CH4.1:Complex Feelings (PA)

Yuto arrived with just a little bit of time before the lesson for that day ended. He noticed Nagisa wearing his teaching glasses and tried his best not to get flustered. Even seeing his face with the metal framed spectacles made Yuto blush so easily.

Once the children left for their afternoon break, Yuto entered the room, holding their lunch. Nagisa smiled as he grabbed Yuto's wrist and locked the door. "You've been staring at me, haven't you?"He whispered and pulled off Yuto's bag, slinking it to the floor. He took the bundled cloth out of Yuto's hands as well.

Crimson covering his cheeks, he looked away from Nagisa who only laughed and grabbed Yuto's hands, pinning him against his desk. "So, you like my face don't you? How does it make you feel?". Yuto tried to struggle against Nagisa, who took hold of his chin and gazed at him in the eye. "You've forgotten that I used to swim professionally. You're not going anywhere,".

Loosening the grip on his wrists, Nagisa was in the mood to tease him. "Am I making you shy, baby?"He snickered and Yuto wanted to scold him for calling him that. But instead, he accidentally confessed in the spur of the moment.

"I-I'm don't understand anything about falling in love!"He blurted out, sounding a little angry. Nagisa was surprised but then he smiled at the boy. "What don't you understand? I'll explain everything to you,"He asked and cupped Yuto's cheek gently.

Waterworks have been turned on. "I've never been in love with anyone before. I don't know what it's like to love someone. But, every time I'm around you, my heart just beats out of my chest and I can't understand why!"He cried and Nagisa felt tears stream down his hand again.

He had more to say to cajole the crying boy but Yuto pushed him roughly. "Why does it happen around you, old dog?! I don't understand why!"He sobbed and cried in his hands. Nagisa smirked to himself, his true feelings shining through. 'There's no use in holding back. It's like this little bastard can read my mind; He's testing me.'

Everything happened so quickly. Yuto felt Nagisa's heavy body slamming into his small figure. Nagisa held the back of his head. Yuto moaned softly and clenched Nagisa's shoulders, nails digging into his shirt. They were connected, interlocked in a passionate kiss. Feeling the heat from such an intimate moment, Nagisa slipped his tongue into Yuto's mouth and deepened the kiss, both of them drowning in sweet ardor.

It was adorable to Nagisa because Yuto didn't know how to kiss or even kiss back. He just let himself get dominated and raptured in the feeling. Never even fighting or showing any signs of contempt. And it seemed that he was quite shy about it too.

Pulling away, Nagisa had a smirk on his face as he stared at Yuto, who was a panting mess. "I stole your first kiss. I'm your first love hm?" Nagisa teased him, brushing a knuckle down Yuto's face. This? He was fucking enamoured. He was in the mood for more and Yuto's flushed face made him even greedier.

"You talk too much, old dog..". Yuto just couldn't look Nagisa in the eye anymore. Especially while he was whispering things that were absolutely true to him. Wanting to tease him even more, Nagisa leaned in and licked Yuto's neck seductively. "The way you moan, you really know how to turn a man on,"He purred as Yuto moaned from the lick and felt the weight on his body disappear, the smirk still on the older man's face. "Don't worry Yuto, I'll help you understand what you're feeling better once we get home,".

Doom flooding Yuto's innocent head was inevitable. He ate lunch with Nagisa, acting like the kiss had never happened. Nagisa just chatted to him, asking about his housework and assignments while being affectionate like he usually was. All Yuto could think about was how he kissed him earlier and oh, he had no idea how to look him in the face anymore.

Downing his food quickly, he wanted to leave as soon as he was done but Nagisa grabbed his wrist. Tapping his lips playfully, he shifted his weight onto the desk. "You forgot something. You're not leaving until you remember what you're supposed to do. I've already given you a hint,"He chuckled and loosened his tie as he gazed at Yuto.

"You know, I don't want to force you. Do it if you want,". The boy's knees shook and his face was red but obediently, he leaned in and pecked Nagisa on the lips. "You're a good boy, Yuto. You're free to leave now,"He joked and petted him on the head. "Don't sleep too early tonight or you might get jumped in your sleep,".

The boy ran out of the classroom. He didn't want to return home just yet. He needed someone to listen to him. He needed answers and he didn't want them from Nagisa.

Sighing, he faced the sky. What choice did he have?

