We just stood still, not moving, only staring into each other's eyes. Both of us forgot the surrounding who probably watched us in awkward silence. But I didn't care one bit. Why you would ask ?
Because at that moment I knew, " I'm screwed." His eyes practically screamed " I kill you !", and then my fear increased. That was probably exaggerated, even overreacted. Yet I couldn't see it as anything other than that. Raging flames were in his eyes. Raging flames !
A cheating and easily angered previous husband, ready to fight anytime. Sure, he was nice and understanding for a respectable time period after we divorced, but that was it. For me at least. He indeed earned my respect in regard of his amazing achievements as the archduke. Now add his gracious and strong behaviour in combination with his outstanding appearance, he would be almost the optimum of perfection. But only almost, if not for his usual cold attitude towards me. Or perhaps especially because he was cold towards me, was he worshipped as whole perfection.
Spit on people who disliked me, for real !
He was only a scary scum in my eyes right now. Respect little to none existent. Angst absolutely.
His knitted eye brows, the eyes as cold as ice and his mouth forming a line. "Normal", someone would say, but not to me. It wasn't his usual emotionless face I normally encountered but this kind of emotionlessness just gave me heart attack. I was sure that I was not the only one seeing the abnormality in the atmosphere. Everyone knew something was off here for some reason. But what could be the reason? Slowly angered by his disrespectful attitude even to my own family, I accused him,
"I was also depressed on my path here, you know ? You're not the only one."… in my head.
Only the king seemed unaffected by this and just continued, " Since everyone arrived here, we can move towards the parlour room for our discussion " He then placed his hand to the waist of his wife, took her towards the doors and left us behind. Still distracted from our "interaction ", she first became startled, but soon composed herself and somehow managed to gracefully follow her husband. She wasn't the only one surprised as everyone, except for his majesty and the archduke, flinched upon his movement. Looking back at the leaving couple, one after another shortly followed suit the couple nonetheless. Only me, Kitsune and my ex-husband were left behind. I watched this scene with disbelieving eyes in daze. Suddenly my little brother pulled my skirt. As response I flinched in surprise and hastily turned my gaze to Kitsune. As if it was a start signal, I immediately took the boy by hand and walked fast towards the direction at once. Just when my feet touched the corridor ground outside the grand hall, I stopped on my track. My little friend looked at me confused, even impatiently. Indecisiveness took control of my mind the whole time, even now I felt conflicted. Finally, collecting the last bit of courage in me I slowly turned around.
"Only a short glance would be okay", was my thought, but in the end I regretted it. Immediately I looked away. Then I continued to walk with my brother. My hand unconsciously hold tighter on Kitsune's hand who in return became surprised and stared at our intertwined hands.
"Ouch" I heard.
At once I weakened my hold after noticing it and looked at my small companion who's face was slightly twisted in pain. Here I knew that I had to "get my sh*t together"… But it was easier than done.
"He became more colder than before my departure" , I believed. The reason was unknown for me. I thought we left in peace. Did I do anything wrong ?… In his perspective? Another misunderstanding ?
I shook my head, ignoring the last remaining person in the grand hall. I hastened my steps a bit while falling deep in thoughts. Before I knew it we already arrived at our destination. I staggered back. Something hard suddenly collided with my head. When I turned around, I looked at a stern looking face of young man. He in return watched me with a face as cold as always, unchanged. Embarrassed by my own action, I immediately bowed and said,
" I apologised, archduke Evergarden." "Why did this have to happen? ", I thought with a frustrated face.
Then I looked away.
I pondered. Not daring to look at his face again, I just went into the room after I saw from the corner of my eye the others already entering the room. The archduke was the last one again.
We all sat on the sofa and the once so lucky- to- go atmosphere changed drastically to a serious one. So different. At that moment my father knew the discussion began, so he was the first to speak. The royal family only knew the raw facts through the letter, so our family took the role to further explain them. Only his origin and unusual appearance.
