Fog of the Heart

Everyone in the class turned their heads, looking at me with shock and confusion. He's a brand new teacher in this school and he got late for today's conference, so it is quite suspicious for him to gain such a mere information about me when he wasn't around earlier this morning.

"Do you guys mind sharing a quick story of how you two met?" Kody asked, his eyes switching back and forth, waiting for an answer. "Okay, I should've saved that for later. Oopsies-"

"This is actually our first encounter. I've heard a lot about him and they were right. You are quite the mischievous and resilient man."

"Pardon? Mischievous?" I glared at him, "Have I wronged you, or anyone that you love before?"

"I think you took my words the wrong way. I meant like the aura you give off, Ethan." He explained, giving out a bashful grin. "It has nothing to do with your actions, I'm sure you're a good kid."

"I'm Ethan Josiah Kinsly. I am 18 years old, I grew up in London and came here to pursue my studies away from distractions, closer to my friends and the rest is history."

"It's nice to meet you, Ethan. You have a unique name, Josiah. I like that, it's not a usual name here."

"Thank you, Sir." I nodded, giving him a sly smile. "Josefina, my mother, gave it to me."

He clears his throat in embarrassment. The other students noticed and began whispering with each other. He didn't see that coming, did he? I know all of his dirty little secrets and it doesn't take long to reveal it, but I'm not that kind of person. I'd rather have it to myself and use it when needed.

"Your mother must've been proud to give you a derivation from her name." He smiled, "I mean, it is a pleasure to have someone close to you hold a memory that everyone else wouldn't forget."

"True. My father had a dog named Kobe and he passed before I was born." Kody shared, "Now that I said that. Did my father just name me after a dog that died?!"

"Fair enough, you do act like a puppy similar to right now." Prof. Elijah teased, "Anyways, since you did a short sharing, why don't you introduce yourself?"

"Uh- I'm Kody Williams. I am 18 years old and I am a full-time instrumentalist." Kody went on, "If I'm being completely honest? I certainly don't have a sense of purpose and direction, but I will not go a mile with that topic since uh- every teenager goes through it, so it's an "everyone" problem, at least that's how I see it."

The entire class turned to him, eyebrows furrowed. Even Professor Elijah was astonished. I am barely surprised, he does this often times and sometimes when I call him on the phone, he never forgets a ringtone he professionally made and it goes like, "Ring, ring. Depression speaking, what can I do for you today?"

For a teenager who's always full of the joys of spring everyday, you'll never know when he's down in the dumps. There are just sides of people that we never know about until we decide to listen, or open our hearts to them. I have known Kody for my whole life and yet, I could never read his emotions, he's the kind to conceal it away even when he's close to a burst that could wreck him on the inside. I've tried reaching out to him, asking him when it

is close to impossible to hear an answer.

"Kids. Teenagers. These are the people that adults often belittle." Prof. Elijah stated, "they assume that if you're young, you don't know anything, not a single thing about life."

"You're an adult, do you think likewise?" I asked, adjusting in my seat. "It's impossible if you've never done that, most adults do."

"Hm, I have, before." He raised a finger. "But, it wasn't my intention to do so. It's just that there are times emotions gets the best of us, and we can't take back the things we've said."

"Emotions. Isn't that a stupid thing to exist?" I raised my hands, turning to everyone. "It has nothing better to do other than turn you into a wreck, or a monster."

"Did it? Did it turn you into one of them?" He raised a brow. "Is it the reason why you're so heartless? So mad at everything?"

"You are in no position to call me heartless." I growled, curling my fists. "You don't know what I've been through. Actually you do, you did all of this, you're the sole reason of why I am like this. You stole her from me, you are a fucking old bastard, a homewrecker!"

Kody turned to me with shock written on his face and everyone in class started having a whole new gossip to feed on. To my surprise, our Principal was leaning on our classroom's doorframe, anticipating the conversation.

"Ethan and Professor Elijah, both of you go to my office right now."

First day of school, and I already got my ass stuck in trouble, how lovely. I let out an angry sigh as I forcefully grab my bag, slinging it on my shoulder.

"Kody, list down all of the requirements, and buy it for me." I demanded, heading out the classroom.

I run my fingers through my hair out of anger and frustration. Out of all the days that this could've happened, why today? I'm going to receive another suspension for this, or even worse, probably a therapy.

Before stepping inside the office, I looked at myself in the mirror, fixing my hair and every single imperfections I could see on myself. I'll be honest, I am truly scared of what's going to happen once I go in there. I could already hear Professor Elijah blaming the situation on me. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door, slowly opening it. Professor Elijah immediately goes silent upon my presence.

"Ethan, come over here and have a seat." Mr. Mcnuggle offered. "So, you're both aware of why we're gathered here today. This early."

"Look, can you let me explain?" I cut in. "He initiated it first. I was just answering his—"

"So it's my fault now? I said nothing, but the truth." Professor Elijah insisted. "You proved my point back there and that says a lot."

"Truth? You? You're learning to speak about the truth? Pathetic." I scoffed. "As far as I am concerned, you were a liar to everyone that you loved. You even took his wife, your best man's wife."

"This has nothing to do with what happened, Ethan. Don't bring this up." He pleaded. "This is something we talk about in another time."

"Oh? You insulted me back there." I turned to him, disappointment in my eyes. "That insult back there was connected to what I just said and you're telling me to shut it?"

"If only you answered me politely, I would not have given you that response." He explained, "You were getting on my nerves, you wanted to make it look like I was a terrible man."

"That's because you are. What makes you a good man out of what you did?" I gave out a sardonic laugh.

"Enough. The both of you. This has gone too far." Mr. Mcnuggle raised his voice. "Please, it is only the first day of this school year."

"Can we just finish this? I can't stand being in this same room as him." I complained, "I will need to go home too since I'm going to get detention anyways, or even better, a week long of suspension."

"No, it's too early for you to have that kind of punishment." Mr. Mcnuggle said. "I'll give you a better option and if you agree to it, I'll have you go home after this."

"Alright then, it's a deal." I sit up, crossing my arms. "So, what's the option?"

"You'll have to visit your mother everyday, I'm certain you know where she lives." He reveals, smiling. "I know you'll hate this, but if you really want to skip classes today, then it is something you should agree too."

"Really? Out of all the options you could have and get, you really chose this?" I stood up, as I point at Prof. Elijah. "Let me guess. This was his idea. Oh, fucking hell. If I find out that it is, I will burn him to the ground."

"Sit down, young man. Let's be civil for once in this conversation." Mr. Mcnuggle scolded, looking at the both of us. "It is his idea, but I think it's a great idea as well."

"A great idea? Sir, I think highly of you, but I cannot accept this." I snarled, "What makes you think that this is going to compensate a lot of things that he said?"

"Because you wanted this ever since then as a kid." Prof. Elijah interrupted. "You've always wanted to reconnect with her. You wanted to have her back in your arms."

"You don't know that. I've changed, I'm not a kid anymore." I refused. "You do not know a single thing about my life, or what I want."

"Maybe you're right. I don't know a lot about your life." He admitted. "But one thing I know is that your heart longs for that love. A kind of love that you missed.

"But something is in the way. It's making you deny that. Anger, that's it. You let anger rule over you, you push people away cause you think they're gonna hurt you the same way you've been hurt. It's fogging your heart, it's telling you things, terrible things about love, truth, and kindness."

"Anger cannot compare to love and it never will. Love is much more stronger. If anger has and is able to fog your heart, let love, truth, and kindness do the same. It can show you a lot of wonderful things, and you don't want to miss out on that, Ethan."