The Best Friend

I waited until Zierra had disappeared behind her door before speed walking to Lyon's room and banging on his door in a rhythm that told him it was me. I could hear him scramble and shuffle around, followed by a loud thud and a string curse words from him before he opened the door, looking slightly disheveled and out of it.

"You were sleeping," I suddenly felt bad for waking him. Sleep was touch and go in our line of work.

He rubbed his eyes for a moment before shaking his head and ushering me inside. "No, it's alright. I was just taking a bit of a nap," he looked at me and I could tell that he could see the panic I was trying to hide on my face. "Oh boy. What happened?"

I groaned and flung myself, backwards, onto his bed, covering my eyes with my arms. "I kissed her. Zierra. She was just right there and she looked so beautiful and," I huffed out a long puff of air to gather my thoughts, "I tried. I tried to talk myself out of it, I knew it wasn't a good idea, I knew it come back to bite me in the ass but I still did it anyway and now she's going to hate me."

Lyon sighed and sat next to me, smacking my legs so I would move them to make room for him but I put them back across his lap as soon as he was situated. "So, want to tell me again how there's nothing going on between you and Zierra?"

I growled and dug my heel into his thigh, eliciting another smack from him. "Fine. There's something going on between us but there shouldn't be."

"Why not?"

I removed my arm from my face and glared at him with coal black eyes. "She doesn't know what I am."

"Oh, come on, Saph you've been with other women before! What makes her different from them?"

The black faded from my eyes. "Everything, Lyon. I never wanted an actual relationship, the kind that could last, but she makes me want that. She makes me think about an actual life that is more than just the next contract or when our next shipment of produce comes in."

"I still fail to see what is bad about that. You deserve that kind of happiness."

"She's a princess. She should be with someone who is worthy of that."

"She never wanted to be royalty and you know it. You keep coming up with excuses for why you can't be with her and they all revolve around you not feeling good enough."

"Because who would actually want to be with a monstrosity?"

His hazel eyes softened in sadness. "You're not a monstrosity, Saph. You're letting what Vivian said get to you."

"This has nothing to do with my sister."

"I think it has more to do with her than you think. You were always better than her at most things. You were stronger than her, you were kinder, you were smarter, and you weren't so wild but despite all of that she still had control over you. She knew your insecurities and she played them to her advantage. You aren't a monster, Saph, she just convinced you that you were."

"You know the things I've done, Lyon, what if she finds out?"

"I didn't hold any of that against you so why would she?"

"Because you were there. You saw my change, you helped me break free of my sister and that life. She hasn't. She doesn't know what I've done, she didn't see me turn things around. She's only seen me as the tavern owning mercenary who moonlights as an assassin."

"So she knows the real you," he shrugged. "I doubt that knowing about the past you had would change how she sees you now."

"She knows my real personality but she doesn't know the real me," in a simple breath I changed to prove my point. "She hasn't seen me like this and I don't want her to."

He leaned over and smoothed a few feathers on my wings that had ruffled from being hidden for so long. "She's missing out then because this form is badass," he laughed when I sat up briefly to punch him. "I'm serious! Saph you can fly! Do you know how many people would kill for that ability? You shouldn't be ashamed of what you are."

I groaned as I removed my legs from his lap and dangled them over the bed, changing back to my human form in the process. "I'm not ashamed of what I am, Lyon, I'm ashamed of what I was made for."

He got quiet and nodded, solemnly. "Just because it's what you were born for doesn't mean it's set in stone. You've done all you could to fight against that. You've always believed that people choose their own destiny."

"If Ceil's plans come to fruition then I may not have as much say in my destiny and I don't want Zierra to be in the middle of that."

He sighed. I could tell he still didn't agree with me but he didn't want to argue about it right now either. "Then what are you going to do about that kiss?"

"It never happened."

"You can't just pretend a kiss didn't happen. Zierra is an elf, it's not like she was too drunk to remember anything."

"No but I was. We drank more after catching Malcolm and then you and I continued to drink even more once we got back."

"Saph, you also can't get drunk. On anything! We tried literally every alcohol we could get our hands on, even booze from the other races that can actually affect them. Nothing. Not even a buzz."

"Yes but Zierra doesn't know that and you're not going to tell her. As far as she will know, the booze from last night snuck up on me and my memory is hazy after you and Kari took Malcolm away."

"And what if she reminds you that you two kissed?"

"Then I'll apologize for not remembering but I doubt she would remind me," I stood from his bed and made my way to his door.

"And what makes you so sure?"

"Because she would feel bad for not noticing I was drunk, she'd worry I would think she took advantage of me being inebriated. So she would rather pretend it didn't happen than admit that it did."

"You know that if you're right about this then it only proves that you two should be together," he followed me to the door and opened it, leaning on the door as he held it open for me.

"It only proves that neither of us want to hurt the other, Lyon."

His eyes searched mine for something and he frowned, apparently not finding it. "You know I don't agree with this. And neither will Kari."

I poked him in the chest. "This will remain out of Kari's ears," I lectured. "I hear you breathed a word of it to her and I will give you the worst contracts for the next two months. I love Kari to death but she is way to interested in my love life, she needs to start focusing on hers."

He held his hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright. I will keep this between us, but you know this can, and likely will, come back to bite you later right? And you won't be able to run from it twice."

I gave him a small smile. "You worry to much."

"Some one has to 'cause Goddess knows you don't worry about yourself enough," he messed my hair up, much like I do with Jayde, and shooed me out his door. "Now go to bed, you're next in the shift to watch the new guy."

We said our goodnights and I made my way to my own room, going over my plan to pretend I didn't remember the kiss as I readied myself for bed. I stared at my ceiling and touched my lips with a sigh. As if I could actually forget about it. This will work. It has too.

Now if only I actually believed that.