What are you ?

As it was already too late to drive back home, we decided to stay in an inn for a night. Fortunately, we found one nearby and obtained three rooms. Me with Kitsune, mom with my personal maid and lastly the three guards shared one big room. At first there were many arguments regarding the room division because of mine and mom's noble status, but in the end they let me and Kitsune sleep together and in return my mom with my maid since the little boy was still scared of the others. After that we went on our own ways.

Once Kitsune and me entered in our respective sleeping place, I lay down on my soft bed and then sighed loudly. He who stood behind me just watched it silently. I didn't see his face right now as I closed my eyes a bit, but I could imagine him being blank, loss of emotions. We both were exhausted and we both knew it, yet we also knew that this won't be the end here. After a short rest I sat up and meditated. I soon shifted my focus on my mysterious companion before me and said, " Before they could reach for our room, we should immediately make up a story for you." I expected that they would come for an explanation which I naturally owed them.

During our search for our stay my mom, maid and guards sometimes took short glimpses of my new friend and I knew that they had questions regarding that. No only was his appearance unusual, but he also had fox ears and tails. I didn't know if they could see them, nevertheless I wouldn't take this possibility down. Yet.

Even though they could ask me at that moment, they decided to stay quiet which I was so grateful for. I felt slightly guilty, that's for sure.

So at that time, when I finally had the courage to talk, I was stopped midway when Kitsune suddenly pulled me from behind. Turning around, my heart was immediately shaken. As fast as my previous confidence came as fast was it also gone for good when I saw his shaken fingers, his upper lip being bitten and his nervous eyes.

Were you so scared to the point that you wanted to cry ? That was my thought. In the end I also kept quiet during the whole way.

In the corner of my heart I hoped that the ability to see his animal side was in my blood, the Ainsworth blood. Thus I hoped for my mom to confirm this hunch by casually asking her. But who was I kidding ? How should I ask her that ?

Still it would be a really big help to search for clues about his " past " identity with the others.

The possibility that he just had amnesia forgetting his previous life ? He was too young to have that. Perhaps.

But if it was not, who had raised him ? Living alone on the streets as a baby was like signing up for your own death. Many possibilities, but one was correct.

From the looks of it he didn't resist and followed us obediently at that time. In his position I would have escaped. Not because he was scared being seen with his appearance, but just simple because we were strangers for him. In the end he just made me confused. My mystery boy. That I would call him from now on. I shook my head upon this idea. I must be pretty exhausted and delusional right now.

" Just what should I do with this boy ?", I thought tiredly.

I understood that he couldn't easily trust someone considering his past experiences. In addition to that, he would be afraid for possible consequences too, therefore I didn't feel surprised he hid "them". Sexual harassment, kidnapping, experimenting, killing and more. If I was him, I also would be careful with my decision. That was what I learnt here first hand too. Just reminiscing the past days caused me want to cry, for real. Like me he also needed some time to heal. In a sense we were almost no different from each other. The only difference between us would be that I died in the past because of my carelessness and he not. But here he was following a complete stranger.

Just remembering the past let me feel some tightness in my chest. I slowly breathed in and out with closed eyes. As soon as I opened them I redirected my focus on the boy and asked myself quietly, " Still what about me ?"

" What do you mean ?", he suddenly replied in confusion. I immediately hid my mouth with my hand. " How could I say that loudly ?", I thought in shock. I would like to retaliate, but his serious eyes implicitly told me : "NO" . I gave up.

With a sigh I answered,

" No, I meant that we had to explain my mom, Mari and the others about you. But we had to make up a story. It wasn't a lot there to tell. We only had to tell them that you lived in the streets and you lived alone. You are also 9 years old … perhaps. Right ?" I hoped that he took it.

" …Yeah", he said with a raised eyebrow and crossed arms, " but this still didn't answer my question before. Just what did you mean with " What about me ?" "

I tried to direct the theme in a different way, however it didn't work. He was more intelligent than I thought. Come to think of it, his way of talking also was quite unusual. It would be rather expected from a person at least in its teenage years than from a nine year old child. Was he really that old as I believed ? We weren't sure about his age as he himself also didn't know his own, according to him. He already lived in the streets since he was small, so I wasn't surprised. Still these facts made me quite dizzy.

