Chapter 1- Graduation Day

"Susan rose Collins" Principle announced my name that was when I realized this was actually happening. I was graduating.

I made my way to the stage silently, took my diploma and made my way back to my designated seat. Nobody forced me to smile or to give a speech for which I was more than thankful . Now all I wanted was to get back to my cousin and nephew. I watched Jaimi giving her little speech, a small smile made it's way to my lips. I was truly happy for her and how I couldn't be, she and her family was there for me at my lowest. She waved at me to come to her where her mother and older brother Jake were waiting with a camera. I was least interested in taking pictures but well it's Jaimi we are talking about. She's a photogenic so I forced my feet and walked up to her, plastered my best fake smile I could and posed for the photo.

"Su you alright? You are crying!." Jaimi asked concerned.

Well this was unexpected. I tried, I tried my best to keep these tears to myself till I get back home but it didn't worked.

"Yeah I'm fine. It's just we're graduating and it's kinda overwhelming" a sad smile made it's way to my face.

Jiami held my hand and gave me a reassuring squeeze. She knew what was bothering me. "You know I'm always there for you." with that said she asked her mother to take us home.

This was what I loved about her. She always knew what to do and what I want. At times like this I thank God for giving me her as my best friend.

We made our way to Beth's car. I was just about to get inside when Jake turned me around to face him and hugged me. And I broke down. I didn't know that I was just a hug away from completely breaking down.

"They are gonna be so proud of you." Jake murmured in my ear and gave me a last hug before taking passenger seat. Jake was two years older than me and James(Jaimi) but he has always been my good friend and of Chase as well. Always looking out for me and for that I'm grateful. Honestly I'm thankful for all three of them- Beth, James and Jake. Beth's a strong woman, her husband left her when she was pregnant with James and Jake was of just a year old. That was when she shifted next door to us and took the responsibilities as a single parent. My dad always loved James and Jake as his own. And that was the reason they are almost family and me and James grew up together and became best friends. I got inside the car having millions of thoughts going inside my mind. Whole drive was silent, just what I needed. Although the silence was deafening, nobody tried to talk. They knew me too well.

Just in about 10 minutes we reached home and I sprinted inside the house and went directly to my room, locked myself and cried. Cried for everything, the lose, loneliness, pain. Just everything. I don't know for how long I cried or was locked in my room until Sienna knocked on my door. I stood up from the floor and went to bathroom to check my appearance. I stood in front of the mirror and the reflection I saw was not me, it was of a broken and lost girl. I had bags under my eyes due to lack of sleep. My eyes and nose were red 'coz of crying. I washed my face and ran my hands through my hair and prepared myself to face Sienna and Amy. And I was correct, right outside my room's door stood a fuming Sienna and a concerned Amy.

"Whoa people give someone a little time." I said putting the most innocent expression on my face as possible. Nope! Not working, Zilch.

"What the hell do you think you were doing inside your 'locked' room for past three hours." Sienna said emphasizing the word locked.

"Um.. I um was a little tired form the graduation ceremony you know so I um decided to take a little nap." I lied hoping to convince them.

"You sure sis?" Amy asked with a sad expression. Well this made my heart swell.

"Yup." was all I could say.

"Amy go check on Ash and you come with me." Sienna ordered making her way inside my room. Amy did as she was told and I was mustering courage to go inside for the part I was dreading to face.

"What's taking you so long Su, come inside this instant." Jeez someone's pissed.

"Okay before you start giving me a lecture I just want to say that I missed them today, like a lot." after hearing this her featured softened and she opened her arms ready to engulf me in a big hug which was appreciated and I cuddled in her arms.

"I know and I'm sorry dear. I know you miss them but you can't just lock yourself in your rooms for hours like this. Do you know how much me and Amy were worried about you and you didn't even listened when we called your name when you entered the house." She said soothing me, running her hand in my hair. I feel a little guilty but I needed that time.

"I'm sorryyy. I didn't mean to worry either of you, I'm sorry." I murmured in her arms, sobbing.

"Oh child don't cry. If they would be here they would have been so proud of you and they are proud of you Su for your bravery and for everything. You are a very strong girl and I'm proud of you for understanding your responsibilities. And I'm always here for all three of you. Now, you should really go talk to Amy!."

"Oh yeah I really should go. And thank you Sienna. For everything." I said wiping my face, meaning every word. I made my way downstairs to living room where Amy was.

I was about to say something when I noticed Amy sleeping peacefully on the couch. I didn't like the idea of her sleeping on the couch but I also didn't wanna wake her up so silently brought her a blanket from her room and carefully put the blanket on her fragile frame. I made a mental note to apologize to her tomorrow. Just when I was about to peck her forehead my stomach grumbled. Knowing that I haven't ate anything since morning, I sighed. What a big day!

Before Sienna finds out I should eat. I went to the kitchen and checked oven. And as usual Sienna kept my plate of dinner in the oven. I took it out grabbed a bottle of water and went to my room. Before going in my room I checked in on Ash. I carefully walked inside his room which was filled with his little snores. I smiled to myself and gave a quick peck on his forehead and went to my room. Quickly I changed into my PJ's and opened my laptop to watch something while eating and as usual I ended up watching FRIENDS. Tomorrow's gonna be tough long day as well.

Just when I was drifting off to sleep I heard faint cries in my room coming from my phone. It might be my mind playing tricks with me. Nope it's not. The sound was coming from baby monitor. The moment it clicked my mind I sprinted to Ash's room. When I entered his room Sienna was already there lulling him to sleep. What would I do without her!?

I stayed there standing against the door frame watching him sleeping. When Sienna stood up from his bed, I walked out with her.

"Thank you. I don't know what would I do without you." I said, whispering my thoughts.

"It's fine, I'll always be here. You should sleep too now. You need it!" With that she made her way to her room downstairs patting my shoulder.

I need it. These might just be three words but they held a deeper meaning which Sienna knows. She understands. She has witnessed all the sleepless night I had in past few months. All the pain and nightmares. All the pills I had to take. She knows it all and well.

With these thoughts I closed my eyes to let tiredness engulf me.