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Knocking on the door to Asahina's office, Yuto's face was still flushed. "Come in!"The man inside shouted. Yuto opened the door and Asahina and his assistant were surprised. "Kirishima-kun?? You never come here. What do you need? Is your project troubling you?"Shinobu asked and noticed that his face was beet red. Asahina smirked, intrigued. "Arara, what happened to you? You look even redder than a chili pepper,"He snickered.

Embarrassed, Yuto plopped himself down in a chair while he faced the floor. "Asahina-sensei and Hirai-sensei, could you please give me any advice about love between two men?". Asahina gave him a look of concern and shook his head. "You're using polite language?! Are you sure that you're not suffering from a high fever?".

That made Yuto sink into the chair even more. He still told them whatever that happened. Not just the kiss but everything that he felt, that Nagisa did for him and even the date. He wanted to know if he was feeling something right or if "Oh...So that man you live with took you on your first date and later stole your first kiss?"Shinobu reiterated as he took a sip of coffee and Yuto looked down to avoid eye contact but he nodded. "He said he's going to help me understand my feelings when he gets home tonight but I don't get it..."He whispered, trailing off.

Upon hearing that, Shinobu choked on his coffee. "Oh my god, you don't say that to such a lost and innocent kid!"Asahina howled and slammed his hand on his desk repeatedly. Shinobu coughed and shook his head before he could talk.

"Kirishima-kun, that man you live with is a perv-".

"He's always touching and hugging me. He said he wants me to sleep with him.."

That made Asahina laugh even harder. "Old perverts! Oh my, imagine saying that to someone with 0 relationship experience!". Yuto still didn't understand why both of his teachers were laughing so hard. "Did he say anything else?"Shinobu asked as he pet Asahina's back gently, to ease him from laughing.

Ashamedly, Yuto couldn't seem to understand why they were laughing. "He told me not to sleep too early tonight, or he'll jump me in my sleep.."Yuto groaned and Asahina gradually stopped laughing. He stared at Yuto, a twinkle in his eye.

"Have you ever had sex before?"He asked. The boy shrugged and the two men looked at him, concerned. "Well, it's never too late to know. You're going to be in it for the long run,"They concluded.

Much later in the evening, Yuto left the office feeling quite lost. They still gave him advice even though he didn't know what was so funny until they laughed like hyenas in their office.

'I still don't understand why I feel that way towards Nagi. I thought they would help...'

Once he opened the door to Nagisa's home, he already noticed that the man was waiting for him. Getting up from the sofa, he approached Yuto, a smug look on his face. "You're late".

Teasing him, he pulled Yuto's bag off his shoulders."As a punishment, you have to say 'tadaima' every time you arrive home. You never say it and I want you to feel more at home here,". Yuto blushed but he succumbed to Nagisa's warm smile. "T-Tadaima, Nagi,"He faltered, the phrase sounding foreign on his tongue. His bangs were pushed aside and he felt Nagisa give him a peck on the forehead. "Okaeri, Yuto,".

Smirking, he set Yuto's bag on the floor and proceeded to pet him on the head. "Where have you been? Don't tell me you didn't want to return home,". Yuto looked straight into Nagisa's eyes. "My teachers gave me some advice on love. They said you were an old pervert,". Nagisa grunted and saw his life flash before his eyes. 'What the-?! He was there?! Asking his teachers about everything I said to him? God, I'm dead meat!!'.

Submissive Yuto made his way to the bedroom slowly. "I already know what you want to do to me, so just go ahead old dog,". Nagisa followed Yuto into his room and saw him lay on the bed like a starfish. "They said that it can't be helped because you're a man.."Yuto trailed off and loosened his hoodie strings.

Unbelievable. Nagisa couldn't believe that the boy he had fallen in love with was so temptingly innocent. "No, Yuto. I don't think you're ready for that yet,"He whispered and suffocated him with a tight hug. "I won't do anything like that to you until you're ready,"He smiled and pecked his forehead. Yuto blushed, Nagisa's scent, his warmth engulfing him.

"I'm sorry I kissed you without your consent earlier. It's hard to restrain myself when I've held back for quite a while,". Yuto shrugged and hugged him back shyly. "I didn't say I hated the kiss, Nagi. It's my first kiss. Of course I'd be flustered,".

