In The Face of Death

"You could have saved us a lot of trouble with your power," said Brigid. The accusation in her voice was unmistakable. Maitho nearly flinched, but then he had to remind himself that there was nothing for him to feel guilty about. At least, he wanted to believe that.

"It doesn't work the way you think it does," said Maitho. He didn't know why he was defending himself with determination. He even remembered using his power earlier during the day. But to truly explain himself, he will have to reveal the one weakness of his ability. Was he willing to do that? Or would Erik choose to make that revelation?

It didn't seem like the Norse pantheon's leader knew that little information. If he had, he would have said something. Perhaps he might be avoiding saying more so he could hold on to an advantage. It was difficult to say.

"Pitifully, you are not wise about your capabilities either, Mister Oruba," offered Erik in a passive tone.

It unnerved and frustrated Maitho to no end about the fact that others knew more about him than he did himself. He felt like a fish in a tank with observers on the outside studying him. When the time came, they would dissect him if necessary to understand what makes his parts function.

"Hou dae ye know all this?" Once again, Epona became the voice of reason and support. Maitho realized that he was not just becoming used to her presence, but her support as well.

But before an answer was give, Brigid stood up. "Is there anything else you would like for us to know?" She asked Erik.

The man didn't skip a beat to respond. "I do not relish small talk. You know the way out." He gave a nod in the direction of the Valkyrie.

When Maitho turned around. The warrior woman had stepped to the side. Her eyes focused in front of her, to the other side of the room where the row of pillars were. Yet she still looked poised for action, the ax still gripped tightly.

Brigid began walking towards the elevator. For a second, Maitho was too stunned to move. Bevan nudged him with a purse-lipped smile, enough to get him into action. Halfway down the great hall, he turned around to see Erik looking at him with intensity. The man gave him a quick wave of the hand as goodbye.

After exiting the elevator and passing through the security turnstiles, Maitho had barely taken a few steps before Brigid rounded on him. "You're going to have to make a decision," she said, her finger tapping his chest. "If you want to stick around, then you need to prove your worth. That starts with you talking everything about your powers." She kep her finger pressed against his chest. She was probably waiting for Maitho to say something, who simply chose to stay silent. "Now there's a good boy," said Brigid, smiling. "But don't remain silent when the time comes." She walked away while Maitho was left swallowing the bitter remains of a retort that was left unspoken.

As soon as she was out of earshot, he felt the presence of Epona next to him. "Whit the hell wis that?"

Maitho offered what he hoped was a look of understanding. He didn't want to show her that deep down, he felt like he was just trampled upon. "She must be under a lot of pressure."

"Na, no that," said Epona, her eyes lighting up with genuine alarm. Maitho was taken aback by the ferocity of her reaction. "Why arenae ye fightin back? Ye wad no have stood for her attitude yesterday."

The answer welled up from deep within him. It reached his mouth and wanted to explode outwards, like bile that couldn't be contained inside. He wanted to scream on top of his lungs and let everyone in the entire hall know what he was going through. "I don't know if it matters anymore, Epona," he said instead, his voice barely loud enough for even her to hear.

With that, some of the words he wanted to say found their way out into the open, forever breaking their silence. He felt weak about the way he sounded, but strong about speaking out. He felt like he had exhaled, even if it was briefly, after a long time of holding a breath.

In Epona's eyes, he noticed a recognition. It surprised him. And alarmed him. It was as though she was aware of the chaos inside him. What did she identify? What could she know?

She was about to say something, but looked over at the retreating form of Brigid. "We'll talk aboot this later." She walked a few feet ahead and looked back at Maitho. "Want me tae gae on ahead?"

He thought about her suggestion. Did he want a moment to walk all by himself, surrounded by the murky presence of his thoughts? Was he willing to keep the deep pit of muddy sadness company? He realized that he didn't even know if it was one specific emotion he was going through. He noticed the people passing him. Some entered the building while others left through the front doors. There were those who walked alone and those who had the company of others. Yet they were all in motion with a sense of purpose. When they didn't have purpose, they were occupied on the small screens in front of their faces.

