this: The flash of scattering heat filled the place and tormented the flesh of two people agonizing in pain, screaming and desperately crawling to get out. Beep beep beep beep. The annoying sound of the alarm clock buzzed to her ears which made her jump and gasp for air. Also, whenever a character says something, insert a line break/make a new paragraph. Other than that, spectacular work!
One of my favorite genres is terror, that's one of the reasons I liked your story. Although it's very few chapters, your story seems to be on the right track. I think the way you tell it all is very good, it makes you want more and more. Congratulations, keep it up!
glen, i''m in awe of your work. After reading 'surrender to grief' i wanted to explore your literary gift, horror and thrillers are someething ive always been interested in, the action, the writing style everything is amazing.!
I enjoy your style of writing. I can tell you're passionate with your words and the stories you develop. I commend your ability to tackle horror and suspense. It is challenging. You develop characters and detail almost automatically. Good work.
Hi there! Here's your review. Just a heads-up though - I'm more accustomed to doing really really long critiques, so this one might be a bit janky. Now, I'm not exactly qualified to critique horror/thriller because it really isn't my cup of tea, but I'll try my best to critique what I am familiar with: Namely, your characters. I'll be honest here - I quite like Rose. Her interactions with other characters and her little internal thoughts are oddly endearing and realistic. She does have some slip-ups, but they're not too bad to the extent that my suspension of disbelief is broken. Overall, she is quite a fascinating main character and she's grown on me a lot over the few chapters I've read thus far. The vibe you have going for your setting is i m m a c u l a t e. The way they're written kinda gives me the whole 'flickering lights in an empty hallway' sorta vibe, and it absolutely suits this story. It's also not like the few other horror stories I've read thus far. You don't really overdo it on the gore and I'm grateful that you haven't used it for the cheap shock factor, which is nice. To summarise - Rose is an excellent character, and the setting descriptions hit all the right spots. The lady in the elevator too. Chapter Two in particularly was actually pretty scary. You really do get a feel of what young Mr Anderson was going through. Everything just radiates feelings of kenopsia - it feels hollow and empty, and depending on what you were going for that turned out really really well. Definitely suits the thriller vibe. soooo yeah here's my review. hope i helped out!
Reveal Spoiler
Damn this mystery thriller novel is so gooood. I'm really loving it. I would suggest you to increase your update stability. This book's writing quality and story development is really something!
Hi!! author here~~ just want to say thank you for reading this book and adding them to your libaraies and reading lists, I truly appreciate it since it gives me motivation to continue this story, I hooe to see you all vote for my book and give me your honest opinions to improve my writings, thank you all !! :))
I really like this type of books. It instantly hooked me and made me read without making me bored. It has great potential so keep updating!!
I loved the first chapter. The suspense builds up really nicely. There is a very creepy tone and mood and I love that. A few grammatical errors here and there but there's always a place for improvement. Keep it up, author!
The first chapter built up the suspense really well! I was creeped out and also intrigued by Rose’s job as a psychiatrist! There some grammatical errors that did break up the flow, but this story has a lot a potential! Kepnup the good work author 🙂
Good job author! I am not used to this kind of genre for sure and I read your novel at night, so, yeah I was shivering and the suspense was so intriguing. The pace of the plot is very good and the character design is very well done. Keep on the hard work author! Can't wait for more releases.
The mood is set very well and the creepy tone of the narrative gives you goosebumps alongside the characters. Although it is obvious the writer isn't a native English speaker as the descriptions sometimes fall short and the grammar is a bit odd, it doesn't disrupt the flow of the story. It's very straightforward and easy to follow along this disturbing and twisted journey. Keep at it! Grammar isn't enough to take away from a truly haunting tale.