"This small boy, Kitsune, was found by my daughter Rosie on the streets during the celebration festival in the Medusa city. Because of his resemblance with the previous king from Xenon kingdom 500 years ago, we decided to let him stay in our mansion in the end. After some thought, we also believed that we should adopt him alone of family, so we could protect him at any time.", he now concluded. Last but not least, my father touched the tip of Kitsune's hair and his real hair colour came back. Then the boy took off his glassed and gapes came from the other side.
" He really does look like the royals form the Xenon kingdom ", said the queen while holding her hand in front of her opened mouth. Even the archduke became shocked by this, as I could his mouth slightly opened and his eyes widened
Occasionally, I also stole fast glances at the king's facial expression. Only a pensive face.
The reason why we came here was not only to introduce Kitsune to him, it was also getting the permission from the regent to adopt him. Many aristocrats could adopt a child as their heir or having them as family members and they didn't need the acknowledgment of the king by the way. However Kitsune was a special case in many ways. If you also add that the second strongest family of the kingdom suddenly decided to adopt an orphan, it would cause a strong uproar. Even opposition could form all of the sudden.
No wonder the permission of the king was needed thus we could officially announced his existence.
Silence felt like torture. I, no…, my whole family and Kitsune, hoped for a positive response, but this long stretched silence made us believed otherwise over time. I looked to each of my family member. As always my father and brother stayed calm as stone, but only my mom and I knew how nervous they must be. In comparison to them my mom had shaken hands gripping on her skirt tightly while holding a confident expression. Concealing one's expression was pretty hard. They already mastered it, yet I saw their old habit revealing themselves.
Finally, I saw some movement of his rosy lips. The king finally gave his decision. I, Kitsune, my brother and my family straight their back at once.
" I think, that….",he began, " that the adoption wasn't need it here."
Shock. My mouth opened like a fish.
"What ? Why is it not allowed ? ", I asked myself.
I couldn't believe his decision at all. What could be the problem here? Not only would we protect him more easily, we already saw him as part of our family. Even the branch families accepted him, so there should be no problems here. SO WHY ?
As if our eyes said more than a thousand words, he sighed and now added,
" We, the royal family, can protect him. "
He now glanced at the subject of the explanation, Kitsune, then came back to us and showed his deep thoughts to it,
" Do you need to adopt him? I could just take him under our wings. Where could he be more protected than here ? ", the king responded spreading his arms similar to the scene from "Titanic" . A king of such high level couldn't possible consider everyone's feelings ", I clicked my tongue when I noticed my friend's dissatisfied face.
" However we are the ones who protect you, the royal family, as your knights in this case. We are the shield and sword who stand on the front line. Who else could possible protect him the best ? ", my brother Leon argued with his statement, " Besides this boy only likes Rosie the most." After that he pointed with his finger at Kitsune.
At first the royal family became confused, but soon the queen countered with a raised brow," After he got used to us, he will also likes us over time. "
" I think, you misunderstand here", my mother shook her head and began her own explanation," this small boy is afraid of any human being. Any touch and approach scared him to the point of running away from us. We only knew each other for more than 3 weeks. We also first believed he could get used to us one day, for sure, ..but this believe shaken when we noticed his behaviour seemed more and more similar to a phobia. Almost. No matter how nice we were to him… even as he knew we only meant good to him. I already foresee that… it would take years to even earn his trust. "
"Just the way this little one sit next Rosie just speak oneself ", the queen said gently, pointing at the close distance between Kitsune and my seat on the couch. My cute friend sat very near me, creating bigger distance to his other neighbour, Leon who became a bit depressed about it.
" We don't know yet, however no matter he won't let his guard down. Not even responding to our questions. Only when my lovely daughter was around him, would he response. "
After this explanation the royal family, including the archduke, looked at me pensively.
