Full Moons aren’t pretty

*more wolfstar!! This is more revolved around the fluffy aspects of their relationship, and I'm really proud of how this piece turned out.

TW: homophobia, adorable pic up lines, smut, some homophobic stuff.

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It had been two weeks since Remus and Sirius had begun dating and James and Peter could hardly contain themselves. Sirius was becoming a total bore, and they knew it had something to do with Remus. Every time they did anything against the rules they had to sneak Sirius out, for fear of Remus catching him. James was willing for two reasons. One, it was fun to sneak around under Remus' and the teachers noses, and two, he loved Remus and Sirius together.

•••

The marauders sat in the griffindor commons. Well, all but Sirius, who was with Madame Pomfrey. He had run head first into a wall after kissing Remus.

James and Peter were playing Wizard Chess while they waited for Sirius to return. Remus was cuddled into an armchair reading 'Moby Dick' quietly.

Sirius slipped inside with a grin and waltzed over to Remus, smacking down into the plush loveseat next to the armchair.

"So..." Sirius started, smirking at Remus. "How is Hogwarts prettiest boy doing today?" He asked, smiling wider when James and Peter stopped to see Remus' reaction.

"I don't know how are you?" Remus asked licking his tongue and flipping the page without looking at his now flustered boyfriend.

"I'm good." Sirius squeaked.

"Glad to hear it." Remus said absent minded.

"How does he do that?" Sirius whined. "It took me all day to think of that." James and Peter giggled and returned to their game.

"You asked how Hogwarts prettiest boy was. You were right there."

"I meant you Moony!"

Remus reddened. "You-you think I'm pretty?" He asked astonished.

"Oh for the love of all that's holy! Yea you imbecile I think you're pretty, I think you're bloody fucking gorgeous!" Sirius hollered jumping from his chair.

"Oh...That... changes things." Remus mumbled quietly. "How could you think I'm pretty? Or gorgeous, or even humane? I mean the full moon is tonight, you'd think that you guys would be reminded of my... ugly-ness. Inside and out." Remus said, staring at his shoes with shame.

"MOONY!" James shrieked. "NO SELF LOATHING ALLOWED!" He sprinted outside.

"POTTER WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" Came professor McGonagall's scream from the hallway. James didn't answer and instead returned with an armful of chocolate.

"Remember Remus. In our friendship contract between the four of us it says no self loathing! You can't be mean to yourself or we'll kidnap Sirius and make sure he can't sleep with you for a month." James growled.

Remus put his hands up in surrender. The thought of sleeping alone terrified him. Tears pooled in his eyes and he reddened.He had to bite his lip to keep from crying. Sirius glared daggers at James. James dropped the chocolate and ran to Remus.

"Oh fuck Moony! I'm so sorry! I'm so so sorry I was only kidding. I know you and Sirius have trouble sleeping alone. I was kidding I swear!" James gasped handing Remus a small wrapped up piece of chocolate. Remus cleared his throat.

"I understand Prongs. Really I do. I'm just sensitive is all, especially with the full moon being tonight. All my senses are heightened and I feel sorta sick." Remus mumbled, resting his head on the back of the couch. Sirius tried to crawl onto the chair with Remus and succeeded in almost snapping Remus in half as he grasped the chair to keep from falling off of his boyfriend. He kissed Remus once he was settled in the sick boys chair, and rested his head on Remus' chest.

"Pads I really don't like you being so close to me. Just in case somethin goes wrong." Whispered Remus, not forcing Sirius away but not quite welcoming him either.

"Moony I don't really care what you like. I'm not moving from this chair til Poppy forces me out." Sirius grumbled, clutching Remus' shirt.

"Ok." Remus said gently, trying to conceal the painful affection he felt towards his boyfriend.

The door shook and James went to see who it was, bringing in Madame Pomfrey.

"Time to go Mr. Lupin." She said softly. Remus shuddered and nodded gently nudging the bundle of blankets and cuddles on top of him.

"Can't he just have a few more minutes?" Sirius whimpered.

"I'm sorry love but we can't take any chances. You'll see him tomorrow." Poppy said assuring Sirius. Or trying to at least.

"I might..." he stopped to clear his throat as his voice cracked. "I might not get to see him tomorrow." He was trying to keep Remus oblivious from the thoughts that haunted him, but they crept in anyway, begging for a few more moments with his boyfriend.

"Sirius I'm not going to die." Remus whispered.

"I know and I'm so sorry for scaring you Moony but.." Sirius broke off again, trying to keep from crying. "But if I lose you I want to have memories."

"It'll be alright love. I'll see you in the morning." Remus assured him, standing to leave with Poppy. She let him go first and followed lose behind, bidding goodnight to the others.

•••

"Pacing won't help Pads" lily said softly. She and James were cuddled up on one of the couches by the fire, James with his feet reclined on a coffee table, and lily facing the end of the couch and resting her head on the side of his body.

"I know Lily. I know it won't help. But every fucking month he's left alone up there with no one but himself and he turns into... well that. And he has no one and he hurts himself no matter how minor it is. And yeah I get it I'm probably overwhelmed and overeacting but it's better I did that than not care. So yeah I know that pacing won't fucking help but it's about as good as I can do because I can't exactly go up there can I lily?" Sirius snarled. They both looked at Sirius wide eyed and astonished. Sirius had never snapped like that. "I'm... sorry." He said walking up the stairs.

"We should..."

"Trust me Lils. We can't do anything right now. Just gotta wait for Rem to come back." James said gently kissing her forehead.

Sirius cried. He had only ever cried two times before then. Once when his mother starved him for two weeks and another when his mother hit him for telling her he was gay. The tears soaked his pillow and he didn't sleep all night. Terror blinded his senses, adrenaline coursing through his veins as he thought about Remus.

