One - Shoyo's POV

When I was experiencing the happiest moment in my life, he left.

The feeling I had at that moment isn't comparable to that time when we had our match with Nekoma when Kenma was trying to cage me in. It wasn't even close to the feeling where I feel like my whole body is being tied up with vines when I realized that I still can't do any thing without him. Nor to that time when I feel so frustrated fighting Ushijima-san because he's so strong and cool during our match with Shiratorizawa.

This time, it was like my wings got cut off. Totally. Cruelly. Defenselessly. By the person I trusted the most. The person who made me invincible. The person who swore to be with me until we grow old. The person I gave my heart to.

"Being with you is suffocating. It's like my wings will get clipped any moment because of your existence." Those were his exact words when we meet up after not seeing each other for a year.

I wanted to surprise him that's why I visited him on his hotel when he told me that he's already in Brazil. I want to show him how much I've improved since I left. I want him to know that finally, I can catch up to him now. I was happy. It was supposed to be a happy moment but it seems that it wasn't.

"Let's break up, Hinata."

Hinata? What happened to Shoyo? Ah I see. So this is the end.

I sighed and look up to suppress my tears from falling. I did expect that we won't end up happily just like any other normal couple. It's just that I didn't expect that I will hear those words from him. Not from the Tobio I know.

I gather my courage and looked at him in the eye trying to see any remorse but it's empty. His eyes were. And that's when I was sure that it has end. The chapter in his life where I am in it has officially ends.

I put up a smile like I used to whenever we fight about something when we officially became a couple. I wasn't like this before, but just because I fell in love first, I swallowed up my pride whenever we had an argument.

You didn't fall in love first. You're the only one in love. My mind corrected. Because I never once heard him say that he loves me.

"Thank you...for the past four years Kageyama. And I'm sorry for taking this long to let go of you. I wish you all the best." I said with all my might suppressing the tears that tries to escape in my eyes.

"Goodbye." That's all what he said before he left me for good.

He left without looking back at me. I didn't chase him too. Because I know that even if I do, when he already sets his mind to any thing, there's nothing that could stop him. So I just watch him leave. I watched my Tobio as he soar higher chasing his dream to become one of the best setters, to become the person who will play volleyball the longest.

I realized that losing to the great king Oikawa-san during the interhigh tournament is my great downfall, breaking down because of a high fever during our match with Kamomedai on nationals is a greater downfall of mine. But now, looking at it, Kageyama Tobio is still my greatest downfall. Ever since middle school he has always been it.

---

"Why didn't you stop him? I thought you love him? Besides it wasn't the first time that he asked for a break up. When you stayed over at my place one time, he asked for a break up. When Atsumu-san invite you to watch a movie, he did the same the next day when he already knew about it. Also that one time you coincidentally met Oikawa-san here in Brazil, didn't he made a fuss about it too? But you never agreed to any of those moments. So what is it this time?" Kenma asked when I went to his apartment after Tobio left me.

He was the first person who found out our relationship and he's the first one to find out that we're through. For good.

"Is there other reason, why you didn't chase him this time?" Kenma asked trying to squeeze details in me since it's the first time that I told him that Tobio and I is done for.

Like he said, every single time he wants a break up, I fight for this love I have for him. But hearing those words. Seeing those empty eyes. All the courage I had to stop him from leaving, vanished. I knew at that moment, I should give up.

"When I told him that I want to come here in Brazil to train, he didn't stop me. He knew how much I love volleyball that I'll do everything, anything even going to this unknown place entering this new world just to get stronger. That's why I'm doing the same for him." I said faking my smile that made Kenma make a sour face.

"Shoyo this is totally different from that time. So stop smiling like that cause you're only making me angrier. You should cry if it hurts so much! And don't you dare lie to me! Tell me the truth!" He demands madly at me before chugging the can of beer that I bought when I went to his place.

I smiled but this time I didn't try to hide the pain and just let all the tears to fall like how they wanted to.

"How can I stop him when he told me that being with me is suffocating? That he can't fly higher because of me? Besides, he's not gay to begin with. I'm not like him. I can't love girls but he can. He can have a normal life. I can't. I can only love men. So do you think I have the will to stop him?" I said as I cried my heart out when I remembered Tobio's words.

"That crazy bastard! Should I tell Kuro and the gang to kill him? He has the nerve to tell you that you're suffocating him? When did you ever do that? You never! Ever! Did! That asshole! I'm gonna punch him if I ever see him!" Kenma roared in anger.

Looking at him raging in madness somehow looks adorable specially while his cheeks are red because of the beer we're drinking although he is not a lightweight like me. I never knew that there will be a time that I'll see him mad like this. Normally he's like an aloof cat that doesn't give a damn to anything but now he looks like a mad wild cat ready to fight with his sharp claws.

I bursted into laughter that made him speechless for a minute. He looked at me as if I'm some kind of lunatic laughing and crying at the same time.

"You're also crazy Shoyo. Laugh or cry just pick one! Damn you!" He said in a now calm manner.

Kenma ruffled my hair sofly when I rest my head in the table. He looked at me normally. Just like years ago when I confessed to him that I'm gay. He never treated me differently nor with disgust even after that. And when I told him that I will confess to Tobio, Kenma only said that whatever happens, he got my back.

He celebrated with me when Tobio said yes to date me. Basically, he became my confidant whenever I'm sad or happy. He has become the best friend that I longed for since I realized my sexuality.

But what I liked the most about Kenma, I never did once see him looked at me with pity that's why somehow, I felt relieved that he's here in Brazil with me. I can show him my weakness without holding back. That's why I'm thankful that he's with me in this downfall of mine.

"Thanks Kenma." I said before drowning myself once again in tears while trying to erase one by one in my mind all the memories I had with Tobio.

"Just next time. Pick the one who loves you first. The person who knows your worth. For now, Fly alone. Maybe someday, at the right moment, the right person will give you a proper toss without even asking for it. And you will toss to him in return." I giggled on how he compare my love lifetime with volleyball.

"I don't know, Kenma. Tobio is the first person who tossed to me properly. Who knows when will I get over him. After all it might end up the same if I still can't fight on my own." I smiled bitterly to that reality.

"Shoyo...you don't have to fight alone. Like in volleyball, you need to be a team to win right? It's the same in every relationship. If it's only you who love, then it'll be an utter failure. That's why I'm telling you, like before in high school when you keep on jumping everywhere believing a toss will come to you, when that person came in your life, jump even higher this time." Kenma said before we changed our topic.