The Day Will Come When You Won't Be

Fate, destiny, fortuity. Maybe this is how it was always going to end up happening. Everything we had gone through was always going to end up bringing us to this very moment. Or maybe… maybe if we had just done one thing differently we could have avoided this situation entirely. I chose to not let myself think about it, not to spiral into nothingness when thinking about all the what-ifs.

I sucked in a deep breath, trying to pull myself together, trying to get my body to stop shaking for just a second. If I could just focus long enough to slow my breathing then I would be able to regain control over my body. I didn't have a clue what was coming for us and there was nothing I could do to change the situation. My legs trembled underneath me again, the pebbles on the ground slicing into my knee caps. Breathe God dammit. Just breathe. My head slid to my left, looking directly at my brother who knelt beside me. His eyes were wide, the rims of his eyes welling up with tears. A shudder went up my spine.

"Dwight!" the Saviour yelled. My bones jumped from underneath my skin, my head whipping back to the right.

"Yeah!" Dwight answered, stepping forward from the circle. His eyes landed on me, holding my stare as he walked by like he already knew what his order was. A half smile slid up his face before he turned away, walking toward one of the vans.

"Chop-chop," the Saviour ushered him.

Dwight popped open the two doors of the trunk, his body blocking my view of what had been concealed inside. "Come on. You got people to meet." He reached into the trunk, yanking an arm out.

The tears finally spilled over my eyes, any little bit of control I had over my body nearly shooting into a convulsion as Daryl stumbled out from the back. His right shoulder and entire arm had been drenched in blood, a bullet lodged into the socket. A dirty blanket had been wrapped around his shoulders, keeping him warm from the concerning amount of blood loss. They shot him. They fucking shot him. He ripped his arm away from Dwight, stumbling out of the van. It wasn't until he looked up, his eyes locking on mine that he muttered, "Red?" His face turned ghostly, his stare not leaving mine as he finally allowed one of the Saviours to push him to his knees. I sucked in my bottom lip, shaking my head at him as the tears continued to pool down my face.

My stare only tore away from his when I saw three more people being dragged out of the van. My mouth gaped as my heart threatened to leap straight from my throat as Michonne, Rosita, and Glenn and been thrown to their knees. Glenn's eyes went wide when he finally saw Maggie on the other side of the line.

"On your knees!" Dwight shoved him between the shoulder blades, setting him into place.

"Alright! We got a full boat," the Saviour bellowed, now having us all where he wanted us. He slowly backed away toward our RV. "Let's meet the man," he smiled before laying his knuckles down on the campervan door, knocking twice.

It seemed like minutes had passed by, my hands clutching tight to my knees, my nails digging into the skin through my jeans. The door clicked open, the shadows of the night concealing the man that stood in the doorway. Negan. He stepped out further into the light, a baseball bat thrown over his shoulder. Not just any baseball bat though, one that had been fashioned into a deadly weapon. The sleek wood armed head to toe in barbed wire. Even just the sight of him was intimidating. His tall and muscular stature, his black combat boots, his black leather jacket, and the way he stood. He had this curve in his step, a slight lean backwards like he didn't have a care in the world. He had all the power and he knew it.

"Pissing our pants yet?" he asked, an amused smile creeping up his face. He walked closer to us, the headlights finally reaching him. His hair had been slicked back, a thick salt and pepper beard covering the bottom half of his face. "Boy, do I have a feeling we're getting close." He stopped a few feet away from us, walking down the line to take a look at each and every one of us individually. "Yep. It's gonna be pee-pee pants city here real soon." The smile didn't leave his face as he spoke. The torment, our suffering, was enjoyable for him. "Which one of you pricks is the leader?"

"It's this one," the Saviour said from behind us. I didn't dare move my head, but from the corner of my eye, I could see him pointing down at Rick. "He's the guy."

Negan slowly walked up to him, sighing as he cocked his head to the side. He stood only a foot away kicking the dirt with his boots. "Hi. You're Rick, right? I'm Negan." He smiled again before his face switched in an instant. "And I do not appreciate you killing my men. Also, when I sent my people to kill you people for killing my people, you killed more of my people." He pointed down at him, a wild look in his eye. "Not cool. Not cool. You have no idea how not cool that shit is. But I think you're gonna be up to speed shortly," he threatened.

