Chapter 41 - Convenient set-up

Eventually, Raphael and I travelled to a tailor. It was to match Raphael's suit with the blueprints of the dress the royal seamstress' were making. Apparently, despite being engaged, we had to get our clothes ready and matched separately.

"You could've done this on your own", I commented as Raphael finished discussing the final touches with the tailor.

"I don't mind that you are enjoying yourself here; rather, I endorse it, but I think we should spend some time together before you leave" I wasn't sure when Raphael became so sentimental, but it always made me feel guilty.

I had no trouble acting like a kid to avoid attention or even thoroughly enjoying myself with Victor's and Edmunds's childish antics growing up, but staying by Raphael and chatting with someone who wasn't about to poke me and yell tag was something I greatly appreciated.

"I'm sorry" I felt guilty about having just used his kindness so selfishly. It didn't matter how much older I was; I still acted like a kid.

"I know how hard it is for you and that somehow you've been forced to grow up too soon. In that way, you remind me of myself. But I truly enjoy spending time with you even if it's to display a farce" he sat down in the waiting area with me. The emphasis on the word 'farce' made me frown.

"Don't call it a farce. We may have been forced into this arrangement, but I'm glad it was with you" I hated myself for saying those words because I knew full I was taking advantage of him.

"What else can it be called?" He took a sip of his tea, eyes darkening for a moment, "You don't plan on proceeding with our marriage, do you?" It was less of a question.

"I won't force it on you" I looked at those obsidian eyes for a moment before I couldn't stand the intensity and glanced at his locks that brushed his shoulder.

"You wouldn't" I looked up at him with surprise.

His eyes stared resolutely at me. As if he held no doubts about continuing this relationship. I could somehow see it too. In some ways, Raphael and I were so similar it was uncanny. Both of us were rejected by family and were unlike the villains we ought to have been.

But I couldn't answer him.

There was fear on my part. Fear that I could not be true to who I was. Anxiety that may spiral me into who Mallory is.

"We should get back to the estate before father arrives and thinks we've run away together", I joked, and he stood up, holding an arm out to me, which I took while my cheeks pinked.

It wasn't very comfortable being treated like a lady. It was easier being lugged around like luggage.

Somehow, things had become so much more complicated as I grew up. It was expected, but I hope things would sail more smoothly. The male leads were as complex as always, but things were different.

Duke Camellia married last year to his fiancé Cara, and they were undeniably in love. I was appointed as a bridesmaid, thankfully, although the duke tried to make me the flower girl. He somehow still saw me as a two-year-old, it seemed.

Ruby was still stalking me to his best ability. He kept talking about Luka and his splendidness recently. It wasn't charming.

Edmund was more of a complicated case. He had become closed off from me, which I assumed was an attempt to blend in with his peers and began attending a swordsmanship school. I saw him considerably less, and he spoke to me even rarely.

Lance had continued to visit and has grown so astoundingly beautiful I can't bear the shame of sitting next to him. I still recall the time he was approached as the princess Mallory even though I sat right next to him. But he was happy, and we had a healthy relationship even though Victor scolded him often and even Edmund treated him coldly. But seeing him was always a happy occasion.

Jirael had been the strangest of all. He seemed to hold himself responsible for my engagement and deeply resented himself, even though I told him it was fine. We're still considered friends, so I guess everything should be fine.

I wondered if Mallory could be a friend instead of a foe. Maybe I could help the heroine end up with Jirael sooner. But I wanted to prevent the others from falling for her. If only to avoid the heartbreak of rejection.

It's probably impossible, though…

Eliana Ainsworth was an illegitimate child of the count, originally abandoned by her runaway maid of mother who soon died. He searched for her and adopted her the moment he found her. Broken and remade by the hell of war. A strong advocate for justice. The heroine of the tale. With beautiful pale locks and pink eyes that bewitched all.

Rumours had already spread about her, and our first meeting would soon commence.

Originally Mallory spills wine on her dress "accidentally" and humiliates her in front of everyone. Then duke Camellia helps her out during their first meeting.

