Chapter twenty-six

Somehow, Emily still has the energy to run around the top deck, even after swallowing two slices of cake after a rather large dinner (I guess all that sugar made her crazy, but Charlie suggests otherwise).

"I've heard that wind causes irrational behaviour," he says randomly, holding up a hand like he's in class, answering a question.

We all turn to him.

"Seriously?" Lilli questions.

"You don't believe me?" Charlie points at Emily. "Ask her."

It's not just Emily who's acting slightly insane, I'm starting to feel somewhat strange too. But instead of butterflies flying like when I'm thinking about Harry, someone's blowing a million little bubbles in my tummy, and the popping does not feel pleasant. But I'm lucky that both Charlie and Lilli are competitive people, because they ask me to start recording their points.

"We'll do the whole course, and a point is earned every single time you hit the golf ball with the club. The aim is to end up with the least points, so, whoever ends up with the least points when we're done —"

"Gets a kiss from the loser!"

I swear I see Lilli's cheeks darken, but she covers it up by grabbing two clubs, passing one to an unsuspecting Charlie. "On the cheek."

There's not much more to see than the sea and the sky and the amenities on the top deck of this ship, but I have to admit, it's a beautiful sight. What makes tonight so much more special are the bright smiles on my friends' faces. The small smiles I'm getting from Harry gives me hope that I'll get to see them again. And however selfish the thought, I want him to smile because of me.

I know I'm supposed to be paying attention to Charlie's and Lilli's putt putt competition, but the fairy lights that twinkle along the rails are so much more magical when you pay attention to them. They're like multicoloured stars, and I can't help but tilt my head back to compare them to the pinpricks of light shining through the clouds above me.

"HEY! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" yells Lilli.

Harry and I share a confused glance. I think he was in Neverland as much as I was.

"Do what?" Charlie asks sneakily.

"Ugh," Lilli replies, then turns to Harry. "Add a penalty of three points onto Charlie's scoreboard," she instructs.

"Woah, woah, woah," Charlie exclaims. "Three whole points?! Lilli, you don't wanna give me a kiss that bad?"

"You think this is about the kiss? Oh, no. Not about the kiss! I want to win!"

I find it somewhat amusing to watch this pointless squabble play out, but then my fingers are tugged on by warm fingers, which I guess have been kept insulated within pockets for a while. It's Harry, I know it is, but I can't help but feel a gentle jitter skip down my spine.

He seems to know where he's going, because he leads me right towards the back of the ship, where there are barely any lights. It's cold and slightly eerie, but the warmth of Harry's hands makes me smile to myself.

"Sit or stand?" he asks me.

I chuckle at the question. "If you want a wet stain on your pants for the rest of the night, let's sit," I tease, and he turns away to hide a smile.

When I'm done laughing, I'm aware enough to realise that the darkness here is perfect for watching the stars. They're so much brighter now, beaming down. I can even make a few imaginative shapes by joining them in my mind. I much prefer them like this, instead of them hardly visible, snuffed out by the artificial light made by humans.

"I saw that you were looking at the fairy lights," Harry tells me, beside me. I only notice now that he's been looking at me this entire time. "And then the stars. But I'm sure they were too hard to see back there. They're clearer here, where the lights aren't darkening them." Now it's my turn to stare at him. He turns to me. "Don't you think?"

I smile. I'm about to reply, but suddenly he's turning away, clearing his throat, rubbing his mouth with his warm hand like he wasn't supposed to say anything.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing," he replies, but it's clearly not nothing. "My lips are chapped."

"Oh."

During this silence, I hear Lilli and Charlie continuing to argue in the background, as well as Ben calling out jokes to try and make Emily laugh and slow her down so he can catch her in their game of Tip.

"Can I say something, Harry?"

He nods.

I take a deep breath in. "You're really sweet." I turn to him, expecting a smile, but I feel that his expression shows that he's slightly horrified. Is he allergic to affection or something? "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to —"

"No, I'm sorry," Harry says softly. "I just —"

"—You don't have to tell me anything, Harry," I tell him. I really don't want to pressure him into telling me anything. I'd never delve into something so private, especially if it's important to him. If I ever become so significant in his life, I know he'll tell me on his own. "Let's just look at the stars," I say as brightly as I can. "It'd be a shame to miss 'em."

So then we're both turning to the heavens.

"I'm going to have to ask you and your friends to leave," a voice says nearby.

Harry and I glance at each other, and then in the direction of the voice.

"Huh? Why?" Charlie's voice.

The guy who replies sounds a little nervous. I guess that Charlie's height makes him a little intimidating at first sight. "Well, um, it's getting late. I'll have to clean up here soon," he explains, less firm this time.

Harry turns, then extends his hand to me for a fraction of a second, but I'm a moment too late, and he takes it back. I can't help but regret not taking it and holding it. Not just for warming me up, but maybe even to help Harry warm up to me.