Finally the last one joined this conversation, " How did you gain his trust ? "
A bit annoyed by him, I was reluctant to answer him, but this only would create an impression that I was an unreasonable person, who wouldn't answer his divorced partner, so I responded,
" Archduke Evergarden, I just met him on the streets. He saved me from a possible human traffic, then we talked for a while …"
" Wait !!!" , he shouted me with a louder voice. You were almost kidnapped by some human trafficker ? " All in the room became shocked by the strength of his outbreak. Even the archduke himself became surprised, then tried to cover his mistake by coughing and told me with a hand sign to continue my explanation. Still numbed by his action, it took me for a while to react but soon woke up when I saw Cedric glaring at me.
"Oh, yeah… We spoke about our feelings and some story about ourselves…. And that is. " I intentionally let out some facts for I already promised Kitsune. Not like they actually saw his animals parts yet. In my perspective. Nonetheless it didn't mean that I would explain them anyway, thud it would be best to hide it. To protect Kitsune.
" Anyway that is one more reason, why I want to adopt him as my child ", my father saved me from misery.
To make him stand strong against opposition, to make matters easier without questioning his protection and the most important thing …to give him a family.
Rosie wished him to be in our family. My daughter never asked for anything at all. For the first time she had the desire on her own. How could I resist her ?" Pleading eyes of dog followed after that. But not from my father. It was me.
" Once he enter the noble society, he would be target of many aristocratic."
" No matter if we gave him our protection and get him adopted, he would be the attention of everyone anyway. So why not make him our son all and for once? "
" You are as stubborn as always .", the king said tiredly.
" That should be something you already know, my old friend .", my father responded.
With a frown on his face he looked at his childhood friend annoyed, but even he should know to give up here.
" Okay, I shall give you the permission…" Upon this answer we overjoyed and my brother, my mother and I stood up with a smile at each other.
"…but you had to protect at all times til we find the necessary information. Should anything happen we shall take care of him.", the king added his condition. But for us it didn't matter because it was clear as water.
" You just tell this to the strongest knight of our kingdom", my father laughed. I knew we shouldn't be overconfident, however our enthusiasm was a lot stronger than our head at the moment. So why not enjoy it now ?
However one thing sting in the eye, in my mind When I looked around, I met with his eyes. I knew I could deem as disrespectful, I still needed to let it out. I asked cautiously,
" As we already finished this matter, are we allowed to go now ?", I redirected my gaze at the king. I still didn't have the courage to ask directly to the actual person in question.
" Not yet ", the king finally gave an answer. To this, I became surprised as I didn't know the reason for longer stay.
" The Archduke just divorced with lady Rosie Ainsworth. "
Silence resided in the room.
" We had yet to publish it. I didn't give the permission to this yet.", he finally added. My gaze turned towards him upon these words. Despair, horror and pain visible on my face. My face twisted itself in horrid expression and my eyes shook, using focus of my surrounding. " Why ? ", I asked quietly, desperately trying to find my calm but to no avail. This just made me more desperately than before. Now not enduring to see this person anymore, I looked down to the ground. My eyes shaken upon this revelation. " Why ?", I told to myself.
" Sweetheart…", my mother called out slowly.
" WHY ?! " I now asked louder, even panic-stricken. The archduke became surprised at my outburst, but I didn't care. Finally, I looked up again to see the the king still being calm as if he didn't let a bomb falling just now.
" I still wish for you to stay with him. "
Frustration built itself, anger fumed in me and despair slowly took my senses away.
" Could you explain what reason could it be, please ? We all know that the archduke just divorced my sister a mouth ago.", my brother angrily exclaimed, seemingly joining my frustration.
" Yeah, we know. That's why I will undo it.", the king said.
" For what reason should Rosie stay married to this b*astard of a husband? " my father yelled and stood up from his seat. The queen became shocked while holding on her breath. In contrast to her, the archduke, the subject of our argument, stayed calm.