Already tired of this endless routine of confusion, I just admitted defeat and said, " I just asked myself, why you actually trust me ? " The boy blinked. Short silence passed between us. Suddenly he began to play with his fingers while looking away from me.

I also stayed quiet, but I knew this won't go anywhere, so I finally suggested, " How about I could ask my family if they saw your tails and ears ? I think it happened to be in our blood. "

Like an explosion, the boy turned his head towards me out of the blue, with his hand balled to fists and angrily shouted," How could you say this ? Even though I trusted you a little. We agreed on this. End. " Although I should be saddened about his words, I felt happy from the bottom of my heart. The reason was these small words.

" You trust me a bit ?"

Seemingly remembering his own words, he suddenly became flustered and stuttered," T-TRUSTED , N-No. My feeling were just … in chaos, yeah. Right. Why should I trust you ? " Turning his head away from me again.

Even so I was so sure that this little boy had long lost his faith in humanity, he still had some sparks of hope, especially proving when he hugged me tightly. A good step. If I continued like this, he would surely open up on his own. It was already a wonder that he didn't push me away.

When would he ever trust someone again if not now ? Perhaps he could become my companion in this world who shared a similar pain of lost trust. That was also the reason why wanted to adopt him. A small wish.

All of the sudden a knock interrupted us. We both looked at each other nervously. It came. I slowly breathed in and out and then said loudly, " You can enter."

So without hesitation the door opened and revealed the rest of my group. They had serious expressions on the face. As soon as they filled the room my mom was the first to speak.

"Now can you explain me who this child is ? ", my mum asked with her crossed arms.

I just nodded slowly and took a quick glance at Kitsune who was beside me. Then I turned my gaze back to the others.

Soon I explained "our" version of his story. The fact that he lived alone in the street, that he endured many hardships because of his appearance and that he just happened to find me while I was lost. And luckily, they believed it. I hoped so. As these were all truths, except for some missed parts, it was easy to tell them "earnestly" .

" So this happened ", Maximillian was the next to talk, " But I'm still confused how he could look like the king 500 years ago. The king from Xenon kingdom. It is still surprising ." Like him I as well didn't know the reason.

" Then we should keep him close to us, as we need to find some more information. We need to protect him too ", my mom said, " We have to contact the royal family for assistance. Especially, since this will cause conflict with the branch family from Xenon family." When she suggested this, the group, including me, looked at our mysterious companion. Uncomfortable as it was for him, he just looked down to the floor.

" Anyway this will be our plan. Tomorrow morning we should leave", my mom commanded after we turned our head away from him.

But before they could leave, I panic-stricken stopped them by asking, " Mom, do you believe in beast's existence ?" Yeah, casually as always. I really wanted to slap myself.

"Yeah", she answered shortly. I was taken aback upon this quick response.

Looking at me as I was strange, she soon asked, " Why didn't you know ? It was from history."

"No way, are you kidding me ?" was practically shown on my face. To this, my mom just sighed heavily and commented, " I knew you wasn't much of a fan of history, but this was basic."

" I'm really sorry, but I just… didn't… believe as I didn't see them with my own eyes. That's why I was asking. ", I replied fast, finding an excuse for my lack of knowledge.

" Sometimes you don't need to see to believe it , darling ", she said with a gentle voice while gazing at me.

" Is it possible if you could tell me more about it ? ", I pleaded her. As my mom was surprised with my sudden suggestion, she just nodded slowly and turned her eyes to the rest of group, signalling them to leave. Catching her message, they shortly left. Only Kitsune, mom and me were in this room.

" Okay, Rosie. But remember as soon as we return I will send a history teacher for you.", she said with disapproving face while wagging her finger in front of me. I just sighed.

" Begin, please. "

" So it indeed existed beasts and spirits in the past. Like gods created us, they also created other beings. But the only difference is that they acted like their envoy. They sent them to supervise us. The closest were their spirits such as animal spirits."

As soon as she said it, I asked eagerly, a bit too much, " How do they look like ?"

" According to the books, they look completely like animals. Remember that Apollo had ravens as his messengers. As for beasts they had animal heads, but human-like body. "

After some thought I asked, " You mean that beasts could have ears like an animal, but a face like human too, right ?"

" No", she denied it, " They had real animal faces. Like a lion head instead of an human head on their body. Imagine it just like this. "

" For real ? How could you know for sure ?"

