15

"No."

Hayan looked up at him in confusion. "W-why?"

"If you said it without looking like that, I might be happy right now. But you don't ask someone out just to forget the other. That's bad."

"I'm sorry..."

Red smiled at him. "Silly. You can just confess again when you're not looking like that."

"You rejected me."

He chuckled at his statement. "How does it feel? Now we're even." He then pinched the tip of his nose lightly before hugging him again.

"Let me hug you for awhile, until you feel better."

"I... I already feel better. T-thank you, Red." Hayan then realized that they are in public and people might see them so he tried to push him lightly but Red hugged him tighter.

"Just some more... This might never happen again so I'm making the most of it."

Hayan didn't argue anymore and just let him be. After all, he feels guilty for running to him crying like that. He felt like he used Red for his personal gain.

But I feel glad that he's the one who saw me.

"Hayan!" Suddenly, Sean's voice echoed. Red finally let him go while he try to wipe his face to remove the remaining tears and stand up. But still, he can't hide the fact that he cried.

Sean ran to him and worry spread all over his face seeing his state.

"What happened to you? Why are you..." He glared at Red. "What did you do to him?"

"Sean, he didn't do anything." Hayan said stopping him by holding in to his arm. "He... He actually helped me."

"You let him out of your sight and this happened. Way to go, Sean." Red said with a hint of mockery on his voice. Sean didn't say anything but his fists are balled due to anger.

"Let's go, Hayan." He grabbed Hayan by the wrist and pulled him away, almost running.

"Sean... Sean... W-wait... I... I can't breathe..." Hayan said already gasping for air. Sean remembered he had an asthma and stopped still not letting go of his wrist.

"W-where did you go?" Hayan asked still gasping for air.

"Are you okay? Have you brought your inhaler? Where is it?"

"I'm fine... I'm fine... I just need to rest for a while." He answered and slowly sit down on the ground. Tiredness slowly creeping on his body. He feels like a lot of things happened already. "I want to go home."

"Don't sit there! Let's go back to the hotel."

"Okay."

The walk back to the hotel was quiet and awkward. Sean knew something happened and it probably involves Hajin but he just can't attempt to ask him about it as it feels like a sensitive topic to Hayan.

"I'm sorry if I went out without telling you. I found a store and got too excited that I forgot to tell you."

This wouldn't happen if I stayed beside him.

"Hajin..." Hayan whispered. "You said Hajin might like me, but you're wrong."

"Huh?"

"He's with someone right now. I feel guilty for getting ahead of myself and thinking that what we had is mutual. Hajin's really nice for putting up with me. But I need to stop this delusion and face reality." They both stopped when they reached their hotel room.

"I'm... Giving up this feeling." Hayan held the doorknob tighter, his hand slowly trembling. "S-sorry, but can you leave me alone for a while? I... I just want to sleep." He opened the door and closed it leaving Sean staring at it.

-

Last day of the field trip. Afternoon.

"Is everyone here?"

Their adviser asked as they lined up beside the bus. They're finally going home. Hayan quickly arranged his things earlier and went outside so he won't bump into Hajin. Hajin must have noticed him acting strange as he keeps looking at his way. He hide onto Sean not wanting to face him.

"Sit beside me, Sean." Hayan whispered.

"Of course."

"Since the trip is over, you can sit with whoever you like. Now, you can board the bus, one by one, okay?"

Hayan held on his arm as he hide and face and walked slowly.

"Do you want to go last? But you might not be able to sit beside the window."

"It's fine... I don't really mind."

"Okay..."

They finally boarded the bus. Hayan secretly looks over to where Hajin is and saw him sitting with his friends and looking at him. Surprised, he hid his face on Sean's back as they walk past him. They sat on the empty two seated chair with Hayan beside the window.

"Take a rest. I'll wake you up when we're at school." Hayan nodde and rest his head on his shoulder. Minutes later, he falls asleep. Sean sighs deeply as he stare at Hayan's face. His eyes are still swollen from crying. He instinctly wiped the corner of his eyes and caressed his face but stops abruptly when he realized what he did.

Can I just be the one you love? Unlike Hajin I can return your feelings.

He sighed once more and stared at the window.

-

"Oh, Hayan? Welcome back!"

Hayan's mother energetically greets him when he got home.

"How's the trip? Did you bring souvenirs?"

"It's in my bag. I don't know if you'll like it." Hayan answered listlessly as he walk inside the house. His mother seemed to have noticed he is down and more lethargic than ever.

"Hayan... Did something happened at the trip?"

Hayan turned around and hugged his mother. His tears threatening to fall again.

"Hayan, why-"

"Mom, I fell in love... And I got hurt." Hayan answered with his voice trembling and cracking. His mother immediately hugged him back as she slowly rubbed his back.

"Getting hurt is part of falling in love, Hayan."

"But I don't want this feeling. How do you make it stop, Mom? How do you make it go away?"

"It won't be easy. It will take time. But I'm sure that you will be stronger than ever when that time comes." His mother slowly lift up his head and wiped the tears on his eyes. "I cooked your favorite food, do you want to eat?" Her smile made Hayan's heart feel warm and at ease that somehow it erased the pain in his heart.

He slowly nodded.

"Get changed, then. I'll prepare it for you." She gave him a small peck on the forehead before letting him go and going back to the kitchen.