The beginning of everything (1)

Have you ever thought how and when we get the burdens we now carry? If we go back and slowly look back, gathering up the debris of memories that we didn't genuinely want to remember before—the darkest part that has ever existed in us, which was already burned and charred. Now we collect the ashes again, and we return them as a complete scene that records the story of our life without covering a particular story, whether it's the most painful thing. Indeed, it is one of the most tragic things to do. When you decide to throw away all the arrows that were threatened at you, and admittedly there are still wounds inside you, but you try to cover them up and forget about them. Now you have to go back to remember how you got all those arrows.

We get all of it as we get older. Day to day, we are bound to meet more people, and sometimes those people who have a significant influence on our lives. Sometimes that's what makes some of us don't want to open up anymore. Because with us getting to know new people, it means we have to be ready to get new wounds. They say a school is a place where we learn many things, a place where we get to know many people who will inspire us a lot and a place where we will start working. But no one says out loud that a school is a place where we know depression, anxiety, drugs, bullying, sexual violence, suicidal, and many other bad things. Imagine how many souls are nearly numb. And how tragic it is when everyone displays fake smiles every day. Happiness that has disappeared as if there is no more light in the darkness. This world is full of darkness; we all created it tragically.

That day Ella decided to go back to school, even though it felt like she was unable to open her eyes, her legs were heavy to step on, and she had absolutely no intention of doing anything. She walked towards her class with a blank stare. She even ignored Daffa who had been talking beside her. What is on her mind right now is how to deal with the people in her school usually, when she has been humiliated in front of many people.

"Hi, El. Finally...you came back, I was so lonely yesterday," said Vanya, pouting her lips.

Ella only smiled faintly in response to what Vanya had just said. Without saying anything, she walked to her seat and sat there. Took out her cellphone and earphones, turned on a song that suited her mood and closed her eyes.

Daffa sighed and looked at Vanya. He knew what she was going to think.

"Is she okay?" whispered Vanya to Daffa.

"I don't think so," responded Daffa.

"HI ELLA! what's wrong with you? are you sad? hey you can hear my jokes if you want, i sure it will make you-"

"Can you stop?" interrupt Vanya.

"What?" asked David, not feeling he had done anything wrong.

"Seriously?" Vanya rolled her eyes and ignored David, who kept asking what was wrong. David never understood the situation.

"Did I do something wrong?" inquired David, who had just taken a seat beside Daffa.

"No, you just did the very right thing," Daffa replied sarcastically.

"I KNOW RIGHT! I don't understand why Vanya scolded me," said David, confused.

Daffa looked at David in disbelief, then shook his head. Definitely, there is something's wrong with David's brain.

The bell rang, indicating class would start.

"Good morning, everyone," said Parker, the physical education teacher.

"Good morning," answered several people in the class.

"okay, so this is our first meeting. I'm Parker, and I'm your physical education teacher. I want you all to get ready to change your clothes and I'll be waiting for you in the field in 20 minutes. If there's anything you want to ask, you can ask there later. Because we will start our lessons there. do you all understand? " explained Parker.

Parker nodded his head although he didn't get an answer, "I assume the answer is yes. Okay get ready all of you now."

Everyone in the class went one by one, leaving the classroom to the changing room. Ella sighed and took her clothes. Vanya waited for her and held her hand during the walk to the changing room and telling random things to Ella. Nothing Ella heard, she only smiled a few times faintly to respond to Vanya.

All class members are already in the field and ready to start the lesson. Mr Parker first explained the course, and at that moment, Ella sighed, "This will be a very tiring lesson," she thought.

What she thought was precisely correct. After finishing the lesson, she was exhausted. Her body felt very sticky because she had to run around the field.

"You know what, I really hate when I was told to run," complained Vanya who looked tired too.

"Yes! i know right, one hundred agree with you," Ella replied.

"Come on, I want to quickly change my clothes, I'm so sweaty oh my god," said Vanya and then pulled Ella to the changing room.

"I think I will just change clothes in the bathroom," said Ella when they were both in the changing room.

"What? Why?" asked Vanya, confused.

"I want to pee."

"Oh, alright. See you in the class okay?"

"Okay."

Ella walked to the bathroom. When she entered the room, she only found one person there. Ella smiled at her and then entered the last toilet and sat there for a while. She realized that she made a mistake; she shouldn't ignore her friends like that. After she was silent for a while, she took off one by one all her clothes, including her underwear because she felt so sweaty and wanted to change them. After finished, she came out and stopped in front of the mirror right next to the person she had seen while entering the bathroom.

"Did you just change your clothes there?" asked her doubtfully to Ella.

"Yes? Why?" asked Ella, she was perplexed, what's wrong with that?

"No! Shit! Listen to me and remember this. Don't ever change your clothes at the last toilet again, okay?"

"What's wrong if I change clothes there? I mean i just-"

"They have cameras there," answered her quickly, interrupting Ella.

Ella was shocked, "What?"

"I can't explain you in detail, because I shouldn't say this to you. Just be careful okay? Listen to what I said earlier," said that person bowing her head, she was scared then walked to the door about to leave the bathroom, but Ella stopped her.

"Hey what's your name?" asked Ella, but she didn't seem to want to answer it.

"At least give me your name...," begged Ella.

"I am Nora," she replied.

"Okay, thank you Nora, can i talk to you later?" said Ella with a sincere smile.

"I'm sorry, but if i do that probably they will-- never mind," answered Nora incomplete. Without giving Ella a chance to speak she immediately left the bathroom.

Ella looked at her reflection in the mirror. She took a deep breath, trying to stay calm and didn't take what Nora had just said seriously. She hoped it wasn't true. She shook her head, trying to forget all these things and walked back to class.

When the break time, Ella told her friend she was going to the cafeteria later, she wanted to go to her locker first to pick up one of her novels.

"Do you want me to accompany you?" asked Daffa, who knew that Ella didn't like walking alone in school.

"No, I'm good," replied Ella.

"No, really. I can-"

"I'm fine Daf, go to the cafeteria with them, I'll be there as soon as possible," Ella interrupted.

After that, Ella walked to her locker. She pressed the password and opened it. One sheet of photo paper fell to the floor at the same time as she opened her locker.

She was confused because as far as she remembered, she did not save the photo there. She took the photo and was really shocked when she saw that photo. She quickly read the writing on the back of the photo, "apologize to her, all of you. See you in cafetaria."

At that moment, Ella's heart was beating fast. Her trembling hands immediately kept the photo in her pocket and looked around, looking for who gave her the photo. Although far away in her mind, she knew exactly who it was.

Ella tried to stay calm and walked towards the cafeteria with a pale face and held back her tears. Her mind drifted somewhere she didn't know what to do. Ella bumped into several people because she couldn't focus. How can she be calm if someone sends a photo of her who is not wearing any clothes? Yes, it is a photo when Ella was changing clothes in the bathroom earlier. The only thing she knew that time is Nora wasn't lying. And of course, she was in big trouble.