•••

"Pads! Pads wake up!"

Sirius jolted awake to James standing over him looking scared and confused.

"Pads it's Moony." James whispered. His voice was hoarse.

•••

Sirius ran down the stairs to the commons where Lily Peter and Professor McGonagall were already waiting.

"Mr. Black, have a seat." The professor said calmly.

"What's happening?" Sirius prodded refusing to sit down.

"Please have a seat, Mr. Black." She said sternly.

"No."

James and Peter spasmed in their seats.

"Then I will leave and you can wait for your companion to limp through that door tomorrow with a clawed up face and ruined leg and he can tell you to sit YOU'RE arse down and listen to me." She hissed.

Sirius sat down. Minerva expected that. She didn't expect Sirius to start bawling. He sobbed into his hands, his entire body shaking. When he finally got himself semi-under control he sat up and glared at his professor.

"Mr. Lupin had a most dreadful experience at the shrieking shack today. He damaged his chest and leg, and clawed across one side of his face. He is alive and under Madame Pomfreys care but- MR. BLACK!"

Sirius sprinted from the commons, running to the infirmary with no care in the world except his boyfriend. He couldn't leave Remus alone like that. He'd find a way to get to him.

"Please professor. Please just let him. I'll take the fall, I'll take all his punishment just please don't make him leave Moony. You can't ask him to do that. He won't listen. You must understand that." James said tearing up.

Minerva pressed her teeth together and pursed her lips. Poppy wouldn't let Sirius in, and the boy was right. She had seen Mr. Lupins bloodied body and could completely understand his need to be with the boy. To make sure he wasn't alone. Remus had been crying as Pomfrey tried to heal him, he had screamed and shrieked as she applied salves to his tormented skin. He had begged her to tell Sirius he loved him as he writhed, sure he would die. Minerva had to leave to contain her emotions.

•••

Sirius pounded on the door, tears flooding over his eyes and spilling across his cheeks.

"I have patients sleeping you could at least- oh Mr. Black." Poppy said as she opened the door to the hospital wing.

"Please let me in. I'll do anything, I'll clean the whole place top to bottom twice, give half my blood, let you stick me with needles. Please I just need to see him." Sirius begged.

"I'm sorry Mr. Black. Visiting hours aren't until noon." She said sternly. "The only people admitted in this late are those who are actually in need of medical assistance."

Without a second thought Sirius grabbed the door and slammed it back into his head, knocking him out cold.

"Oh for the love of god." She hissed using her wand to bring him into the infirmary. Remus was shaking, the pain still rocking his body in waves. She tossed Sirius onto the bed next to Remus' bed and moved to collect some healing potions from the medical closet.

•••

Sirius woke up startled. He had knocked himself out. He rolled over and saw Remus laying there across from him, bandages wound around his wrists, legs, chest, and over his left eye all the way down to the right side of his jaw. Sirius quickly fumbled from his bed, ignoring the head rush and scrambling to Remus' bed.

"P-Pads?" Remus croaked when the brunette crawled under the covers.

"The one and only." Sirius whispered cuddling into Remus' side.

"Poppy'll never allow this." He choked, whimpering as another wave of pain shot through his eye and leg.

"I don't care. Satan himself couldn't drag me from this bed." Sirius gently traced circles in Remus' stomach. His finger traced upwards and touched the bandages.

"What happened Moony?" He asked, tears spilling over his lids. Looking at his boyfriend was proving to be heart wrenching, seeing the agony in his one untouched eye.

"I don't know, I woke up and my leg was bent backwards and my eye was bleeding and it hurt so bad pads. And all I could think about was you hearing about it and wishing you could've kept me back for the memories like you said. And I just... it hurt y'know? And everything hurts now. I'm completely shaken. I didn't know I could break limbs. Apparently it's possible." Remus said, pulling Sirius closer, burying his face in Sirius' hair and letting himself cry softly into the smooth curls.

"It's ok Moony. I'm here, I'll always be here."

"How did you get in here?" Remus sniffed.

"I bashed my head into the door and knocked myself out." Sirius grinned at Remus' less-agonizing expression.

"You...You smashed your head into a door to see me? And she brought you in?" He laughed, hard.

"Yep. And I'll ruin my brain every month if it means I can make you laugh like that. I just want the pain to go away for you Moons."

"Oh Pads... that... that's means everything to me." Remus whispered, tears flowing over. "But why?"

"I just...didn't want for you to be alone." Sirius said, tilting his head back to look at Remus. A warm smile touched the other boys lips.

"No other reasons?" He asked quietly, brushing his thumb over Sirius' bottom lip. Sirius' breath quivered, making Remus breathe a laugh.

"Maybe.... maybe I sorta... love. You?" Sirius gasped staring into the werewolf's eyes.

"Maybe I sorta love you too." Remus mumbled, pulling Sirius closer by the back of his head and pressing his lips firmly to the brunette's.

"Woah." Sirius whispered.

Poppy Pomfrey smiled warmly at the two boys, hidden in the dark shadow of the medical cabinet. Remus brushed a stray hair from Sirius eyes, kissing his nose.

"I'll kiss you sm'more in the mornin but I'm kina sleepy." Remus sighed, shifting his head to the pillow and tightening his grip around Sirius.

Poppy beamed. When Sirius drifted off as well, she snuck out from her hiding spot and pulled the curtain tight around Remus' bed, tucking them both in before blowing out the candle on their bedside and retreating to her own room.

Werewolf, boy, man. Remus had Sirius. There was no need for her to stay awake to nurse his nightmares, she knew the brunette would do just fine at that.

*Fin*