" Young lady, do you think our ancestors who wrote it were lying ? "

To not anger my mom any more, I continued, " So why can't we see them then ?"

My mom shook her head and said, " They once lived with us in peace, but this changed instantly. Suddenly the gods told us, that we had to live on our own without the help of the beasts and spirits. These beings connected us with nature, helped us in our harvest by using magic, and improving the life conditions by supporting us in many ways. So to sum it up, we were very dependent of them. This was deemed as weakness. For the gods, this was something no own creations should have. In the end they hid their messengers among us, but didn't let them help us at all. Only watching. The result was war, slavery and more. The gods and envoys were disappointed at us, but still hoped for a change one day. "

I became pensive. This piece of information showed that Kitsune must be a different case. I also suspected that my mom didn't see his tails and ears. She didn't ask them from the beginning, but I hoped some hunch as soon as I spoke up about the existence of beasts. In the end this spark of hope vanished when she said " Sometimes you don't have to see to believe it" while looking at me. Not even glancing at Kitsune when saying so.

One question still lingered in the corner of my brain and I finally asked, " Are there a possibility that a messenger could have children with a human ? "

At first, my mom looked confused, then turned her face to the window, later back to me and soon asked with a serious expression,

" Darling, did you drink anything ? "

Shocked by this question, my mouth opened on his own and my eyes widened. " What ?!", I thought. I stayed in this position for a while, but recomposed myself and immediately shook my head.

" NO !!! Why did you ask that?! ", I shouted it with so much conviction, that Kitsune flinched upon my outburst.

" Okay, okay. I just wanted to make sure. " , she said while waving her hands.

" So why the question ? ", I asked, still outraged.

She closed her eyes first, but then opened again. She shortly answered, " Something like this was forbidden. No, more like it wasn't even possible as they didn't have a physical form in this world in the first place. "

Now I was the one who became confused so I asked in all seriousness,

" Excuse me, what ? What do you mean by this ?"

Raising her eyebrow, she replied,

" Just as I said they don't have bodies like us. You couldn't possible touch them. They don't have a shell to exist here. "

Shocked upon this revelation, I shortly looked at my mysterious companion next to me. He also looked shocked as his mouth was wide open like a fish.

She continued with her explanation disregarding our shock silence,

" You could see them, but never touch them. That is the very definition of a spirit. Beasts as well were no different from spirits. In contrast to the the messengers, gods naturally could descend to the earth with a touchable body as they could create their own shell even if it was temporary, but hid themselves among us. We don't find them easily."

Still shocked, we just stayed like this till my mom finally ended her explanation by telling, "Now from what I see, you need time to suck it in. I will leave now, since I'm tired. So good night., Kitsune. Good night, sweetheart . " While doing so, she took the chance to hug the shocked Kitsuke who didn't even reacted to her touch and then kissed me on the forehead.

In the end she left us. Silence prevailed.

" Just …what?", I said quietly after some time. My face paled and I looked at the boy who seemed to also wake up from his long sleep.

" I didn't know…" , he spoke with a quiet voice too. He sounded so weak that I thought he would wither away any seconds.

I turned my body to him, so I could grab his shoulders. He flinched to my sudden action. With strong conviction, I said with a small smile,

" It just mean that you aren't a spirit or a beast. Isn't this a good start ? "

Yet my voice came out a bit shakily. Kitsune now looked at me as I was crazy, but I didn't care.

" You know, it is better to know who or what you aren't at least… than knowing nothing, right ?

To this, he nodded slowly. I released his shoulders and went to the window seeing the people still celebrating happily. From the corner of my eye I saw the little boy rubbing his shoulders a bit . Feeling slightly guilty, I spoke without looking away from the scenery while crossing my arms, " You know, you can trust my mom like how you trust me a bit. She as well as me wants to help you, you know ? You had to endure many things before…"

I paused for second but then continued , " … But you will like it at our mansion for sure. " My final words should implicate that he was welcomed in our family. It wasn't actually accepted that I could adopt him, however as my mom told us before, he should stay by our side. This was more than enough. Even if it was because of some conflict with the royal family or whatever, I knew that mom just sincerely wanted to help him.

When I finally looked at him, I was taken aback. Before me sat a small strong boy on my bed, crying his eyes out while trying to rub them away with his dirty hands. His shoulders shaken and with every shake I saw his transparent tails flinching. His ears were also dropping.