" Be aware of your position, marques Ainsworth. ", the king spoke with authority and seriousness visible in his voice, yet this didn't stop my father to speak further,
" We stayed quiet for you and have to let our daughter suffer for such a long time. We have the right to know the reason. "
" Please calm down, my darling.", my mom tried to calm the angered marques and took his hand gently. Her husband finally looked at his dear wife who seemed troubled and worried. This face alone caused him to lessen his anger, but couldn't completely extinguished the fire, so he just glared at his childhood friend.
The king could only sigh to this action. My family seemed ready to fight, thus the troubled king tried to soothe by explaining,
"As you already knew of the rumours, they were mostly consisted of yours", he looked at me when he said it. Confused by it, I just blankly stared at him but soon answered,
"Yeah, naturally. That was what I also like to know the reason why the rumours remained there in the first place ?" A sharp stare followed, competing with the seriousness of the king.
" We needed to find the origin. ", the king gave his final words.
I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow as if challenging him. I knew it didn't fit for an aristocrat acting towards his king, but who should I care for as I would die in this hell in the near future anyway ? From the moment when I first saw the Archduke, I knew that I would be screwed. This only confirmed it. No matter what I did I would come back to the original plot which seemed to be likely the case. "I hate it ", I thought.
" The apple doesn't fall far from the trunk ", the king exclaimed while his hand hold his face. Awaiting for his explanation, my family impatiently looked at the king as if he was a prey who would be devoured anytime. I saw his Adam's apple going up and down when seeing our animalistic eyes. Now he looked at his wife next to him and finally returned back to us with nervous eyes.
" The rumours. We don't know where it came from, but we knew that this particular person would be an enemy for the entire kingdom, even empire. That's why we need the marriage to stay, as we still try to locate him or her. "
" What have my marriage have to do with this person ? On what basis were the suspicions ? "
"… The reason was that rumours about our kingdom being weak were spread. Making us the target for possible attacks from different countries. It even started before the beginning of your rumours. "
" And ?", I said.
"As if this wasn't normal for such rumours to be spread." , I thought with a frown. There were many people who had their own mind and opinion. That's one of the reason why rumours developed in the first place. Other kingdoms were also called as weak sometimes, so why the fear then ?
Back to the king, I asked suspiciously,
" It wasn't like that was unusual for other kingdoms being called as weak as well. No matter what, everyone has his own opinion and perspective?"
" But this one here is different. Not only had this person spread these rumours, he also revealed some confidant information regarding our kingdom and our neighbours who formed the empire with us too. Though the people outside would first stamp it as nonsense, but doubt still bloomed in a few people's mind. These information could possible destroy our bond, if not treated. "
"What information could it be that it would destroy the bond between the three kingdoms ? ", I thought so myself. Sure enough, that he, the king, would never tell us them as these were secrets in the first place but going by his explanation it meant that the people outside the empire already knew of them. What about the people inside the empire ? Investigation must have been already happened in the past years, not only by this empire but also other kingdoms too, so the other realms had made some preparations as well. Preparation such as an attack. Anyone who would be sane wouldn't break the Zeus' rules, but jus like all contracts and rules there were always holes, therefore we all must have our guard on now. Surprised attack could still happen, even in the period of peace.
I frowned upon this discovery. Now I finally looked at the archduke who almost only watched throughout the whole conversation. "He seemed to be deep in thought", I confirmed.
His brows furrowed, rosy lips forming aline and his over all pondering face looks so handsome. Suddenly a memory came back to me and I screamed aloud,
" ARGHH !!!!"
Everyone looked confused at me, and I just looked down to the floor while being embarrassed . "Why did I have to remember how I admired his appearance at our first meet up again ?", I exclaimed in my mind.
" I apologise …I had just an embarrassing memory." Still confused with my explanation, they just dismissed it as it was and continued.
" Now since you know of it, I come to one solution. We decided to make the archduke investigate about them.", declared the the king.
