Chapter 21

The food smelled good, but she didn't have an appetite. She went to get up and get some juice, but Jesse reached out for her. She withdrew from his hand, shrinking into the chair. He sighed and got up. He poured a glass of juice for her and brought it back to her.

"You need to eat," Jesse said as he went back to feeding Christian.

Fearing what else he may do, Renee pushed the food around on the plate, taking a bite here and there. She ate about half the plate before she couldn't force herself to eat anymore. Jesse fixed himself a plate and once he was done eating, he cleaned everything up. He took Christian into the living room and put him in his playpen. Then, he came back for her.

"Now, tell me what's going on between you and Patrick."

"I already told you last night. I told you there was nothing going on between us. You didn't believe me then, so what difference does it make now?" Renee said as she looked at Jesse with a cold stare.

"Why did he keep touching you? Why did you take off in the park? He left after you did and I saw you two together. Did you do that to meet up with him?" Jesse asked as he felt his anger surfacing again.

"You never let me go out without you. I just wanted to walk around and have a few minutes to myself. I didn't know it was Patrick that had grabbed me until I turned around. I told you all of this. Why are you acting like you don't know? I told you that he wanted us to switch with him and Rebecca. I told him no. I was uncomfortable at the party, but I didn't want to ruin it. It doesn't matter, because you don't believe me anyway. The more I tried to tell you that I didn't do anything wrong, the more you raped me," Renee said as the tears stung her eyes again.

Jesse stood up and pulled her out of the chair. She wouldn't scream, but her body tensed. She was waiting for the blows to come, or for him to force himself on her again. He wrapped his arms around her instead and pulled her against him. He stroked her hair.

"I'm sorry. I haven't had a blackout rage in a very long time. Seeing you with someone else enraged me. The alcohol just fueled that rage. I know you aren't happy with me and I just thought you had found a way around leaving but could still be with someone else."

Renee was taken off guard by Jesse apologizing. He had never apologized to her before when he did something like this. She didn't relax. It made her angry. Did he think that apologizing to her was going to fix this? Her hatred for him came back full force. She had to get away from him. She had to find a way to talk him into letting her have a job so that she could save her money and run away. She would call the number Kevin had and try to tell him what was going to happen. She couldn't live like this anymore.

Jesse pulled back and looked at her. She wouldn't even look at him and her body was still tense. Her hands were balled into fists. He cupped her chin and made her look up. The look he saw in her eyes was pure hatred. He ran his thumb across her lips and she turned her face away from him.

"So, we are back to square one, I guess," Jesse said.

"We were never away from square one. I hate you and that has never changed. I hate it when you touch me. I hate that you keep me here. If it weren't for Christian, I think I would have taken my own life a long time ago. Anything is better than being here with you," Renee spat.

Jesse felt his anger rise. His temper had always been his biggest downfall. He had tried changing for Renee as he had truly come to love her. He let go of her and walked away so he could get his anger in check. He didn't think she would actually kill herself because she wouldn't leave Christian. But, he wondered if she would if he kept going the way he was. She might not have cared for him before, but at least she had responded to his touch. Now, even that was gone.

For the rest of the day, Renee felt like she was just going through the motions of what she normally did. She was slow to move and found her body ached worse when she moved in certain ways. Jesse kept trying to help her, but when she jerked away from his touch or tensed up when he came in the room, he would stop trying to help her.

When her phone went off, she ignored it, but Jesse didn't. He picked it up and looked at the message. She had not been able to lock her phone so he could look at it whenever he wanted. She had nothing to hide so she didn't worry about it. She saw his face grow dark as she had turned to put a dish in the cabinet. Unsure of what he was reading, she tried to act like nothing was wrong. He brought the phone over and set it on the counter in front of her, pressing his body into her back.

"Either you get rid of this guy or I will," Jesse said, his breath tickling her ear.

Renee was confused. She picked up her phone and saw Rebecca's number on her text message, but she knew the message wasn't from her. It read, 'I hope you have thought about my offer. I really would love to slip myself inside of you. I think we could have a lot of fun together.' Renee shivered as she thought about what could happen because of that text. Jesse took her shiver as something else besides fear.

"Does the thought of that turn you on, Renee?" Jesse whispered.

Renee turned towards him and he pressed his body fully against hers, pressing her into the counter. He placed his hands on either side of her body so she couldn't go anywhere. She had been here before and she didn't like it. She had been pretty compliant for almost a year. She had really just started going to the mommy and me classes about 4 months ago. She had made friends with some of the moms in the group, but Rebecca hadn't really been one of them. She had only met Patrick twice when he had picked Rebecca up. And she wasn't even attracted to Patrick. Hell, she didn't even want to have sex with Jesse. Hadn't he figured that out by now?