At once I ran towards him and hugged this little body of his. Gently stroking his head , I whispered comforting words , " You are not alone. I'm by your side, okay ? " His arms returning my embrace, we lay on my bed. We hugged together until we fell asleep in our still dirty clothes.

———————————————————————————————————————————

It was morning, I opened my eyes and smiled upon this sight. Kitsune's head lay on my chest as he hugged me tightly in the night till his tears dried. We fell asleep together.

Not wanting to wake him up, I just stayed still. But when looking at the clock, I became shocked. Even if it saddened me, or even destroyed me, I had to wake him.

" Please wake up, Kitsune. It is 10 o' clock. We have to take a shower."

Some movement came from him and I knew, it was a success.

To my surprise, he murmured, " I don't want to…", and rubbed his face more strongly into my chest. This boy is small and cute, however he shouldn't shove his face into a chest of a woman. Sure, he was young, but this shouldn't make him a womaniser later on. With his appearance I could already see woman surrounding him when he got older. Man, even fainting. In a novel this kind of thing was practical normal.

Not giving up, I said my final words, " We have to leave soon enough. We can't stay here as the others waiting for us. "

Soon he raised his head and spoke with dropped ears, " …Okay." So obediently. Good boy. I smiled at him gently and brought him to a room which looked like a somehow modern bathroom. Something non existing in the medieval era, yet here existing. How I wished there were also mobile phones or TV too. " This novel totally didn't stick to one era at all ", I commented in my mind.

After refreshing ourselves and get dressed with new clothes my mom brought for me and also Kitsune, we came down already seeing our group.

The little boy with his hood hiding his face followed me from behind. When my other companions saw him, they smiled friendly. Regrettably, this child soon hid himself behind my back and grabbed my skirt. Maximillian just helplessly sighed with the rest of the group and said, " Someday you will get used to, kiddo. We won't touch you. Promise. But if you are in danger, don't be angry when I touch you, okay ?" With a wink, he now turned his heels in the direction of our carriage. The boy was seemingly in a daze. All of the sudden I heard a hard bang behind me. Shock by it I looked for the origin and just sighed upon this sight.

A girl fell on the floor while her friend waving a hand like a fan before her own reddened face.

" Are you kidding me ?" was literally written on my face. Even Kitsune was grossed out by this view. My other companions just shook their heads.

" What should we do with Maximillian ? If it goes on like that, his wife had to fight off these cows.", my personal maid commented with an emotionless face. Immediately, I turned my face to her in shock.

" I totally agree. He should control his charms. If it goes on like that, small girls will fall for him. He shouldn't become a cheating husband. ", my mom joined her.

" If it goes on like this, we won't ever get a woman at this rate.", a guard desperately said.

" Even if we had a girl, once they saw him, they would abandon us.", his other friend sighed.

I just felt sympathy towards them, as I understood their despair. Suddenly I felt something pulled on my skirt. As I looked down at the little boy, he soon asked innocently, " Why do they want a girl ? Is it so important ?"

To this, all my companions looked at him amazed by this question.

" You are not wrong, but they… just wish for a partner. ", I answered embarrassed.

" But is a friend not better ? ", he questioned me with raised eyebrow.

" Kitsune, everyone want someone to love them. ", my personal maid finally replied.

" But don't friends love you too", he countered.

" Yeah, naturally, little one. But there is more to love. Friendship is a different type of love. The love we all searched is the one which you get from your soulmate. ", my mom explained gently.

Kitsune looked at my mom confused and asked, " What is a soulmate ? "

My mom blinked surprised and answered with a smile, " Is your other half. A person who can complete you. "

" Aren't we complete ? It's not like we have half of our body, right ?", he brazenly exclaimed.

"Where was the small shy boy from before go ?" , I asked myself now surprised.

" Body yeah, but the feeling of being complete with the person you love is something only you can experience, Kitsune. " , she finally added, " You will understand it one day."

Kitsune frowned, obviously not believing her words. Exact the same expression when children listened to the teachers saying that as they got older, they soon would like the opposite gender. To this, they were disgusted and showed their feeling through heir body.

" If it was like that, what is the difference between friendship and the type of love you meant.", he asked.

Silence came. I frowned upon this sight. My maid also was confused. The reason was these three people. The guards as well as my mom had heated cheeks and locked their gaze anywhere, but the boy.