Holding Yuto close to him, Nagisa shook his head. "Well, it doesn't matter if you hated it or not. I kissed you without your permission. I'm sorry about my lack of self-restraint,". Yuto stroked Nagisa's head with his small hands, his cheeks burning. "Nagi, it's okay,". Nagisa buried his head in Yuto's neck, enjoying the warmth. "It's hard to hold back on my urges, especially since the time you started sleeping here,"He began and intertwined his fingers with the boy's.

"Nobody else ever sees the sides of you that I'm privileged enough to see. So it just got to my head. Long before I knew it, I had fallen in love with you,". Yuto was flustered but he wanted to continue being in Nagisa's arms. "I do love you Yuto. I love you more than I should, but I can't help it. I want to be romantically involved with you,".

A small hand stroked Nagisa's cheek. "I don't know what it's like to be in love, Nagi. But, I trust that you'll teach me,". Yuto hesitated for a bit but then he mustered the courage to plant a kiss on the man's cheek. "I love you too, Nagi. I trust you. You can do whatever you want to me,". He whispered and Nagisa turned to look him in the eye. "Yuto?"He mumbled and it was like there was an angel and a devil on either side of his shoulder.

"Come on, devour him greedily all night long! He's all yours now!"

"Shinji, he's still so innocent and young. You can't possibly do that to him now!"

Nagisa was conflicted. On one hand, he was glad that his feelings with Yuto were mutual. On the other hand, Yuto was inexperienced and he probably couldn't fathom such an idea yet. "Nagi?"Yuto whispered and gently pulled the man's glasses off his face before setting them on the bedside table with a clink.

"You don't have to torture yourself anymore.."He mumbled but he was hugged so tightly it was like the life was squeezed out of him. He could feel his bruises throbbing but he didn't really care at that point. "Yuto, I should wait until you're ready. I'm sorry for being such a terrible adult,"Nagisa apologised as he held the boy close to him.

Yuto didn't know how to comfort him but he just ruffled his hair softly. "Things you can't control just happen sometimes..,"He whispered and felt Nagi hold him as if he were to let go, Yuto would disappear. The boy had a quick flashback of how protectively Nagisa held him in his arms at the hospital after rescuing him twice.

'No, it's because if he had let go, he wouldn't have me to hold anymore'.

Propped on his lap, the boy faced his lover, their faces red. "Yuto, do you want to kiss?"He asked and was given a nod as his response. Nagisa's lips met Yuto's and this time, he felt him kiss back. Soon enough, he had pinned Yuto to his bed, making out with him passionately, the only lights turned on were the bedside lamps. "Atsui..."Yuto moaned, pulling away from the kiss as he looked at Nagisa, his eyes bleary and his lips numb.

"It's hot? Take your shirt off,"He smirked and Yuto's face grew even more flushed as he saw Nagisa pulling his own shirt off, revealing his toned body. To him, Nagisa was the embodiment of perfection. He looked good and was charismatic in every aspect. It was hard to not fall for him. Nagisa's hands pulled Yuto's shirt up gingerly before he made a low whistle.

There it was. Those painful bruises all over Yuto's body. Old scars and cuts accompanied them and Nagisa hugged him, resting his head against the boy's bare chest. He could hear his heart pounding . "Yuto, I'm sorry I couldn't defend you from your evil family that gave these to you. It's my own stupid fault that I chose to remain ignorant,"He apologised again and kissed his chest.

Yuto's face flushed red when Nagisa did that to him. He was a complete virgin to this entire "love" thing. But with Nagisa, everything felt so natural, it all just flowed so well like a rushing riverbed. Yuto mewled when Nagisa kissed his chest again and caressed it with his other hand.

"So you're completely new to this?"Nagisa chuckled and pecked him on the lips sweetly. "No one has ever kissed your soft lips before?". Yuto looked away and hid his face in his hands after his lips were kissed. "N-no..You're my first, Nagi". Nagisa smiled ear-to-ear, marvelled by his adorable behaviour. "I'm honoured to be your first, my Yuto." Nagisa finally got up and kissed Yuto once more before he noticed that something about Yuto's behaviour had changed.

"Eh, Yuto, doesn't it hurt whenever I try to hug you? Why have you stopped trembling?"He asked and a small innocent smile was shot at him. Yuto sat up and wrapped awkwardly his arms around his neck. "The pain feels like nothing to me because I know that whenever I'm with Nagi, I'm always going to be well protected,".