His voice had remained eerily calm, so calm that it alone made goosebumps prickle my skin. "Yeah. You are so gonna regret crossing me in a few minutes." He paused, a big grin sliding up his face as he eyed Rick. "Yes, you are. You see, Rick, whatever you do, no matter what, you don't mess with the new world order. And the new world order is this, and it's really very simple. So, even if you're stupid, and you very well may be, you can understand it. You ready? Here it goes. Pay attention." Negan suddenly dropped his bat from his shoulder, the edge of it swinging just centimetres by Rick's face. My shoulders jumped watching it. He then raised the bat back up, resting it just under Rick's chin. "Give me your shit… or I will kill you." Negan paused, smiling again as he dropped the bat. He began walking down the line once again and I could feel my body shy away, my head dropping as he walked past me.

"Today was career day. We invested a lot so you would know who I am and what I could do. You work for me now. You have shit, you give it to me. That's your job. Now, I know that is a mighty big, nasty pill to swallow, but swallow it you most certainly will." He pointed his bat at Rick's face again upon returning to the centre of the line. "You ruled the roost. You built something. You thought you were safe. I get it. But the word is out. You are not safe. Not even close. In fact, you are pegged, more pegged if you don't do what I want. And what I want is half of your shit. And if that's too much, you can make, find, or steal more, and it'll even out sooner or later. This is your way of life now." Negan spun slowly on his heels, raising his hands out to the people around him. "The more you fight back, the harder it will be. So, if someone knocks on your door… you let us in," he laughed, "We own that door. You try to stop us and we will knock it down. You understand?"

There was silence as Negan waited for Rick to speak. He leaned forward, his left hand cupping his ear. "What, no answer?" he asked. He then backed away, rubbing his jaw in disbelief. "You don't really think you were going to get through this without being punished, now, did you?"

I felt that anger bubbling up inside me, or maybe it was just so much fear. But I had to fight myself to keep it locked away. To not do anything stupid. My eyes slid back over to Daryl, his stare feeling like he was warming my blood. He hadn't even glanced toward Negan, his eyes only remained on me as if he was trying to watch me. Protect me.

"I don't want to kill you people. Just want to make that clear from the get-go," Negan explained, "I want you to work for me. You can't do that if you're dead, now, can you?" he paused for a long moment this time. "But you killed my people, and a whole damn lot of them. More than I'm comfortable with. And, for that, for that, you're gonna pay. So now… I'm gonna beat the holy hell outta one of you."

I sucked in a sharp breath upon hearing the words, my eyes darting around to each of my people, my family. How could all these men just stand around and watch? Why did they allow this? This was exactly why we did what we did at the satellite base. The world would be a better place with a least one of them wiped from it. All the food in my stomach crept up my throat, swallowing hard to stop myself. I turned my head ever so slightly, looking at my brother. Oh please, God, don't let it be him.

"This--" Negan's voice drew me back to him, "this is Lucille." He held his bat in his hand like he was about to cradle it, caressing the wood that wasn't pricked with barbed wire. "And. She. Is. Awesome." He was insane. "All this, all this is just so we can pick out which one of you gets the honour." He inhaled sharply, walking down the line and looking at each one of us. He stopped at Abrhama, looking him over. Abraham straightened his back, sizing Negan up. It was who he was, he wouldn't cower, he wouldn't show fear. "Huh," Negan laughed, brushing his hand down his beard, "Oh, I got shave this shit." He then moved on, walking all the way down the line until he reached Carl. "You got one of our guns." Negan held out the gun they took off of Carl before shoving it in the back of his belt. Carl squinted at him as Negan crouched in front of him. "Woah. Yea. You got a lot of our guns." Carl stared him down, his face was unflinching. "Shit, kid, lighten up. At least cry a little."

Negan stood again, walking back toward where I was. But then he passed me, looking down at Maggie. "Jesus. You look shitty." He raised his bat causing my heart to leap. "I should just put you out of your misery right now--"

"No! No!" Glenn screamed. My head shot towards him as he launched forward. He barely made it two steps before Dwight had pinned him down. I fell forward toward him, stopping myself as Maggie yelled, "Stop it!" Dwight punched him twice in the back of the head before aiming Daryl's crossbow there.

"Nope," Negan sighed, "Nope, get him back in line."