Slowly one guard said, " …Physical contact ." As soon these words were blurted out, I immediately became shocked, including my maid, and we reddened.

What the heck ?!

I panic-stricken looked at Kitsune, but he just watched them with innocent eyes, seemingly still confused with this sudden silence.

" How perverted are they ? Even mom ! ", I angrily exclaimed in my mind. My maid hiding her face with her hands just sighed desperately.

I pleaded that Kitsune didn't want to ask further anymore, but I knew god and I knew my fate, so naturally it won't go the way I hoped for.

" What does it mean ?", he finally asked me sincerely. I immediately became nervous , trying to find the right words. Before speaking I glared at the culprits for this situation and replied hesitantly, " Sometimes …you want to… touch …someone ."

" Heh ?" His head tilted to the side, his eyes reflecting curiousness.

" …Like hugging.", my maid said with much confidence. The rest of the group nodded strongly too.

" Does that mean I love… Rosie ? Is she my soulmate ?", he said confused.

" Love, perhaps yeah. But soulmate not exactly. …Or do you perhaps like her as a woman ? ", the guard asked casually. My mom immediately hit him from the side which earned a loud " Ouch" from him.

The small boy looked at me and shortly shook his head.

" I do …like to be around her. ", he said with a blush, " I like...when h-hugging her and I like her s-stroking me. But …I don't think …I like her."

Confusion followed, as we now blankly stared at this small boy.

" You don't like her, but you like it if she did this to you.", my maid questioned him.

" No, I didn't mean it like this", he shouted. He took a short glimpse at me but then looked away from me with a more reddened face. " It… just I want to be near her… That's all…I feel safe and comfortable. " , he murmured while he gripped on my skirt even stronger.

" I think I know what you mean", my mom finally joined in, less red as if she wasn't embarrassed before.

" Could it be that you see my Rosie as family ? " I became shocked. "It can't be like this. He just met me, you know ?", I thought.

As soon as this thought passed my mind, it also disappeared when I saw the boy heating up more. His eyes sometimes travelled towards me, but soon returned back to where he looked away. Every now he would become more nervous than before.

Did it mean he knew what family was ? What even friends are ? Did it mean he also know this kind of love ?

" Kitsune, did you have a loving family before ? ", I asked finally. Shocked upon my sudden question, his mouth opened like a fish. Shortly I noticed my own words and corrected , " No, you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

The little boy looked down and gloomy atmosphere prevailed around us. Soon a shout from outside came. " We have to go now", Maximillian called us out.

Shortly we walked towards the carriage, escaping the awkwardness. I went a bit slowly letting the others passing us, since I waited for the slow Kitsune. Suddenly I felt a tuck on my skirt and turned around. With widened eyes I wanted to ask, concern visible in my voice , " Are you okay ? Please forget what I asked before."

" …Yeah.", he murmured. Relieved by his answer I said, " I'm sorry. Next time I will be more careful."

" No." , he replied. Shocked upon hearing it, I immediately wanted to plea for his forgiveness, but stopped from doing so, when he added,

" I mean, I have a loving family. That …what I meant."

I staggered, obviously flustered by his sincere answer. He continued, " My family were… killed by some… people….but… but…" His right hand balled into fist whereas his left hand grabbed on my skirt stronger. Small tears slowly forming in his eyes.

I soon hugged him gently and comforted him by saying, " You don't need to continue. I'm happy that you told me this. Just take your time." After I released him from my embrace, he nodded silently and I took his hand. He didn't resist, so I thought this meant a Yes.

So we went to our carriage while holding hands. The rest of the group, already noticing the quiet boy with redden eyes, just kept their mouth shut. Instead, one guard gave him a blanket and my maid prepared tea for him to drink. I was grateful, that he willingly accepted them, even a bit shyly.

After some time I quietly looked outside the window while the small sleeping boy lay his head on my lap and sleeping soundly. My companions were still talking.

" Seemed like he didn't have bad parents as I first expected. He just lost them. ", I concluded in my mind. Sometimes no matter how much I strongly thought, I couldn't and wouldn't see the whole picture. More like I made own conclusions without knowing about someone's else real perspective and truth. What was I ? Archduke Evergarden ? I sighed upon my own realisation. I should really be careful with my judgement. This boy sure could lie, heh ? One day, you would open up to me. I smiled upon my own oath. At least, his feelings were real.