That night, Nagisa couldn't sleep. He couldn't believe that he just did what he did with Yuto. Of all people. He looked down at the boy who was asleep, snuggled up against his chest, his arms hugging Nagisa's body. 'Oh fuck, he's so unbearably cute, holding me gently as if I were his teddy bear'. Nagisa rubbed Yuto's head sweetly.

'I guess I was mistaken all along. I thought I could grow to love Kirishima Yuri on the day of my wedding but instead, I fell in love with her brother who was glaring at me from the sidelines'. He slipped his arm under Yuto's head and held him close before he huffed. 'When my mum told me that Yuri wasn't allowed to live with me unless I took Yuto in, I couldn't understand why. But discovering how awfully that family treated him, I understand her intentions behind forcing Yuto to live with me now'.

Nagisa switched on his smartphone and looked at Yuri's contact number. He looked down at Yuto who was still fast asleep and cuddling him. He gritted his teeth. 'It's over for good'. He blocked her number and deleted it and did the same to his ex-mother-in-law's number. He turned his phone off and put it aside before he cuddled Yuto to sleep. 'There's no one I could possibly love more than my Yuto'.

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The next day, Nagisa woke up early. Hitomi texted him while he was waiting for Yuto at home yesterday that she would be visiting to drop something off. "Aniki, where's Kirishima-kun?"She asked as she set the boxes of cakes down on the dining table. "He's asleep, Hitomi. Why, is it because you know that I suck at cooking?"Nagisa scoffed and boiled some water to make tea for her.

"Eh, no! I wanted to see how he was doing,"She chuckled nervously and sat down at the dining table. "He's doing much better than he used to be. I guess he's free now,"Nagisa smiled and adjusted his glasses. Hitomi gave her brother a 'look'. "Say Aniki, what's your relationship with Kirishima-kun? You two are an item, are you not?".

Panicked, Nagisa punched her arm lightly. "What the—-Hitomi! How could you—-"He shrieked and his sister winked at him. "Takaba-kun said he thought he heard you two kissing in the classroom,". Nagisa felt a rushing flood of dread smack him on the head. "I wouldn't say we're together yet..."He laughed nervously and served her the tea. Yuto woke up a little later and made his way to the kitchen from Nagisa's room. "Morning Nagi, Hitomi-san. What do you want to eat for breakfast?"He yawned before rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Hitomi smirked at her brother who didn't know how to justify himself. "Mm? Anything you make will always be delicious to me~!"He chirped as Yuto opened the fridge. "Got that,". Hitomi tied her long brown hair up in a ponytail. "Aniki, how can you say that when you call each other without honourifics so comfortably? Plus, he slept in your room didn't he?"She teased and Nagisa crumpled to the floor. He felt like Hitomi walloped his head with a mallet. She was spot-on as always.

"Nagi? Hitomi-san? Are you okay with having pancakes for breakfast?"Yuto asked and Nagisa sprang up at once. "Of course! Don't worry, Yuto, we'll do the dishes later,". Bored, Hitomi got up to look around the house. "It's practically spotless! I suppose that dear Kirishima-kun does a good job at cleaning the house,"She gasped and Nagisa nodded, feeling a little ashamed that she already knew to miss his name out since housework wasn't his forté. "He does it at least four times a week,".

Impressed was an understatement to how Hitomi felt. "School assignments, housework, keeping you fed and he took care of you when you used to get drunk all the time right? He'd make someone's perfect little wife,"She snickered and winked at Nagisa when she said the word "wife". Nagisa grinned sheepishly and noticed that Yuto had rolled up his sleeves even though his bruises were exposed. 'He's already comfortable enough around me that he doesn't feel the need to hide them..'.

Hitomi slumped back on the dining chair and grumbled. "Our mum's been giving us lip about how we rarely visit her,". Nagisa leaned back in his chair and groaned with her. "She already has the twins to meddle with. And why doesn't she nag at Nao?". Hitomi looked at him and then huffed in realisation.

"She probably wants us to babysit them for her. And Nao returns home 4 days a week you dingus,".

"True...What's funny is that she was the one who forced us out of our home after we graduated. Like 'Congratulations on graduating! Now get out of my house!' "Nagisa imitated and the pair of siblings burst out laughing. Yuto heard them laughing and sighed in disappointment.

