Chapter 3

"Scissors, scissors..."

I was looping around the house, looking for tools; with which I was going to make my first doll. On my laptop's screen was that old lady's blog site again, which had pictures of her creating her own dolls.

"I can do this." I was telling myself. "I've never been good at arts, but I believe in myself..."

Right then, I heard someone knocking on the door. In panic, I closed my laptop and went to answer the door.

"Well, well..." my uncle was standing in front of the door. "I've brought you some food. May I come in?"

"Um... Yes, sure."

He removed his shoes and stepped in with paper bags in his hand.

"A new bakery opened at the corner with the traffic lights, so I figured we could try their stuff out, how about that!" he said with a smile, while walking into the kitchen.

"Thank you." I said, softly.

"How are you holding up today? How was school?"

"Good... I think."

"Not giving up on your studies, right, my boy?"

"No."

"Hah, great! You know, I was the second best in my class when I was at your age - but only because the first guy was a true genius!"

"I couldn't care less!" I wanted to say, but of course, I didn't say it loudly. I watched my uncle walking towards my room, and entering without bothering to get my permission.

"Wow, what a mess you've made here..."

"I was studying, so I brought down all the books." I said. That was the simplest lie I could come up with. What was I supposed to say, that I was into doll-making now and I was looking for supplies?

"I see..." he chuckled. "Either way, I won't interfere with your studying style, but don't try to live in this garbage dump for too long, eh?"

"Okay, I will clean this up." I said. When he went back out of the room, I took a deep breath. He hadn't noticed the running laptop fans, otherwise, my lies could be exposed.

"Anyway, I will leave now, your aunt will get angry if I come home too late."

"Goodbye, uncle."

"See you tomorrow, boy!"

As soon as he left and closed the door, I locked it and ran back into my room. Opening my laptop's screen, I took another look at the doll blog.

"What was I looking for just now? Oh yes, scissors! There we go!"

I grabbed the scissors from the floor and looked back at the screen.

"Hmm... I don't know if I have red fabric... Maybe I can use another color for the clothing."

I looked around my room for anything colorful that I could use. But then, I suddenly stopped.

"No, I always imagined her in a crimson dress... Other colors won't cut it, I need crimson and black."

I scrolled the blog page down to see more of the old lady's works.

"This lady sure loves working with wood..." I said to myself. "How can even I do that here? Should I start with cotton?"

I slowly turned to one of the small pillows on the floor. With the scissors in my hand, I crawled towards it and smiled involuntarily. After stopping to have a good look at it for a minute, I stabbed it and ripped it apart, turning its insides out. It was oddly fun...

Even after I got what I wanted, I kept playing with the pillow, stabbing it countless times. It was reducing my stress like nothing else could, and I was feeling a weird kind of joy doing that. If I could, at that moment, wish for anything; I would wish for infinite pillows.

I was out of breath when I stopped and reflected on what I was doing. Sitting on the ground with the scissors still in my hand, I stared at the pillow's remainders.

"I... need to stop." I said. I was starting to feel guilty for some reason...

Then that guilt was replaced by joy again. I laughed. Loudly.

"I need to do this again sometime. Never before have I felt so good... in years. Anyway..."

I crawled back to the laptop. I looked at the pictures on the screen, and back at the cotton pile I gathered.

"No, no, no..." I repeated. "I want my first doll to be very special, and I can't go easy on anything. If I want a wooden one, I will make a wooden one."

A voice in my mind was telling me that I had no idea how to sculpt wood, but I didn't mind it.

"I need to get supplies tomorrow. But if I just have a scaled model, I can start working on the clothing today. My mother had a sewing kit somewhere, of course..."

I got up from the floor and went to check my now-dead parents' bedroom. Unfortunately, my uncle and aunt had 'taken care of' the house, and a lot of stuff had been rearranged. I couldn't find anything useful there, except...

"The curtain..." I said. "The bed sheets... They are all white, I could paint them whatever color I want!"

I went back to take the scissors with me, and cut pieces off of the curtain and some bed sheets in rectangular shapes.

"Wonderful." I said. "But now I need them to be black and red..."

I looked at the clock, it read 23:45.

"I still have some time..."

I put the pieces of fabric in front of me, and started to think.

"Tomato juice? Ketchup? Do I even have those?"

Halfway to the kitchen, I stopped and thought about it again.

"No, these would stink, and still wouldn't give me the kind of red I want. I need something darker red... like..."

My eyes opened wide.

"Like blood! Exactly! Blood red!"

My own thought send shivers down my spine. I was so into it, and I definitely couldn't wait tomorrow to find some red paint. I put the scissors' cutting edge on my arm, in preparation to spill some blood.

"The scissors won't do it, and it will hurt like hell." I said. "I need something pointier... A knife could do it. A knife... Kitchen!"

I went to the kitchen and opened the cutlery drawer. From there, I grabbed the knife we usually used to slice bread. I went back to my room, and sat in front of the white fabric again.

"I wonder how much will be enough to paint it all red..." I said, with the sharp edge of the knife sitting on my left arm.