Too hard(1)

Crawling out in the night,

Trying to make it right.

All these feelings that I get,

They drain my soul, they leave me wet

With drops of water on my cheek - 

Their taste is salty, bitter-sweet.

How could I know?

What should I choose

To figure out what things I lose?

I wanna leave him, and be free,

And yet my heart keeps stopping me.

'What if no one, ever again

Will love you deeply, just as him?'

'What if you'll cry and say goodbye

To your one, true lovely guy?'

'You will feel bad, you will feel sad

For making him wish that he was dead.'

I know all that, quite very well,

And it's my soul that's gonna swell

From all the hurt I'd put him through,

From all the tears he'd shed, he'll do.

He's a good person, you should know,

But my love's not there anymore.

I tried soo hard, I really did,

But all I got were shock and fear

That I could ever hurt someone

Who only gave me love and more.

What can I do to stop myself?

How should I sacrifice my laugh?

I'll never feel truly accomplished.

I'll never feel at ease, just anxious.

I need some help, I need a hand.

I wanna run, and hide, and land

In a new world with no regrets,

To get it over as it gets.

To not feel bad or sick or sore,

Just to be happy ever-more.