This immediately regain my attention when I heard the archduke, the one who executed me in my past life because of false accusation, the one who had killed my whole family and the one who didn't care for his surrounding except for his family and Luciana at all, investigating. No one was more incapable than him. Fear spread on my face, visible for all. Cedric frowned upon this sight and asked, " What is with you ? You look like you someone died or experienced any horror. " Upon hearing this I turned to him, I had to admit to myself, " You were not completely wrong in both cases. "
I sighed and gave the same excuse with my memory like before, not like it was wrong, it just came from the near future.
" When rumours about your failed marriage and love triangle with young lady of the baron has started, it blocked other information and rumours and the attention redirected to you as centre of gossip. Your marriage was something similar to distraction…"
"No, this was distraction", my father corrected him which gained a glare from the king, but my father as always didn't give a f*ck about it.
The king coughed and continued, " These people believed that the rumours about us being weak link with your marriage of one of the royals, Cedric. " With a short glance at the Archduke, he finally added, " We tried to block investigation from the outside, so we were kind fortunate that this hindered spreading further everywhere. The perpetrator now will try get rid of these rumours by creating stronger ones, but couldn't accomplished it as the love story was the most entertaining for the people outside and in the city. Now they would target for you as the source of their problem one day, for sure."
Now all of them, even Cedric, looked at me.
" So they used me as a bait", I confirmed. It wasn't like I could blame them completely since it was for the common good, yet it stung into my heart. As my feelings displayed itself on my face, the king desperately tried to excuse their action by saying,
"We tried to investigate on our own, but every time …for some reason this person came one step faster than us. We were searching all around the country, but no clue. This person was a natural born tactician. However we noticed that around the time the rumours about you started, the rumours about us were suppressed, it also helped us to find at least one clue. Meaning your rumours were not in their plan to begin with. "
" It just meant that you threw into the lion's den, right ? ", I spoke with gritted teeth.
The royal couple had nervous expression. This alone explained everything I needed to know.
Was this my purpose from the very start ? Was my whole function in this book also this ? Just being the distraction and the evil person they displayed me.
At that moment I felt like dying again. Desperation as a funny thing. One to help you overcome your weakness and at the same time it also destroy you. For me it was the latter one. Just desire to come back to my other world made me ask myself many times why I had to be here in the first place. Even denying the mornings I had whenever I saw a different ceiling, a different smell and different people. Home- sickness was a strong feeling and this couldn't easily get rid of, even if I came back to my once old home. I already moved on from this place, from this world and from this life. My real home was now on different dimension. I already confirmed for myself. But I knew I had to stay here for long, so I tried to accept my fate
It took me so long, yet with these little words they already destroyed my once strong conviction. What else could I do but following the puppeteer like marionette ? What should I do ? I once strongly believed I could change my fate, but here I was standing with the royal family, my family, Kitsune and my ex-husband in the parlour room and hearing the king declared that my divorce won't proceed at all. My fire for survival, the strong faith in my own decisions and my optimism for life extinguished just by these few words. Soon my wish for change transformed to a death wish. In the past days, my mind often returned to the times back in my modern world, missing the happy, sometimes distressed, sometimes sad and sometimes ridiculous days. I missed them so much." What would I do to get back there ?", I asked myself many times. On some days I also thought that they perhaps had long forgotten me. In the first place I didn't exist there anymore probably. Small tears slowly formed on his own in the edge of my eyes.
" I always asked my self what I should do", I thought to myself, " But nobody could understand me anyway…"
Before my tears could break out on their own, I felt someone's hand on my head. The hand movement were rather rough, even harsh, but this clumsiness was cute in itself, letting me feel the sincere action by this gesture. When I slowly looked up to thank this person, I became shocked as I saw a grown up man with blushing ears and worried face looking down at me.
"Ehm… Archduke Evergarden, this should be enough, but what do you do ? ", I asked shyly.
