Into You Like a Train

We were nearly at Cell Block D, we hadn't run into much more trouble since the Big Tiny incident. T-Dog now led the way while Rick, Daryl, and I hung back watching the rear, or more like watching Tomas.

"Did you see the look on his face?" I whispered to Daryl, referring to Tomas killing his friend. There was no remorse.

"If he makes one move," Rick warned us. He then handed me one of his spare knives, gesturing that I should use it if I needed to.

"Just give me the signal," Daryl responded. Tomas was now on probation in our minds, one wrong step and he'd be considered a threat.

We approached a room ahead of us, T-Dog peeked through the little window and nodded to say it was clear. We had now found the old laundry room, a few sheets laid around on the floor and in baskets but other than that it was deserted. As we walked through we could hear the faint sounds of walker groans coming from the other side of the opposite door, we would need to take them out to continue through the prison.

Tomas stood in front of the doors, listening to the gurgles that filtered from the cracks in the door. Rick threw our keys to his feet.

"I ain't opening that," Tomas immediately objected.

"Yes, you are. You want this cell block, you're gonna open this door," Rick explained, "Just the one, not both of them."

Tomas sighed in frustration before reluctantly picking up the keys. I walked up behind him, preparing myself for the number of walkers that could come stumbling through that door. Tomas looked back at Andrew, giving him a long stare like they were communicating with one another. I narrowed my line of sight on him, watching him before he slipped the keys into the lock.

With a final click, the lock fell to the ground and he held tight onto the door nobs, "You bitches ready?" With that said he yanked open both the doors against Rick's orders and jumped back from it to hide behind us.

"I said one door!" Rick shouted at him before stepping in to take out the first walker. Tomas was sneakily plotting to get us all killed.

"Shit happens!" Tomas shouted back. Although he finally stepped up, helping us take down the small herd that filtered through.

I stepped up into line, swinging and slashing at each walker that got within two feet from me. It was an entire cell block of inmates that limped out of the room on the other side. Most of them looked to have died from starvation or a bullet to the chest. Our inmates were all yelling as they attacked the walkers, creating a fluster among the killing.

I was just retrieving my crowbar from one of the walker's skulls when Tomas caught my attention. He was going for a walker coming for Rick, thinking he was finally putting his differences aside and helping Rick he swung his machete at the walker's neck. Although, he purposefully missed the walker, only knicking its skin before the machete went straight for Rick. Rick kept a close eye on him though, stepping back before the machete could make contact.

Tomas then spotted me watching, grabbing the next walker to come his way, and pushed it over on top of me. The walker grabbed onto my shoulders and knocked me to the ground with the force of it being thrown on me. I was fuming, the rage surging through my blood as the walker held onto my jacket and tried to chomp at my skin. As the walker spit at my face, it reached up and clawed at my neck, ripping off the bandage covering my neck wound, the anger finally overtook me. I pushed the dead weight off of me, rolling over on top of it and pressing my forearm to its neck. I swiftly grabbed Rick's knife from my belt and sunk the blade into the side of its head.

The room was quiet now, they had killed the remaining walkers. The only sound that I could seem to hear was my heartbeat banging against my eardrums from the anger. I yanked the knife out of the walker's head and got back to my feet.

"Are you fucking insane?" I screamed at Tomas, walking up to him.

He liked that I was mad, he smirked down at me, watching my chest quickly rise and fall from how hard I was breathing.

"It was coming at me girl," he shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal like we didn't know exactly what he was trying to do.

I took a deep breath in, nodding my head in agreement, "Shit happens, right?" I said, calming myself down. I wasn't calm though.

He continued to stare down at me, the smirk not leaving his face, his friend's blood dripping down his cheeks, walker guts smeared on his shirt. He thought there was nothing I could do.

Without hesitation, I finally pulled the trigger on him. My hand gripped tight around the knife and with one swift motion, I stabbed the blade up through the bottom of his chin. His blood dripped down my arm as I watched his eyes glaze back, my face being the last he'll ever see. I pulled the knife back out and he dropped to the ground.

"AHHH," Andrew yelled as he ran at me with his bat, ready to swing on me.

Rick then stepped in, kneeing him in the gut, making him stumble back before he turned and ran out the door. "I got him," Rick said, running after him.

"Easy now," Daryl spoke up, raising his crossbow at the two remaining inmates.

-------

We left the remaining inmates in Cell Block D where we promised we'd get them. Andrew didn't make it, Rick said that the walker's had got to him before he could. Getting back to our own cell block was a lot easier without the inmates attached to us, that, and we had killed quite a few on our way there.

Rick needed to get back to Herschel though, he wanted to see how he was doing. T-Dog opened the final door for us, letting us back into the safety of our own block.

"Herschel stopped breathing, mom saved him," Carl said as soon as he spotted his father.

"It's true," Glenn confirmed.

Rick stepped into Herschel's cell as we stood at the door. They had him handcuffed to the bed as he laid there unconscious.

"Still no fever," Lori confirmed. Rick cutting off Herschel's leg before the virus could spread may have actually worked.

We all stood over him, watching as his mouth began the quiver slightly. You could hear a pin drop in the room. Maggie sat down on the bed beside him, crying as she stared intensely at her father, waiting for him to do something. The fever hadn't got him, but it's been hours and there was no way to know if he'd ever wake up with the amount of blood he lost.

Just then you could start to see his pupils move from under his eyelids like he was trying to open them. His breathing became stronger and he took one deep breath out before finally opening his eyes.

"Daddy?" Maggie cried as he looked up at her. Beth then knelt down beside him, greeting him as he woke up.

Rick quickly grabbed his keys for the cuffs, unlocking them from Herchel's wrist. Herschel looked up at him, reaching his hand out for him to grab. Rick slowly placed his hand in Herschel's, a way of saying thank you for doing what Rick had done.

"Welcome back," Rick smiled.

Once I knew that Herschel was going to make it just fine, I made my way up to my own cell, still shaken up from the incident in the tunnels. As soon as I stepped into my room my emotions hit me like a train, I couldn't stop myself from crying. This life didn't grant you the time to think about your decisions before you made them or the time to process them once you did. I've killed four men now, living, breathing people and the thought of it was beginning to suffocate me.

I buried my face in my hands hyperventilating at the thought of it, I couldn't catch my breath. Time after time you're put into these situations where it's kill or be killed, but never did I think that it would be anything but a walker.

"You okay?" a voice caught me off guard. I looked up through glassy eyes to see a blurry Daryl leaning on my cell door.

"I've killed four men," I cried, unable to calm myself down, "how do I live with that?"

He walked over to me, crouching down in front of me as I sat on the side of my bed, "it's not about living with what you have done, it's about doing what you have to do to live," he said, placing his hands on my knees.

The simple touch of his hands was enough for me to catch my breath, grounding me enough to know that I was not alone. They all saw the situation in the tunnels, someone had to do it. I just hated that I was the one to actually go through with it.

I nodded my head, sniffling, "thank you," I said before I wrapped my arms around his neck embracing him in a tight hug. He tensed up at first and then slowly reached his arms around my back. "Next time could you please just do it before me?" I asked. Part of me was trying to make a joke and the other part of me was dead serious.

"Promise," he said softly.