Illusions of Salvation

I was running, running from the pain that clung to my life,

running toward you like you were my salvation.

But no matter how fast I fled,

the shadows never loosened their grip,

wrapping around me like chains,

whispering that escape was nothing but a cruel lie.

Fear tightened in my chest,

the fear that no matter how far I ran,

I would always be caught.

So I stopped.

I let the darkness engulf me,

watched as it curled around my soul,

and from behind the veil of my own suffering,

I stared at you,

the illusion I had been chasing.

And then, I realized.

You were never my salvation.

You were a mirage in the desert of my loneliness,

a dream that never existed beyond my desperate mind.

Has the darkness already reached my heart so deeply

that even my fantasies have lost their sweetness?

That even my illusions feel like cold, bitter truths?

Should I fight for myself and

save what's left before it's too late?

Or should I keep waiting for you,

a stranger I've never truly known

and lose myself in the process?