Cedric immediately stopped the motion by taking his hand away and instead placed it behind his neck. Rubbing his neck, he said with a troubled face, " You… look somehow…sad,… I tried to comfort you. " Then he looked to the door, away from the people. I just watched him with disbelieving eyes.
Finally I spoke, " Who are you? "
" What?" Surprised by my exclamation he turned back to me, sky blue eyes looking straight at me. I saw my reflection in them. I wanted to desperately retort. As he was about to explain, he was suddenly interrupted by none other than the king himself.
" I want you to help investigate this with the archduke. ", said the king who saw the embarrassing scene with the others.
I paused for a moment, but then nodded slowly. Did I have choice in the first place here anyway? Even if you asked me and I declined it, it would put my family in the bad spotlight by disobeying a king.
"That's why I will decline the divorce paper.", he repeated his previous words in a different way. My eyes widened, but soon came back to his normal size.
" Still, I apologise for my impudence, but … did we need to stay in marriage when we just investigate together. I would accept living here again, but staying married ? "
From the corner of my eyes, I saw Cedric being devoid of emotion, bad to his usual self towards me. " Puh,… it really felt like he was a different person just moments ago", convincing myself that this was just an illusion or short mood swing.
" We need to believe them that nothing changed and you still will be the topic of everything again. This would annoy these people. ", the king tried to persuade me, however this didn't reach me at all, so I retorted,
"But it hasn't to be necessary to be married. I will be the topic of their rumours anyway, as long as I stayed here apart from him. The divorced woman who is still desperate for her ex-husband. A great story, right ? "
For real, I didn't like this kinda story. Being the desperate old ex- wife, but I would do everything not having to be in his mansion again.
" But next to the archduke you would be better protected.", the king gave another excuse.
"Then we would protect her by staying here", Leon suggested, adding to the conversation.
" We need your marriage for different reason too.", the king said with conflicted face.
" Oh, if you meant the legend or prophecy, this will never happen as we don't love each other.", I told the couple. The royal couple looked at me with disbelieving eyes, the queen even ready to faint.
"You already told her. ", the king glared at his childhood friend.
" Naturally, she is 20 years old already ", my father butt in.
His majesty sighed.
" It is still a NO. No further discussion on this subject. Rosie Ainsworth, you will stay in marriage with the archduke and help him investigate. This is my final decision. "
"So unfair ! What reason could be there to stay close to him again ?", ", was my thought.
But still Afraid that I had to stay in that place again, I opened my mouth again. However I was completely overwhelmed by some else instead. When looking to the source, it was the Cedric who gave his opinion on this matter,
" I accept with staying married with her, but let her at least live in a separated mansion. Not only will this strengthen the rumour about her…, " he paused for moment but then proceed, "… being unloved by me, it also helped our investigation as this will help to widen our range. Confusion filled me. "What was this pause for, male lead ?", I asked so myself. Anyone who heard him, would misunderstand him being still in love with me. If so, why this attitude in the grand hall and my previous years with him ? Would one in love, would be acting like this. With a raised brow, I glared at him suspiciously. What have you up on your sleeve ?
"…I accept this, so for now you can all depart as this discussion came to an end. ", the king said in the end.
Before the archduke could leave, I requested, " Could you speak with you, archduke Evergarden, for moment ?
Cedric first paused, but then answered, " Yeah. " Then I looked to my family and gave the signal that I had an urgent discussion afterwards, so they should leave the room first. The royal family didn't interrupt it as this was their room originally and just let it slide.
As if by command, my family and the couple finally left one after one the room with a dissatisfied expression on their faces.
Finally, I looked at the archduke, after I saw them all leaving. Only him and I still stayed in this room.
I once always desired his eyes looking straight at me, seeing me. Not as someone unimportant and hateful, but someone who stood with him on equal terms. This gaze was unfamiliar for me.
" Who are you ?"