Sick

*2 weeks later*

Suga's concert got more and more packed. He had more work and work. I had more and more free time but not with him.

I had nothing to do today but listen to my parents argue. I took out my sketch book and started to draw. I said in my head "I think I should tell Suga every problem that I have."

I wanted to leave this prison and just go do my own thing. My mother came in my room angry and said "What are you doing?! Painting again?!"

I froze in my spot and got scared. She got my paint and threw it all over the floor. Some splashed on my face and almost everything around me. She ripped my sketch book pages in half and threw them on the floor.

I thought I would throw up as it hurt to see my drawings destroyed and everything else. She came and attacked me. She started to pull my hair and hit me.

My blood boiled up as she left like nothing happened and expected me to be ok with everything she did. I didn't even clean myself up as I could see the sketch paper absorbing the paint from the floor, infront of me. I hadn't been attacked like this in a few months and here she goes again. I wanted to cry as anger took over me. I didn't like to cry as I felt weak but I couldn't do nothing.

My sister gasped as she came in and sat next to me. "It's ok I'll give you my school supplies." She said.

I lied to her as I said "It's ok my friend has my other paint stuff."

My sister smiled and said "Ok just tell her to give them to you."

I nodded and said "I will. Now go before mom comes and yells at both of us."

My sister said "She's just mad because she says dad cheated on her again."

I chuckled and said "They're crazy."

She left and I was left alone.

I could feel my cheek twitching and burning hot. Well most of the places where she hit me felt hot. I hardly got bruises because whenever I got angry I didn't really feel nothing until afterwards. It got dark outside and my father wasn't even home.

I whispered "What a cheater. I don't even know why he comes back here. I don't even know why she accepts him back here."

I started to cry. Usually, I felt angry at first then I got emotional.

*Tap Tap*

I heard a noise from my window and I felt my heart beat go crazy when I saw him. "Oh no! I whispered.

I whipped my tears but I rubbed paint in my eyes. My eyes started to burn like hell. I blew air with my hands but it felt worse. I opened the window and turned away.

Suga whispered "What happened?! Are you ok?!"

I couldn't resist in crying when I saw him. I ran to him and silently cried. Suga hugged me tight and said "I know you missed me but I didn't know this bad."

I wanted to laugh a little big but everything hurt physically and emotionally.

I opened my eyes and the pain started to fade from my eyes. I saw his white t-shirt and whispered "Sorry."

Suga smiled and said "Don't worry but what happened."

I nodded my head sideways and said "I don't-"

Suga said "Did they steal or they just hate you?"

I took a seat on my floor as my bed was still wet from the paint. Suga raised an eyebrow and took a seat on the paint.

"I don't know if that will come off your butt." I said.

Suga said "I don't care. I care about you."

I let out tears as he said that. I always wanted my parents to say that but they never did. All they said was that they regretted in having me.

Suga said "Your still going to deny your sad huh?"

I nodded my head.

Suga sighed and said "Come with me."

I said "I can't. My dad isn't even home."

Suga said "What? It's already late. Did you call the cops?"

I chuckled as he didn't understand or know.

Suga said "Oh you know where he's at? Don't worry then."

I looked at my paint again on the floor and wanted to give up so bad. I looked at me and my sister picture.

"I'm here for you." I said in my head.

Suga started to clean up and I said "Don't."

Suga looked at me confused and said "What? Why?"

I said "Can you leave?"

Suga raised an eyebrow and said "Your acting like that day you almost blacked out. Your not ok and I need to know what's wrong. Who did this? You know don't you?!"

He stood up and said "Tell me!"

I quickly said "Be quiet."

Suga said "Tell me then."

"Are you threatening me now?" I said with anger in my voice.

Suga said "You won't tell me so I guess I am."

I looked away and said "Leave now."

Suga said "No not until you tell me."

I heard my father's truck drive in the parking lot. My eyes widen and I said "You need to go now I'm not playing."

Suga said "Tell me."

I said "Suga get out I'm not kidding."

Suga said "No now tell me. Why are you scared? Does he-"

I pushed him towards the window.

I said "If you don't leave then your not my friend anymore."

