Epilogue

Even though I hate every bit of it I still have to face it. I hate noise but somehow I'm surrounded by noise, well very loud one.I am lazy but I have responsibility to take. And when I feel like killing someone but I had to smile at them.

Why the God still keep me alive? I don't know. Though I heard that god has created everything and everyone for a reason. And one must fulfill that reason …. That is his or her destiny.

Do I believe that? Maybe I do. But still can't figure it out what's my specialty at?

Come on, everyone has something that he is good at, right? They have something they like to do… what was it called again? Umm,,, hobby? Passion? Whatever the name is, I have none. I'm not kidding. I really have none. I hate everything, not just everything I still can tolerate some.

Sure I'm an asshole, who's been deceiving her family…huh just family? I've been deceiving myself.

I fall in trouble easily, but every time I fall in trouble, God, Yes none but God always help me through it. But look how selfish I am. I've never thanked him for that, at least from my heart.

Is this the revenge? Maybe…

Yes I'm in trouble, a very serious one. How should I say? I'm failure but I can't accept my fail. I've no face to make but I have ego. I'm not a hard worker but I expect the best. I'm careless but I prefer it to be perfect.

Fuck….

I brought it to myself, still have no remorse and also never felt guilty. What an ass.

But I do care, not about anything but my family. Maybe I would if not… they aren't rich one but middle class. They wasted a lot of money on my education whenever I needed it. Though they are strict about my education they gave me freedom. Love, maybe I'm lacking a bit. Because they don't show it, but inside they all care. I know it. My failure brings them shame and my success brings them glory. They've wasted their half of life investing on me.

And here I'm on the edge of the rooftop standing from 10th floor from the ground. Thinking, will I able to die? Or will just be paralyzed but alive? Well I want to die, in one shot. Cause being disabled after trying to commit suicide is really embracing also waste of money.

"Hey god, I do believe in you. Maybe never thanked you for your mercy, but this time I just want to die! Please, grant my wish, because I just can't ever look on their eyes after they have found out about everything.so, please don't keep me alive. I'm just a piece of trash that can't even be recycled."

Well while I was saying my almost last prayers…. I didn't notice that somebody came and shouted "Neo"

God is that you calling me? Well that's a familiar voice. I looked back seeing the neighborhood aunty was trying to approach me. She was so fat that it looks kinda funny. "Come back child .." she was shouting…

How emotional sense… I'm touched! Heh here I was hoping some good looking prince will save me… instead it's the mom of the good looking prince came for my rescue.

I should retreat… if I do��.. Fuck... I lost my balance…

" NEOOOOOO...…"