Barely Breathing

Leaning back in his chair, Jesse turned toward the door. "Come in!"

She walked in and looked around. "Were you on the phone just now?"

"Kind of. Skype."

"Oh, that makes sense. I could hear your voice from outside."

He smiled and got up "The room is all yours."

"Thanks."

Just as he reached the door, Jesse heard her cough. It made him stop and frown. "Pearl."

"What is it?"

"Do you mind if I sit in on your meeting?"

Her mouth opened and he hurried on. "I just want to make sure you're okay. I won't say anything, I'll stay out of the shot." Pause. "Unless you need me to help you. I understand why you might say no, but I'm only asking because I think it might be necessary."

She looked like she would refuse but then suddenly she shrugged. "Okay."

Walking to the desk, she sat down. She fiddled around with the monitor and then logged in to her account. Jesse settled into a chair further away.

Within ten minutes all the regional representatives of the counsellor's committee were visible on the screen and the meeting began. Pearl was asked to do the opening prayer and she obliged. She coughed once before and then proceeded without difficulty. As someone else was presenting some data, she coughed again.

Jesse left the room unnoticed and returned a moment later with some water. She turned to look at him when he placed it on the desk beside her.

"Thank you," she said to him. He nodded and went to sit on the other side of the desk.

"Who's that?" two of her colleagues asked simultaneously.

"It's my friend, Dr Murray, he's sitting in for my care."

"If you'd let me, I'd marry you and take care of all your health needs, Miss Guthrie," Mr Grett said smoothly, with a smile.

Pearl wasn't the only one who rolled her eyes. "Could you get any more opportunistic, Richmond? Can we get back to the meeting, please?"

The Asian rep kept on going with her presentation and the attention went back to business.

The next time Pearl took a sip of water, Richmond spoke to her again. "Pearl, honey, if you're not feeling well I can take notes for you and get in touch with you later on. I want you taking care of yourself before I get you to myself."

Jesse shifted in his seat and Pearl took two deep breaths.

"What does he mean?" the Australian rep asked. "Is he really courting you, Miss Guthrie?"

"No!" she said emphatically, her face going red as Jesse watched her suppress a cough.

"If you're not Mr Grett, your behaviour really isn't appropriate."

"Ah, come on now, you are all forcing my hand! You know Pearl and I are friends. It wouldn't really be that absurd."

Jesse could hear them speaking, but his eyes were on Pearl. She wasn't speaking to anyone anymore.

"Pearl," he asked quietly, "do you need help?"

After a moment, she shook her head and reached for the glass of water.

Pearl made it through the meeting but Jesse could see how she struggled as the time passed. She spoke less and less and whenever she did speak, Jesse could hear the laboured strain of her breathing. She barely said anything as her closing remarks.

When her lips started to lose colour, Jesse stood up and silently left the office. He went to her room, rummaged in her hand bag and the bed side drawer and finally found her inhaler. Returning to the study, he nearly bumped into Pearl at the door.

The meeting was over and she was wheezing, a hand to her throat, the other hand gripping the door frame for support. When she saw the inhaler in his hand, Pearl snatched it from him.

Pearl slid down the wall as Jesse started to walk away. She knew she was out of the danger zone but she hadn't expected him to leave her. Crumpling into a sitting position, the tears rolled down her cheeks silently.

Something about her face in the moment she desperately pumped medication into her throat made Jesse turn away from her. It went against every medically trained nerve and bone in his body but his stomach roiled seeing the way she'd just reacted. It was like seeing an addict desperately grab their drug of choice as the urge to indulge increased beyond their capacity for restraint.

Jesse stopped dead in his tracks as a pathetic noise broke the silence in the hallway. Pearl emitted a miserable moan and he knew he had to go back. So he turned around and walked to her, his emotions making speech impossible.

He could see the tears running down her face and his gut turned cold. He had to consciously push all his personal feelings away and allow his medical experience to take charge.

Returning to her side, Jesse wrapped his arms around her and took the pump from her weak grip. After she had inhaled another dose of medication, he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. Silently, he turned down the covers on her bed, helped her off with her shoes and put her to bed.

Pearl didn't fight him when he unbuttoned her shirt and gently pushed it off her shoulders. Her cheeks were slightly flushed but he kept it closed until he moved to take it off her shoulders from behind her. Then he pulled up the sheets to cover her chest before slipping a hand into her lacy camisole to undo her bra. Carefully he tugged at it from the side and it came out.

He lay his drowsy patient down and within seconds, her eyes drooped closed for the last time and she was fast asleep. Jesse shook his head as he pushed tendrils of hair away from her face.

"When are you going to accept that you need me, honey? Let me help you… let me love you," he said to her softly. As much as he didn't expect her to answer, Jesse really wished he could find an answer somewhere on the beautiful face in front of him.