Eleven

I glared at my reflection, the razor in my hand, but I couldn't bring myself to raise it and get this hair off my cheeks. I huffed then let go of it, turning and grabbing my jacket. I zipped it up then slid on my sneakers, pulling the hood over my face as I left and went towards the subway. I soon got to the Citadel then went towards the Glaives area, hearing everyone training. As I walked in, I heard silence following and knew they realized who I was, but I went to Cor's office and shut the door behind me. He looked up then stared as he saw me, his eyes taking in the bags under my eyes, the beard and mustache on my face, the baggy sweat pants, the dirty hoodie that I wore, everything.

"Nyx." He breathed but I swayed and he shot up to run around the desk, catching my arm.

"Here, sit! Before you fall!" He said then I sat and he sat on the edge of his desk, looking at me.

"Crowe and Libertus said you were bad, but..." He whispered and eyed me.

"I can't stop feeling it, Cor." I whispered then noticed his brow drop, but I put my hand to my cheek again and shook my head.

"The feeling of her slapping me, I can't stop feeling it." I whispered and looked up at him, tears in my eyes.

"I-I can't even find it in me to shave, because I don't want to see where she hit me. I don't want anything, I need- I need her to forgive me-"

"I know, Nyx." He said then moved to sit next to me and grabbed my shoulder.

"You know, when they told me how you looked, I didn't believe them. To think the hero of the Kingsglaives would be taken down by a broken heart." He said then I shook my head and held it, sobbing into my hands.

"I miss her, and she wasn't even mine!" I cried then I felt his hand on my back, rubbing it soothingly.

"I know, Nyx. Trust me, I do. You gotta get better though, because you being like this isn't helping anyone." He said then I looked up at him and he sighed.

"Please, I'll have someone help you shave or-"

"Crowe, and Libs. Please, I don't want anyone else to see me." I said then he nodded.

"Alright." He said and left me, going to the platform.

"ALTIUS, OSTIUM!" He yelled then came in, Crowe and Libs here a few moments later.

"Come on, Nyx, let's get you home-" I shook my head then looked at Crowe.

"She was there, my chair still smells like her shampoo. I-I don't want to go back, I can't smell lilies and roses again. Please." I whispered then she nodded.

"Use my suite here at the Citadel." Cor said then Libs nodded, grabbing my arm and helping me leave.

"Nyx?" I glanced at Miles then his eyes went wide as he saw me.

"You look like shit-"

"Move, Miles." Crowe said then he moved and we went towards Cor's suite here.

~*-*~

I blankly stared at the wall as she carefully shaved my beard off, though Libs was getting me fresh clothes.

"There we go, all done." Crowe whispered and smiled.

"Why don't you hop into the shower, hmm? We'll be right out here." She said then I nodded and she left the bathroom, letting me get undressed. I turned the water on then got in, hugging myself as my tears mixed with the water.

Crowe's POV

I heard Nyx crying again then felt my heart fall more as I looked at my hands, which were still wet from cleaning the shaving cream off his face.

"Is he in the shower?" I looked at Libertus as he came in then I nodded and he stepped into the bathroom, setting the clothes on the counter. As he came over, I stood and met him halfway, though he caught my hips.

"Libertus, we can't tell him." I whispered and he nodded, laying his head on mine.

"It'll hurt him more if he finds out about us, especially if Sorren is really too far away from him." He said then I raised my hands, holding the sides of his neck.

"Please, please promise we'll tell him when he's better." I whispered and he nodded, dipping his head to softly kiss me. I moaned then hugged his neck, feeling his arms wrap around my waist and pull me against him. I slid my fingers into his hair then we both looked as we heard something hit the ground by the bathroom door, seeing Nyx's dirty clothes on the ground as he stood there watching, tears in his eyes.

"Nyx-"

"So while I was suffering because I fucked up one of the few amazing things in my life, you two were busy fucking each other?!" He sneered then I got Libs to let go and went towards Nyx.

"Nyx, please, we didn't mean to make you feel horrible-"

"Horrible? You didn't do that, Crowe. Gods, I'm so happy that you two are finally together, but you couldn't have picked a worse time to tell me!" He said then I realized. He wasn't angry we were together, he was upset that he didn't also have that right now with Sorrentina.

"Nyx." I whispered then went over and he hugged me tightly, crying into my shoulder.

"I want her back, Crowe!" He cried, but I shook my head and ran my hand up and down his spine.

"I know you do, and I know who can help us, okay? You just gotta try to trust us that we know what we're doing. First though, we gotta get you better so that you can be the Nyx she loves. Okay?" He nodded then I let him go as Libertus came over.

"You're not mad, right?" He asked, but Nyx shook his head and hugged him.

"I could never be mad at you, Libertus. You finally grew a pair, you got what I always knew you wanted, but I just need to get myself together." He said then I smiled as we spent the evening talking to the prince to try and get Sorrentina to forgive Nyx.