Dear Diary: 04/02/2012 06:59am

Had to wake up early just so I can shower in warm water. I am sitting on my bed, writing. Most of the girls are asleep. Only a handful of us are awake. So last night was… Ahem. It got a little bit out of hand. What do you expect to happen when you give free rein and access to horny teenagers who think they are on top of the world because they are prefects. You get people hooking up and Pranks played on unsuspecting teachers.

So all of us girls ,except Caitlin and Dianna, went to the boys room. It was so packed and they were all squashed, passing around the hubbly pipe. I went and squeezed myself between Dean and this other prefect named Mzi. I couldn't get a proper buzz from the one hit I got after every 20 minutes, that's how long it took for the pipe to circle round everyone. But people seemed to get a good buzz from it because things got really weird after that, somebody turned off the lights and there were scuffles and giggles, and Mzi who was next to me was trying to kiss me, and I was trying to get away, but he was gripping my dress, bunching it up. I stood up, but he grabbed me, grabbing my underwear in the process, I felt it rip under the strain of me trying to run away. Like the whole thing was so inappropiate. I fumbled around in the dark, and luckily somebody turned on the lights. I was so outraged.

"Mzi, WHAT THE FUCK MAN???" I yelled, " You ripped my underwear trying to grab for me, don't you have a girlfriend???"

He apologized profusely. I forgave him. Cassandra and the other girls left after a while. Scott walked them back to our room, like they needed protection from walking 5 feet to our room. There was only like 3 of the girl left, and it was Amy, Amanda and myslf. I felt too strung out to sleep. When Scott came back, he sat next to me. And everyone got real serious about hubbly, you couldn't see anything from the smoke in the room

After a while, Scott leaned in and whispered in my ear:

"Do you want me to check that rip Mzi made?" His lips brushed against my ear lobe making my skin rise with goosebumps.

My insides squirmed deliciously, and I squeezed my legs together. He watched me with a wicked glint in his eyes.

"Scott, stop" I sounded weak and unconvincing. I would so be surrendering to him.

Scott was brushing my leg, and I was trying to keep his hands off me hissing about people seeing us, but it felt soooo good. And these were guys, they were not gonna go off and tell anyone about what was happening. Besides, Amy was busy investigating my brother's mouth with her tongue, and Amanda disappeared with Mzi and was in the other side of the corner, covered in darkness. Both these guys had girlfriends back at school. Then somebody turned off the lights again, and I felt Scott grab for me and then Scott's mouth was on mine, hungry for me. I kissed him back just as feverishly. Gosh, that spark between us, electricity was zinging off from us. I could not believe this was happening in a room full of people. I was the first to pull away, because I seriously, seriously needed to come up for air.

"Scott, we can't, there are people here" I whispered breathlessly.

"Let's go outside then" He said, he sounded shaky himself. Like Wow. I did that to him.

I stood up, and felt the rush in my head, I couldn't tell if it was the Hubbly or Scott that made me so dizzy. I felt a pull in my stomach. Desire. Desire for him.

"Guys, Im leaving, this is getting too real" I said in the dark, but no one answered.

I managed to find the door and Scott was behind me. When we closed the door behind me, he couldn't wait before he devoured me again. Have you ever been so needy and desperate for someone? Like I was panting like a wanton slut and he was kissing my neck, kissing my mouth like he couldn't get enough and I was clinging to him for dear life, not wanting him to stop.Then the door opened and we sprang apart and Amy came out, her eyes widened. It was pretty clear what we were doing out there.

"Umm. Scott, you don't have to walk me back, I'll walk back with Amy", I said quietly. He just nodded, I couldn't see his hooded eyes.

Amy and I started for our room, and she made me stop when Scott had gone back inside.

"now wait just a fucking minute! Were you guys just??" She whispered excitedly.

I hung my head in guilt.

"Wow!!!! Shit! WOW" She couldn't believe it.

"Amy, you can't tell a soul. We got caught up in the moment, it was the hubbly… Please, just don't tell anyone, ok?" I begged her.

"Yeah, yeah. Besides, I don't really like Cassandra, she's so fake" Amy muttered.

"Right???"

Then Amy asked me for details, I didn't tell her about the other times, just about today. I mean, I really didn't know if she could be trusted yet.

"Wow", she said when I was done," I mean it was always obvious that he kinda liked you, with the way he sometimes would stare at you, but none of us said anything because he's with Cassandra and all. But what does it mean? Is he dumping her? Are you two together now? "

"Relax, Amy, it's not that deep, it was just one kiss. No one is leaving anyone" I said more so to convince myself that that was what I wanted.

" I don't know.. This is really sweet though, like I can't wait to see how this plays out "

You and me both Sister.

And then I asked Amy about her whoring around she giggled. Nothing in life can bring two people closer than secrets. I swear. We went back into our room. It was astounding to see how everything still looked the same even though I had lived a thousand lives outside. I couldn't really face Cassandra at this point. I felt sick just looking at her sleeping figure. No, what was I doing?? This was so wrong. I swore that I would leave Scott alone from now on.

Oh, people are waking up. Caitlin wants us to go watch the sunrise. Ttyl means talk to you later.

(A few hours later)

Well that was the worst idea. Watching the sunrise was a beautiful notion but we didn't think that people would want to join us. Of course, as soon as Caitlyn and I sat down on the grass overlooking the river, Cassandra followed, and where Cass goes, Scott follows. And… It was so awkward. More people came to join us and everyone was talking about the meaning of life. Scott was hard not to notice when his presence felt like a flashing beacon light constantly reminding me of his presence. Which means I couldn't relax. And when I offered my 2 cent, he would watch me and I would babble. And I wouldn't even know what it was that I was saying. True story. I kept replaying last night, wishing I could live in that moment forever. And then Cassandra would start her sentences with "Scott and I" and I would suddenly be wrenched back into reality. This has to stop. Like I can't.

Oh, and the next thing on the activities list consisted of us pushing a Boulder, an actual boulder from one side to another.

I should call social services on their crazy asses.

Sorry my heart is too heavy to even write.

Talk later diary.

Lotsa love