Suga said "I don't think we were ever friends because friends tell each other everything."

My heart broke but it was true. Me being scared that I was going to get caught any minute with Suga in my room, was stronger at the moment and I said "Your right we were never nothing."

Suga looked pissed and he got out. I relaxed as he left but I was scared that maybe I lost him forever. "No he will come back." I whispered to myself.

The light from the street was the only light coming in my room. It was pretty dark anyways. Yelling and shouting was the only thing I could hear. Good thing my sister had a very heavy sleep.

*Next Morning*

I woke up with half my face swollen and my eyes. My body was in pain and my heart too. I looked around and saw my dried paint every where.

I got up ready for school and dropped my sister off at her school. I covered myself up and waited in the car. It was time for me to go to class and Suga never came. He must me working I thought but if he did leave forever then that's fine too.

Actually, days went by and he didn't come back. I need to apologize I thought but then I didn't. I can't go and apologize to him. He will want me to tell him the truth and I can't. It's for the best if we just go our separate ways. I walked by the cafeteria and headed to my car when I heard Suga's name on tv.

"Suga is finally dating! Congratulations to them both. The lucky girls name is Jennie!" The reporter said on Tv.

"Not my Jennie, right?" I asked.

The reporter said "She's going to graduate this year as a business women." They showed her picture on Tv.

I widen my eyes and thought "There has to be an explanation, right? No wait it doesn't matter. It's best he stays with her. Jennie is a great girl and I'm happy for them both."

I headed to the car with a smile and said "I finally got rid of Suga."

I got home and started to cook for myself. I felt so much peace in my heart. I felt like I wasn't holding anyone back anymore. I knew I would never make him happy but I didn't want to let him go. I didn't want to hurt him but I sort of did. My mother would kill him if she ever knew I still kept contact with him. I broke my phone and got a new one.

*More days past*

I was getting used to the silent house and my lonely room. I didn't have paint and I didn't get on social media. It was like if I didn't have a phone and I knew if I got on it my heart would sink a little. The longer I slept in my room the more I lost myself and I didn't mind.

*More days past*

I was in class and didn't even speak anymore. I was doing the same boring routine get up for school, do homework, eat, shower, sleep, pick sister up, and sleep. I was eating less and less each day. I was losing myself more and more.

I woke up to a fever and drinked medicine. I waited for my parents to come home as I felt worse.

"I'm not feeling well." I said to my parents with a weak voice.

My father said "We don't have money to take you to the doctor. Just drink medicine and you'll be fine."

My mother said "I tell you many times to take care of yourself because we don't have money! Go drink some pills and you'll be fine"

I got some pills and drinked them. I went to my room and just threw myself on my bed. "I think I'm going to die." I whispered. My lungs hurt more and more as time went by. My bones hurt so much when I moved and I was shaking so much.

*Next Morning*

I drove my sister to school and she said "You don't look ok."

I smiled and said "I will be fine. I just need to wait for mom and dad to get money."

She got out the car and I started to shake so bad. I could hardly breathe and I drove home. I felt colder and colder as I tried to stick the key in the door but I kept shaking so much.

"Relax" I said as I sticked the key inside. I threw my bag on the ground and walked to my room slowly. I got on my bed and covered myself with three blankets and hoped for the best.

It was afternoon already and my mother said "Come and eat."

It had been days that I stopped eating as it hurt to breathe and I didn't care anymore.

She came in my room and saw how pale I was. "What is wrong with you?" She asked like I never told her I was sick.

My father came in and said "Get up you lazy head!"

I closed my eyes as I saw them so small and felt colder.

My mother took the blanket off me and said "It's so hot in here and your in pajamas!"

My father said "Are you that sick? Fine lets go."

I don't know how I got up but I did. We picked up my sister first. I was shaking like a jello as we drove there. I literally thought I wouldn't make it.

My sister was all scared and I said "I'm ok. I'm just cold."

My sister asked "Why? It's so hot outside."

"I'm sick." I said with a fake smile.

We got to the clinic and right away I was given five shots. They put a breathing machine over my nose and I fell asleep.