But the duke is married, so that won't happen, and if I steer clear of both her and wine, I can avoid that from happening…

"You look worried" Raphael's voice brought me to the present, but as I met his eyes, that familiar coldness greeted me. The marble-like eyes stared at me coldly. He's switched.

"I don't think things will be calm for a while", I muttered.

"They never are" he helped me up in the carriage, and we made our way back to the estate. "If someone is bothering you, I can gladly dispose of them," he said in a seriousness I did not doubt.

"Even if it meant you would live in a dungeon cell for the rest of your life?" I asked jokingly, hoping the cold alter would crack a smile, except he didn't.

"I'm used to being locked, so it would be nice to have a reason to be for once", he replied with a coldness that lowered the temperature of the carriage.

"Is it scary?" I asked insensitively but out of genuine curiosity.

"Not at all", and he finally smiled at me.

I was stunned to see it. It made me realise that Raphael was lovely inside and out, no matter how complicated he was.

"I'm sure Raphael enjoys having you guys around", I absentmindedly said.

"He enjoys having you around too. We all do," the alter, not exactly known for warm emotions, said.

"I enjoy being around him too, but let's be honest, it would be better for him if I weren't" I frowned, feeling anger at the people responsible for this situation.

The alter did not reply. He just stared at me until I lost my patience and asked.

"What is it?"

"Nothing", he shrugged, and my temper rose, "You and Raphael are so similar it's almost annoying".

I found myself agreeing without bothering to reply.

"I wonder if I can skip the ceremony", I groaned as we neared the estate, and like a scene out of my darkest nightmare, my brother, the crown prince, stood outside the castle. He wore a smile that could kill as his eyes might've as well been glaring at Raphael.

"Dear God, he could've explained what was happening before he switched" I heard Raphael gulp and laugh.

These alter were brilliant.

"I'll go on first" I patted his hand to say goodbye, and he grasped it gently.

"I don't know what you and dark talked about, but princess, I truly care about you, so if you have any troubles, please don't hesitate to consult me. I can always free my schedule for you".

Dark was the name of his scary alter. The expressive one was Simon.

"I know you will, Raphael" with a smile, I left the carriage and met my brother before he set the dogs loose on my fiancé.

Jirael's gaze eventually moved to me, and a harmless smile spread on those features. I returned it while waving my arms in the air ridiculously.

"You looked scary back there," I said to him, and he feigned a look of confusion.

"I don't understand what you mean?" He tilted his head, playing the fool.

"Of course, you don't" I rolled my eyes, "Why are you picking me up? I thought you were busy with the ceremony".

His face became miserable as he let out a loud sigh. I had to cough away my laugh.

"Why couldn't you stay young longer?" He pushed my forehead playfully as we got into the carriage.

"You can say that again," I groaned.

The coming of age ceremony was just a mark of adulthood. Girls had it at sixteen, as did most boys unless they were heirs. In which case it was twenty. Thinking about it, Edmund is turning twenty soon, so his coming age ceremony will be in a few months. I should pick something out for him….

"Hey, Jirael", I spoke up just after we boarded the royal carriage with its stupidly plush golden pillows that I could sleep on, "did you hear of Counts Ainsworth's adopted daughter?" I asked.

His face, passive as always, barely turned to me as he replied, but cat-like eyes rolled towards me.

"Do you wish to befriend her?" His voice was quite cold at the notion. He harboured hostility towards anyone who may threaten my legitimacy, even if they hadn't said anything. I found it cute.

"Not at all", I shook my head, "I wondered if you had any interest in her?"

His mouth gapped at my ridiculous question.

"Sister? Do you consider me a playboy?" He gawked.

I snorted.

"Of course not, but you have to admit she's interesting? I heard she's a genius as well" I couldn't help but look at Jirael just then.

He was finally the male lead he was meant to be. Silky black locks and cat-like golden eyes that could stun a person. He had grown considerably taller and his body was well proportioned. In short, he was a hit among women. But he rarely took an interest in people—a characteristic he originally had.

"Anyone can claim to be a genius. Father thought you were one, but you grew up to be normal" he didn't even hold back.

Oi…

"You don't have to lay it down so ruthlessly. And I'm plenty smart!" I retorted.

He gave me an unconvinced look.

Screw this! I want the old Jirael back!