Secret's Out

I can see my sister's eyes staring into mine. She's meaning to kill me, and I'm at peace with it.

~

Living near the castle may have been desired by most, but not for me. I spent my days toiling amidst the singing birds and the breeze-swept stretches of farmland on the outskirts of the city. My family didn't know I would often disappear there. If they did, they would be mortified.

Of the many gifts that my twin sister, Ceri, was rewarded with, the only one I yearned for was my parents' admiration for her. In fact, so enamoured were they by her accomplishments that my existence barely crossed their thoughts. As if they were a family, and I was merely an extension. Perhaps, at times even an inconvenience to them. They were tall and strong with sandy hair that flowed in the wind. Their stature was more desired within a kingdom as powerful as Gesa – far more than my short height, dark hair, and weak arms ever would be.

I still remember the day my sister learned of Finn. It was about a year ago on a typical sunny day in Gesa. I was yet again at the farm with him, helping tend to the horses. I loved brushing their hair, but even more, I loved being around Finn. He was the only one to ever see me as beautiful. I approached him from behind.

My murmur tickled his ear, "is there something I can help you with today?

A smile bright enough to light the day came over my face, knowing I was about to see those speckled freckles again strewn across his nose. I swayed on my heels and clasped my hands together behind my back.

Finn was brushing a horse, but when I spoke he paused. He dropped the brush and turned around. Our eyes met and we immediately pulled each other in with equal force until our lips met. The sensation of a thousand little fairies ran down my spine and through my hair. I can only imagine he felt the same sensation as we both struggled to pull away yet did so with a smile.

"Nahkti," Finn whispered warmly, his breath flaming my reddened cheeks, "I didn't think you would be here today."

"I wanted to surprise you. Besides, right now, I'm trying to avoid my parents. Let me brush Mary for you." I was referring to the horse. I reached down for the brush that Finn let drop on the floor – surely because of his excitement in seeing me. As I began tending to the horse, Finn smiled and found another brush so he could join me.

"Why are you trying to avoid your parents?"

"My birthday is next week. They told me they found the man I shall marry and that I will meet him. I didn't want to hear any more of it. When they weren't looking, I slipped away."

Finn's shoulders dropped and eyes stared down. "I see. Have you told them yet? About us?"

"Heaven's no, I don't have the strength to stand up to them. You know how they are."

His eyes made contact with mine. "Maybe they won't mind. Maybe we can tell them together."

"My father would demand you two duel in order to prove yourself worthy. My parents are eminent knights of Gesa, they love strength and they love power. Unfortunately, farmers like yourself don't offer either of those."

Finn stopped brushing and reached for a broom. He began to sweep. "We offer a different type of strength and power."

"Old tradition is difficult to break though."

"Everybody needs food, we provide that to them. I'll never understand how your family can look down on us."

I stopped brushing Mary and reached for Finn's hands on the broom handle. "I understand your family's importance in the kingdom. Food brings us life, and you bring us food. That is immensely powerful."

"I know you're on our side. But then, what do you plan to do, about your parents?"

I slowly retreated back to Mary. "I don't know yet."

Finn moved the broom back to its original spot and came close to me. "With your birthday on the horizon you must tell them soon, or I could lose you forever. Will I lose you?"

But, courage was like a muscle – had I nurtured it with practise, it would have grown and strengthened over time. Sadly, I had neglected it for too long. How was I meant to confront them about Finn? A large part of me feared they would unleash Ceri upon him if I did so. When I was much younger, my parents forced my sister and I to begin our combat training. I quickly learnt that I could never be as coordinated or strong as Ceri. And thus, I had to learn the art of keeping my emotions unseen and my words unheard.

Many years ago, I accidently knocked over a small carving of a warrior. It was a gift Father had received for his bravery and strength in the Great War. It came from the King, it held immense value in Father's eyes. I was practicing my manoeuvres – a turn and a swing of the wooden sword proved to be too close to the statue. My sword collided with the carving and knocked it off the shelf. It broke into countless pieces. I wept tears, more tears than there were pieces on the floor, not for the loss of the carving, but for fear of my parents discovering what I had done.

My parents heard the noise and headed to investigate the cause of the disturbance. I ran to hide outside. I planned to play the fool and pretend I heard not a thing. I wasn't counting on Ceri being outside. She knew what happened. I begged for her silence. My parents found the broken pieces of my father's treasured gift, then they found us outside and demanded to know what happened.

Without delay, Ceri turned me in. I should have been in shock, but I was used to her betraying our bond. My punishment, I had to battle my sister until my parents felt I had learned my lesson.

I can't tell you for how long it went on, but the wood of Ceri's sword broke over my back at one point. At the time, I wished we were using real swords just so I could be done with the pain. She did not hold back, not in the slightest. I almost imagined she was enjoying the torment she pummelled into me. Unfortunately, duelling siblings were a normal family affair in Gesa.

Finn was still waiting for me to answer his query. I wanted to tell him we should run away. I didn't know where we could go. Finn was older than me, but not by much. If we did leave, we would be two children alone in an unwelcoming world.

I did not oblige him with an answer, not even as much as a sound. He reached for my hands. He looked deep into my eyes. His bronze eyes matched the specs on his nose.

A ferocious yell came from behind. "This is where you go?" It was Ceri. She must have followed me there.

My heart began racing and my breathing quickened. The bruises she had given me throughout my life all began to burn in my body.

Finn had never met her before. "Excuse me, can I help you?"

My voice quivered, "it's my sister."

Finn stood tall in front of me. I used him as a shield. Her towering profile came to a halt within inches of Finn. She was taller and stronger than us. She insisted Finn step down. I pulled on his arm and begged he listen. I didn't want Ceri to make a drastic move and take my Finn right in front of my eyes. I would never be able to live knowing he's not alive.

"It's fine Finn," my voice was trembling, but I tried to make myself appear calm. Finn did as requested and let me confront my sister. In the moment, I may have looked courageous, but I can assure you I was not feeling it even in the slightest. "Ceri, is something wrong?"

I instantly recognised that merciless look, the one that she often hurled at those she considered beneath her, essentially at everyone besides our parents.

She grabbed my arm. "We're going home." There was no debating it, she pulled me away without even a struggle.