Hope Against Hope

"Hi, ladies," Jesse said on his way to another table.

"Hi, Dr Murray," Susie's table chorused. Susie herself barely spoke and then she actually turned her nose up and faced the other way.

Jesse was a bit surprised but he didn't think much of it until later that afternoon when they crossed paths again.

This time he was standing with Pearl and Getty. They all greeted her but again she chose to snub him.

And this time Pearl called her back.

"Susie," Pearl began gently, "you are very talented and you're clearly a smart girl, too. The way you treated Dr Murray was uncalled for. Would you like to explain yourself? I'm sure you didn't mean to be so rude."

Susie was quiet for a moment and then she blurted out, "You said we shouldn't try too hard to get attention! That we should value ourselves with pride and not throw ourselves at guys." By the time she finished, she was mumbling.

"I did say that," Pearl said, glancing at Jesse and Getty before saying, "but I didn't mean go around being rude to every male you meet. Not all of them will express physical or romantic interest in you so you don't have to brush them off." Pause. "Dr Murray, for example. I'm positive he hasn't tried to put any moves on you."

Susie looked down at her shoes. "I guess not. I wasn't trying to be rude," the girl said quietly.

"We both know that," Jesse spoke up then, "but that's how you ignoring me came across."

"I'm sorry Dr Murray," she said after a short silence.

"Apology accepted. I just hope there are no hard feelings." He sent her an inquiring look.

When her eyes met his, she shook her head and tried for a smile.

"Great." Pearl smiled too. "Go catch up with the rest of your group."

"Yes, ma'am."

The three of them watched the girl walk away.

"Thanks for handling that."

"You're welcome."

"My let downs are never that gentle. Dealing with a child crush isn't something I've ever had to do."

Pearl chuckled, "But you do that sort of thing often?"

"Let downs? No, not often… but I have had to in the past."

Shaking her head, the younger of the two women walking with him mumbled, "Me too."

That made him laugh out loud. Pearl looked up at him and smiled. She liked the sound of his laugh. It really came from a place inside his chest and rumbled out. It sounded nice. And real.

Getty watched all this with a small smile on her own face. She dared not hope for what she saw but thought it would be nice if it happened.

Pearl had a flashback a few days after camp ended.

Sitting in the shade of an umbrella outside a busy sidewalk café, she was doing her Gutin camp evaluation. Corey had just handed in her input that morning and with all the leaders reports in, Pearl had decided to work over lunch. She had been reading campers' feedback statements and then her food arrived. Closing the folder, she pushed it aside to have her meal.

Pearl took her first bite of her sub and sat back. Looking around her, she had the strangest feeling. She cocked her head to one side and closed her eyes for a moment, trying to put her finger on the sensation.

The moment it struck her, she opened her eyes with a smile. One hand lingered on the edge of her plate as she sat silently for a while longer. The feeling was getting stronger inside her and Pearl wasn't about to fight it.

And then the moment was over. It left her with a sense of peace and she went back to eating her lunch. Towards the end of her sandwich she opened the camp review folder and started mentally drafting her conclusion.

"I've decided to go back to Bolivia."

"What?"

"You've got to be kidding!"

"Pearl!"

The chorus of protest was not unexpected so Pearl waited for the family to quiet. When they all demanded an explanation, she told them that she had had a very vivid flashback about the café she'd frequented with her parents on one of her father's missions.

"And I remember this old man who used to sell flowers across the road," she smiled, almost to herself. "We would go for coffee and cake. He would be there singing to his plants... I want to go there again."

"Wait a minute!" Sam sat upright, a tenor of surprise clear in his voice. "You want to go back to the place where you had a severe asthma attack, Pearl?"

Vivienne gasped, probably remembering the incident Sam referred to.

Pearl didn't look as disturbed. In fact, Pearl seemed quite the opposite. She appeared to be calm but excited. "I'll be okay. It's been ages since my last serious attack."

"Pearl…" Jesse said in a low voice.

She ducked her head, "Okay, except for that time, it's been ages!"

"That time?" Dana echoed.

With a sigh, Pearl recounted the asthma attack she had at the girl's basketball camp.

"Oh Jesse, thank God you were there!" Vivienne grasped her son's hand.

Jesse caressed the hand reassuringly. "As you can see, she's fine now."

"Yes, but-"

"I've already decided to go, Aunt Viv," Pearl cut in softly.

There was a long silence as everyone present absorbed the fact that Pearl was going back to a place where she'd fallen prey to her illness. Whether they liked it or not. And it seemed her decision was based solely on a feeling.

"Well, then," Sam started, "when do you leave?"

"Monty said I could go as soon as I am ready. Maybe next weekend?" she shrugged, glad the Teab-Murrays weren't fighting her decision to travel away again.

"How long will you be gone for?"

Pearl said she wasn't sure. She'd been asked to return to work with the Brazilian handball player again, so she could be away for quite a while.