Chapter 11

LEVI'S POV

"I know right," I replied as I grabbed both of our school bags, then paid our drinks.

"I can't walk properly, right? What happened, Levi? Did I d-damaged my b-brain already?" he asked as I helped him walked outside the bar.

He was struggling from walking so I had to help him. His white uniform was stained already, his hair was greasy, and his actions were slow and clumsy.

"Let me see," I uttered. "Difficulty in walking, blurred vision, red cheeks, impaired memory... yes, I guess."

"Jinjjayo?" Really? he asked and looked at me. He suddenly caressed my face with his both hands.

"Neomu kyeopta!" So cute! he yelled as he pinched my cheeks.

"Hey!" I shouted and removed his hands away from my face. "Are you insane?"

"Mianhae," Sorry, he barely whispered before he totally passed out.

"Ugh!"

I had nothing to do, but to carry him on my back. After all, he was like a younger brother to me, so I had to take care of him.

I left the place and started to walk back to the dorm. It was just a walking distance anyway.

"Can you walk by yourself inside? I'll just fix this lock," I asked him when we're finally in front of our room.

I turned on the lights inside, then gently removed his hands around me.

"Um... I'll go... first..." he replied, then walked with a slight stagger over to the couch.

"Tsk! What's wrong now, you doorknob?" I muttered, talking to the broken door's lock. I tried to fix it for awhile and luckily, it worked.

About to go inside and lock the door, I heard Caius suddenly shouting, making me run towards him.

He was terrified and I didn't know the reason yet. His both hands on his head, eyes closed as tears kept on falling from his eyes, and he curled himself up on the couch while yelling.

It was the first time I saw him being like this.

"Caius? Caius! What's wrong? Hey! What's happening?" I asked, dropping my bag on the floor as I grabbed him.

I was surprised, confused, and disconcerted by the unexpected actions of him right now.

"Arrgghh! Stop! S-stop... please..." he continuously yelled.

"Caius!" I shouted as I tried to calm him. I was certain that this wasn't about the alcohol, but because of something more serious.

"The r-rope... r-rope..." he whispered.

"What? What are you talking about? The rope?"

"Rope... I'm a-afraid... rope..."

He's afraid with rope?

I roamed my eyes around, trying to find the rope he was talking about. Still not sure about what's happening, I suddenly felt something rough under my feet.

It was almost under the couch, so I bent over to pick that up. It was a 7.9375-millimeter-rope. I immediately get ridded with it, hiding it inside my bag for the meantime.

"It's gone, Caius. It's gone," I whispered, then cupped his face. "Why? Why are you afraid?"

And then I learned something about him again.

"Levi?"

I turned my head to him. He had just drifted back to consciousness after he collapsed earlier.

"You're awake. How are you feeling?" I asked him as he refrained himself from lying down on the couch.

"Not so good, but I can handle," he replied, massaging his temples.

"Are you hungry? Food is ready."

"Um..."

"I cooked... for you."

A smile appeared on his face. "Thanks," he mumbled.

I heaved a sigh as I watched him. I was just sitting beside him, waiting for him to speak about what happened to him awhile ago.

"Levi?"

"Um?"

"Sorry for bothering you."

Scratching my head was my first reflex for that.

"Oh, that... um..." I mumbled. "Bothering me always is what you're good at," I said and teased him.

"Really?" he barely laughed.

Deep breaths... that's the only sound we could hear right now. I knew no matter how I tried to lighten up the situation, it's not going to happen... yet.

"That rope..." he finally said. His voice was breaking the silence.

His expression etched a story of a loneliness, a more sorrowful face I had ever seen, but somehow, it transfigured when he smile.

"Yeah... the rope. That stupid rope. Can you tell me about it? Care to share?" I asked. "But I understand if you can't—"

"It's okay, Levi," he said when he cut me off. "I think I should tell you about this—no. I should really tell you about it."

I nodded. "You okay?"

"I am."

"Okay. Alright."

He drew another deep sigh before he could be able to speak again, and I understood. Talking about the thing that fears him must be very hard.

"That rope," he started, "everytime I see a rope, I remember how cruel life was for my mom."

Mom.

I forced a smile, a bitter one. I couldn't even make my smile more genuine everytime I would hear that word.

It's not that I hate it, but I was just getting anxious because just like Caius, I also remembered how cruel life was for my mother.

"The past comes back to my head, hunting me as if I did something wrong," he continued.

"It's like a punishment for me, a lifetime punishment to something I never did. It's unfair, isn't it? All I did was to love my mother vehemently, yet why did I have to see it? That rope..." he paused as he wiped his cheek.

That tears... that face in melancholy showed how broken he was.

"That rope around my mother's neck... that rope that killed my mom, that thing brought a great fear in me. It's killing me. It's a painful souvenir from the past that always haunts me. H-how can I m-move on, Levi?"

Slowly, he looked at me. What even broke my heart was to see him crying again.

He was supposedly laughing with me, eating with me with his usual happy face, and teasing me to hell, but with his eyes looking at me so helplessly, and sobbing out his grief made me feel so bad about him. A broken heart transfigured with a funny personality.

"Caius..." I whispered as I tapped his shoulder.

"I'm t-tired..." he mumbled under his breath.

He got way too much time to be this hurt, and it's getting worse. What could I do with his broken heart? Everything was dark. Could I help him hold on for another night?

"Destructions aren't the best cure to our broken hearts. It's the progress, Caius. Overtime, it'll heal. You have me, Caius. I'll be with you throughout the process."