Purpose.

It was a funny word to think about at that moment. Shouldn't Maitho's purpose be to live? Fight against his unfair fate to reclaim his life? He didn't know. It seemed like he was aimlessly heading towards the end.

He joined Epona, "No, I'm good." Together, they made their way out of the building.

Maitho wondered where Bevan was, but stopped his worries from taking flight when he spotted the Celtic Guardian leaning against Quinn.

"Where are we headed?" said Bevan. He automatically looked to Maitho for guidance, but frowned when he did not receive a response.

Maitho pursed his lip and apologized with his eyes before walking towards the rear of the car. He stopped short. Brigid had waited for Epona to enter the back seat before joining the other woman. Understanding the implication but not saying anything about it, he chose to sit in the passenger seat instead.

After Bevan was seated, Brigid spoke from the back seat. "Nemeton." She wanted to head back to the base.

Bevan turned around in the driver's seat. "Aren't we going to go after the people who want to harm Jennifer?"

"We are," said Brigid. "After we see if Maitho is of any use to us."

"Can't we do that after taking care of the Jennifer situation?" It was obvious that Bevan was seeking more time.

"We are fighting powerful adversaries. In order for us to be strong, we need to stick with the strong. We don't have the luxury of being charitable to the weak."

The silence that Bevan offered went on for too long. It was clear from the minute fluctuations on his face that he wanted to say something, but was holding himself back.

"In that case," said Quinn, his voice holding its usual mirth. "We are lucky to have Maitho, aren't we?"

Brigid leaned forward until her head was close to the gap between the two front seats. "I wonder about your loyalty, car. Aren't you supposed to be chauffeuring us around? Last I checked, it was the Celtic pantheon that had a magical vehicle. Not whatever pantheon the man who can see the future is from."

"Yoruba," said Quinn.

"Never heard of it. Nor do I care much about it."

Quinn chuckled. "Do you know what I think?"

Without showing Brigid what he was up to, Maitho moved his hand to the door handle. He tapped twice, making sure it wasn't loud enough to alert anyone. He hoped Quinn got the message.

Let it go.

"I'm listening," said Brigid.

"Well," said Quinn. Maitho held his breath. He had given the signal, but he wasn't about to force someone to do something. Still, he hoped that this would not continue. He didn't want anyone to step up for him anymore. "I think we should the security room of the base. We can arm ourselves if required."

Brigid smiled. "You're a loyal car. I knew I could depend on you."

There was no response from Quinn.

Maitho wondered if he could take another course. Forget any of the pantheons. Forget the Gods or Guardians. If the humans were indeed under some control, then it wasn't up to Maitho to solve their problem. He wasn't a savior. Even if he were to plan something, he was going up against an army far more powerful, resourceful, and connected than he was. Then there was the rather obvious matter of time—he just didn't have enough of it. Even if he were to take the help of the entire Celtic pantheon, what is he going to achieve? If, by some series of coincidences, he did manage to save the human race, then what about him?

He still had no idea how Cray was going to seal his fate. As long as the old man lived, then Maitho supposed that he was considered 'saved.' Yet all it would take was for Cray to ask one of his children to end his life. The man had done that before and had survived only because Maitho had been there to rescue him.

There were just too many variables left without tangible solutions. Maitho felt an overwhelming presence of defeat pressing down on him. The interior of the car suddenly seemed smaller. His chest contracted. He choked on an emotion he couldn't identify. Fear? Disappointment? Loss of self?

Quinn began to move. Maitho was thankful that no one needed to continue the conversation. He allowed the back of his hand to rest against the window. The outside view had changed. Gone was the bright morning that he had experienced. In its place was the congregation of clouds that took it upon themselves to hide sunlight as much as possible.

The passing of buildings, vehicles and humans transformed from individual features to a blurring scenery. It wasn't because Quinn was driving fast. It was simply because Maitho lost focus in the presentation of the world beyond the window.