Sometimes, he wished he was born into a normal family instead of being treated like the black sheep of his family but what could he do? It's not like he got to choose his circumstances. He was socially inept anyway. There was no way he and Yuri would ever laugh as heartily like Nagisa and Hitomi did. After all of the nasty things Yuri had done to him, how could he even dream of laughing next to her?

That thought made him quite upset but luckily, a special shaped cookie cutter distracted him from his everlasting sadness.

Warm pancakes were flipped and butter was spread on them. He served them and Nagisa grinned before he rubbed his head gently. "Thank you~ Come sit next to me,"He smiled and noticed that there was something strange about his pancakes.

You see, they were in a weird shape. Oh wait, they were in the shape of a heart? Hitomi wiggled her eyebrows at her brother. "I see that you're special, Aniki,"She snickered at her embarrassed brother. Even though his face was a brilliant shade of red, he didn't hesitate to whip out his phone and take a picture of his beautifully prepared breakfast.

Quiet and orderly, Yuto brought back a tray of butter, syrup and strawberry jam. "Nagi, do you want your usual coffee?" He asked and Nagisa tousled his hair. "Eat your breakfast before it gets cold. I can wait," The man said but the boy shook his head. "I won't take long. Tuck in first,"He told them and Hitomi chuckled.

"Aniki, you've already found a keeper. He cares more about you enjoying your meal than he does about himself. I honestly wouldn't have minded if you married him instead of his sister.."She scoffed and Nagisa was horrified. "B-But he was only 15 at the time! Children can't consent to things like that!"He gasped and slammed his hands on the table.

Swallowing her forkful of pancakes, Hitomi giggled. "I'm just joking. Still, I can see why you're able to survive with Kirishima-kun. He's great at cooking, he does all the chores and all you did was come home late smelling like booze,". Nagisa hid his face, ashamed with himself. "Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. It's true but it doesn't happen anymore..."

With a tray of hot coffee, cold juice and cold chocolate milk, Yuto returned to the table and served them their drinks. "Kirishima-kun, you know, our parents like you quite a lot,"Hitomi chuckled. "Thank you for the juice. Anyway, Aniki, you should bring Kirishima-kun over sometime. Think of it as an early meeting with our parents,"She snorted and Nagisa was stupefied with her words.

"Absolutely not!"He growled and Hitomi laughed even harder. "Aniki..Our mum's really worried about Kirishima-kun you know. She said he's been through a lot and that you should be nicer to him,"She drawled as she ate and Yuto just looked at Nagisa, confused while Nagisa looked to be dreading something. 'Why do I feel a big lecture coming the second I visit her?'.

Rewarding Yuto with a pat on the head, he shot a look at his sister. "Thank you for breakfast. Pay no attention to Hitomi, okay? She's always giddy in the morning,". Yuto swallowed his bite of the fluffy pancakes before he revealed something to Hitomi. "Nagi's been very nice to me though. He took me out on my first date a couple of days ago,". That made Hitomi grin at Nagisa. "Aniki, you'll have to tell me all about this first date you had,".

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Laying his head on the sofa, Yuto felt as if all of the weight in his body came crashing down. He was flat out exhausted. Still, he remembered that the scores for the mandatory Honour's Test he took a few weeks ago were finally out; They had notified him via email. Antsy, he checked for his results and called out to Nagisa in such a monotonous voice, it could rival a hospital monitor's flatline. "Nagi, I got an S grade for my test,".

A swarm of emotions hit Nagisa before he gasped. "What?! How can you sound so unenthusiastic?!". Hitomi chimed in. "Exactly! Don't you understand how hard it is to obtain an S grade in such a prestigious university like yours?!".

Actually, it came as no surprise to Nagisa. 'Come to think of it, Yuto's actually a genius with his studies. He's always been in the Honour's programs even in high school. I should remember, because at his graduation, the kids who graduated with Honours had a special certificate and I was the only one who came to see him'.

Drying his hands, he hugged Yuto and caressed him on the head affectionately. "We'll celebrate it! Oh Yuto, we'll celebrate your perfect score, my smart Yuto!"He smiled brightly and Yuto hugged him back, slowly warming up the idea of affection. Hitomi just watched them from the kitchen, laughing at her doting brother. "That man hasn't changed a single bit,".

_φ(･ω･ Author's Note

From that moment onwards, these two began dating! How do you think their relationship will progress from here? Let me know what your thoughts in the comments! Voting is also appreciated! Thank you for reading this chapter of A Heart To Heal! ♡