Never Trust An Uvaaaru

The console to my left started ringing; its dial tone sounded like someone mashing their fingers against the same key of a poorly tuned piano. How the hell do I turn this thing off?

I must have pressed every button around it before finding the right one, then a holographic image of Hilgarda appeared, sprouting out of the machine like a fabled genie from its lamp. 'Finally, I've been calling for ages! I wanted to see how your first launch went?'

I waved my arms in frustration. 'Take-off is still ongoing; we can't seem to shed enough mass to increase altitude. Can you see this?' I pulled one of the video screens out as far as it could go.

Hilgarda's jaw dropped. 'You haven't disengaged the portside cannons, and those things weigh a ton. Let me guess, every time you go to pile on the speed, your angle of ascent is off by about thirty-five degrees?'