A sudden jolt caused Maitho to open his eyes in alarm, his fight or flight instincts kicking into overdrive. After a flurry of disorienting thoughts, he realized that he had fallen asleep. He looked around and noticed Bevan's arm on his shoulder. "We're here," the Guardian said and offered a weak smile.

Maitho noticed that Brigid wasn't in the car. He pushed himself forward in his seat, blinking a few times to clear as much of the fog in his head as possible.

"You okay?" said Bevan.

"I thought she would just smack me awake," said Maitho, forcing a laugh that didn't seem to want to be there.

"Well, Epona convinced her not to. Said you at least deserved a moment to rest."

The mention of her name caused Maitho to look into the rearview mirror. He spotted the short-haired Celtic Guardian in the backseat, her eyes meeting his.

"Give us a few moments," said Epona. "Tell Brigid ah'm bringin him doun."

Bevan hesitated, but nodded before closing the door. He began walking away from the car towards the underground parking elevator of the Celtic base. To Maitho, it felt as though it had been many days since he had been here.

There was a moment of silence in the car. Quinn shattered it, but with a pleasant voice that exuded so much kindness, Maitho felt the warmth course through his body. "Would you like me to stop listening?"

Maitho frowned. "You can do that?"

"You can close your ears, can't you?"

"Ah, same principle?"

"The same principle, my dear."

Epona spoke from the backseat. "Na, ah think ah wad prefer if ye listen. Ah think ye are better wi words than ah am."

"Very well," said Quinn. "I shall keep the intrusions to a minimum."

Another silence pressed itself inside the car. Eventually, Maitho broke it. "We can't stay here all day."

"Why did ye stop puttin up a fight?" Epona asked, diving headfirst into the matter at hand.

Maitho sighed. Answers began to pile up in his mind. He chose the one that he thought made sense of the situation. "Why do you think they wanted me to meet everyone in a different location? It was a show of power. Today, Cray and the Norse Guardians wanted to take every opportunity to show us just how easily they can crush us, if they chose to. They were taunting us today. Plain and simple. That's why Cray wanted to show off his army and his allies. That's why Erik wanted us to meet him in that bloody skyscraper. He probably even riled us up just so he could introduce the Valkyrie."

There was a break that lasted for two breaths. Maitho began to wonder what Epona was thinking about. He also hoped that his response was convincing enough.

She eventually spoke. "Ye dinnae have tae give an excuse, Maitho. Ah'm here tae listen tae whit ye really want tae say."

Maitho raised his hands. "What do you think I want to say?"

Epona leaned forward, her hand grabbing Maitho's seat. "Okay then. Maybe ah asked the wrong question. Are ye thinkin o dying, Maitho?"

The meaning of her question was obvious. At this point, Maitho couldn't simply offer another half-baked response in the vain attempt to divert her attention. Yet, his mind was trying to wiggle its way out of giving a direct answer.

Before he could think of what exactly he should say, Epona's voice reached him. For the first time, it was soft. Supportive. She spoke as though she was a nurse trying to calm a patient in pain. "Maitho, if ye think ah neit tae hear the truth, then I'll listen. But if ye think ah only deserve another explanation, then I'll still listen."

Her words dug into the depths of his subconscious, where he was keeping all the things he wanted to express.

"Remember that I am a car," said Quinn, after waiting for a pause to show that he wasn't trying to simply interrupt the conversation. "If you want time, then I can drive you so far that you will have nothing but time."

Maitho smiled. "Thanks Quinn. But the most you can give me is less than two weeks."

"Then I'll give you every second of it."

Their words broke whatever defense Maitho was holding on to. It was like the analogy of the cracks forming in the dam before they became big enough to collapse the entire structure. Right now, Maitho's inner dam still held firm, but the cracks were big enough to let through a lot of his feelings.

He closed his eyes and let out a breath. He allowed his shoulders to sag. His arms felt weightless.

Eventually, he spoke. "Yes. The truth is, I'm afraid I'm just going to accept my fate without so much as an opposing thought. I'm afraid that I'm just waiting to die."