Never Again

I  stayed in the position craddling my belly while crying. I used the back of my hand to try and fade off the tears.

But it was no use, the pasky little drops of water wouldn't stop their response to my unguish.

I finally calmed down but the aftermath left me exhausted. During my dilemma, the doctor came back with a pitiful look and informed about my release. All that had to be done was for a companion as well as me to sign my release papers.

It was a hospital policy for those who were in delicate situations and needed to be watched. I was in a delicate condition then. I felt a peng in my heart at the thought of what was brewing inside me. So I pushed the thought out of my mind and focused on my current predicament.

Since Dean was out of commission. I opt for Danny instead, the Doctor returned shortly after asking her to call Danny in.

After signing the papers, I nearly bolted from the room . Once out I encountered a hallway that wasn't familiar. It had two ends that both branched into no doubt other hallways except at the end of one was a set of silver elevators. That's where we're headed seeing as that was the only logical reason if we had to reach the ground floor.

With Danny trailing behind me looking stiff, I circled my arms around me as I reflected on  my stressful day. Was I  really going to rob it's life. But what could I honestly do to protect it.

Even though I knew what the right choice was deep down, I couldn't help but stay firm on my decision. One that I must keep to myself.

I didn't know if Dean would be pleased about terminating the baby but judging from his earlier reaction am not sure he wants it.

I let out a sigh once we reached the elevator doors and made no move to open it. I think Danny noticed my hesitance because he made a move fast and spoke to me.

Hey everything's going to be fine, yeah just hope for the best. Because it's in moments like this that you need it the most. Danny stated from besides me. I could feel his hot breathe tickling my neck. As if to emphasize his words, he leaned forward and pressed the elevator button. A moment later it opened with a ding.

Furthermore I was grateful that they were empty because I don't think I could have could stand being around that many people.

Danny was the first to enter the elevators, he stood there with a reassuring smile on his face. That was all I needed to enter the metal box.

Even though I was reluctant to enter, I did because it was  putting his words into action, a leap of faith was all I needed to have hope that maybe this child wasn't so bad.

Once inside I couldn't help but gaze at the conspicuous silver space. Buttons to every floor where aligned on the left side of the elevator.

A soothing tone was being played from the speakers above. It was a song by Lana del Rey. Dark paradise.

There's no remedy from memory your face is like a melody it won't leave my head, your soul is hunting me and telling me that that everything is fine but I wish I was dead.

How ironic that song related to my life so well. My left foot started topping on the metallic flow impatiently. why wasn't this elevator reaching the ground floor so quick I wanted to be out of this sh*** hole as fast as I could.

Sensing my impatience, he reached out and enclosed his large but warm Palm over mine. It did little to stop the feeling but I was grateful nonetheless.

His temporary stench had faded, as it was an effect to my pregnancy. Don't get me wrong it was still there but it had dulled a little.

He looked up at the ceiling and let out a small chuckle. "I never thought I would ever be in an elevator holding hands with you." Said he

" Yeah," I grinned " Me two." And just like that he had lightened up my mood. it  was so like him to point out something that he and I would never do. Even though he was Dean's friend, I  always knew that he was in love with me but never acted on it out of respect for his friend. so it kind of made me uncomfortable around him.

We are pulled back into our gravity of Silence when he broke  it with a small ham even though a song was playing.

I just shook my head and laughed at him. The elevator ride felt like it took all eternity but it was a mere 2 minutes to reach the ground floor.

Danny and I stepped out and headed to the familiar double doors. I stopped when I saw pink floral dress that belonged to someone and I knew all too well.

Dean's previous words just before I was overcome by a wave of nausea rang in my head on repeat like drums being  hit on repeat, a signal.

I had to find out why the entire chol family was at the hospital. What if Mr. Garang wasn't feeling well, he was like a father to me. I might not have the best relationship with my husband's other family but him, he was my mentor my idol the reason I lasted as I long as I did along with Dean's love. Until I lost that too but I won't loss him too.

I took long straids heading to the direction in which I had seen her, Danny's cries of protest fell onto deaf ears. Until he finally gave up and cursed under his breath.

The only indication that he was following was the sound of his shoes meeting marble as he followed me. He had to take longer strides in order to catch up with me.

Once he had caught up with me, he must have gotten the hint once he laid eyes on her too and didn't push you for answers. He just followed like a loyal puppy, the moment I had that thought and I mentally high-fived myself.

No sooner had I reached than she turned. She wasn't to pleased to see me. Had it been another time, she would have glared at me and made a snarky remark to express her undying hatred for me.  But what sent out the red flag was she didn't make googly eyes at Danny.

It was no secret that she loved him, I think that's what increased her hatred for me because it was also no secret that Danny loved me even though it was unrequainted on both sides. On my side towards him and on his side towards her.

The only expression that graced that gorgeous face of hers  even though I would never admit it outloud ,Was one of irritation. She looked drained, her once tall and proud structure, looked like it was at the verge of crumbling.

Her eyes held a lot of sorrow even though she did a great deal of hiding it. That was an expression I was used to seeing. It was a look I had every time I faced myself in the mirror and thought of how much I hated Dean how much he had taken from me.

So I could recognize it anywhere. My initial plan for when I reached there, was to was to rudely and at all means get the answers I needed. But as I looked at this petite woman, my demour crumbled and I felt pity for her at the depths of my heart.

She made a move to leave by maneuvering around me only to be caged by Danny's brood arms. I think that's all she needed to finally succumb to her misery because at that moment she leaned into him and cried out heart out.

Not wanting to be at the receiving end later on, I looked away knowing that she didn't want me to see her in such a vulnerable position.

Danny made sushuing sounds while caressing the back of her head and telling her that everything will be fine all she just had to do was let it out. She gripped his shirt tighter and uttered out, the Words that nearly sent me on a rampage.

My eyes widened, I was lost in a paradox . my own mind screaming the words on repeat no no it can't be.

She continued spewing out nonsense that I didn't quite believe it was impossible . Mr Garang couldn't be in a coma.

" The doctors say he might not wake at all. It's all up to him." She said. The moment soon ended when she turned and glanced at me. She pointed her finger, pushed out of Danny's grip and came closer.

In my State of shock I failed to see her hand being raised into the air and coming into contact with me cheeks.

My head snapped to the side, a stinging feeling was left on my check where her hand must have left an imprint.

I didn't have the energy in me to retaliate. I could understand and relate to the feeling she had, he may not be my father but he was a father figure.

In an instant Danny was on my side holding me and examining my face. He didn't look calm anymore as he turned and glared at Hanning.

She was stunned for a moment not seeing any traces of the man that had just comforted her no less than a minute ago.

She overcame it and matched his expression.

" Always her bitch, I see.' she said before spinning on her heels and walking towards the elevator with what looked liked prescribed drugs.

Danny was about to head after her when I held on to him and shook my head motioning for him to stay right here. I walked to the front desk where I was met with a nurse wearing white a pen in hand and what resembles a notebook in the other.

" Am here to see Mr. Garang." I addressed her.

Name she said without even glancing at me. Rude

Zion Machar. I hated that I used his name but that would hopefully let her allow me to see him.

The moment I told her my name she looked up surprised and said something into the mic that was on her desk.

" Am sorry but your not allowed to be to see him, please leave or be forced." She spoke well motioning behind her and two bulky men dressed in security uniform started approaching us.

Danny took a stance prepared to fight if necessary. I didn't want to cause commotion so I told him we should leave. Once out of the hospital , i vowed to put in effort in finding evidence that would convict Dean and then hopefully I will be able to leave my life as it was even if he wasn't a part of it.

As of now I have a child to worry about.