"No!" Glenn yelled once more. "No. No," he begged as Dwight dragged him by his shirt back beside Daryl. Glenn sobbed, yelling out his anger as he was unable to do anything but watch. The helplessness in his voice as he cried out, "Don't."

A deep laugh came from Negan's throat, "Alright, listen. Don't any of you do that again. I will shut that shit down, no exceptions," he raised his voice this time. "First one's free. It's an emotional moment, I get it." He pointed directly at Glenn. Although what Glenn had just done was incredibly stupid, it may have just saved Maggie's life. Negan left her alone and brought his attention back towards Rick, "Sucks, doesn't it? The moment you realize you don't know shit."

Rick glanced towards Carl and Negan leaned back, watching the small interaction. His bat instantly pointed down the line at Carl. "This is your kid, right?" he asked, chuckling as the realization set in. "This is definitely your kid--"

"Just stop this!" Rick finally snapped, shouting from his place on the ground.

"Hey!" Negan shouted, his voice so loud and deep that my entire body recoiled from it. "Do not make me kill the little future serial killer. Don't make it easy on me. I gotta pick somebody. Everybody's at the table waiting for me to order."

Negan walked back down the line toward our side, the same whistling tune coming from his lips. I continued to keep my eyes away from his stare, fearful that I might do something stupid. "I simply cannot decide," Negan threw his hands up, chuckling again. He rubbed his forehead thinking until he swung around, an expression on his face like he had come up with a genius plan. "I got an idea," he stated, smiling from ear to ear. He walked forward slowly, the grin not leaving his face as he started with Rick. His bat sat only inches away from Rick's nose, "Eenie…" He then walked over to Maggie, "Meenie…" Next was Abraham, his posture still straight, "Miney…" The bat landed in front of Michonne, "Mo…" I stared at the wire coiled around the bat, the wood so close that if I leaned forward I would make contact, "Catch…" He then walked over to Daryl, his head snapping up to look at him, "A tiger…"

My heart rate rapidly sped up the further into the song he got. It was agonizing, the waiting, the helplessness. I couldn't do a damn thing about it. In a matter of moments, he would kill any one of us. And this sick game he was playing made me want to kill him. If one of us stepped out of line again then either we would be killed or someone else would. And even if we did have the chance to try, the men standing around us would have us on the ground in seconds. "By his toe…" He landed on Lincoln. "If he hollers…" he passed by both Sasha and Aaron. "Let him go…" He stopped on Carl. I thought this was it. Negan turned again, "My mother…" Eugene cried as he hovered over top of him. The bat continued to land on person after person as he recited his song, walking up and down the line. "Told me… to pick… the very best one…" The tears spilled from my eyes, the bat landing on me again. I cried silently, sucking in my bottom lip. "And you… are… it."

Negan finally chose his person, the bat landing and residing on Abraham. Negan gripped onto Lucille with both of his gloved hands like he was finding the perfect position. "Anybody moves, anybody says anything, cut the boy's other eye out and feed it to his father and then we'll start. You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry. Hell, you're all gonna be doing that." I watched as Abraham straighten even further, his hand coming up to his side, flashing a subtle peace sign over to Sasha.

In one swift motion, Negan threw both of his arms over his shoulders, bringing Lucille down on the centre of Abraham's skull. I was unable to stop the scream from shooting out of my lungs, every inch of my body shaking. My eyes blurred as I watched the stream of blood rush down the front of Abraham's face, the first blow not knocking him out.

"Oh! Wow!" Negan laughed, watching Abraham sway back and forth, trying to remain upright as if he was giving one last fuck you. "Look at that. Taking it like a champ!"

"Suck… my… nuts," Abraham muttered before Negan slammed the bat down on his head once again. I could hear the crack of his skull echoing in my ears. One after another Negan drew Lucille down on Abraham's head as he lay sprawled out on the ground. A cry wailed from deep within my throat as the blood splattered across the pavement. Negan turned his skull into nothing but chunks of bone and flesh.

"Did you hear that?" Negan panted heavily as he stepped away. "He said, Suck my nuts," he laughed deeply while imitating Abraham's voice. He then turned again, swinging his bat down on the pile of tissue six more times. Each one made me wince away from it. "Oh, my goodness!" Negan shouted, swinging his bat around and splattering Abraham's blood over us. "You guys, look at my dirty girl!"

At that moment I felt it in my chest, all of this fear bubbling up inside of me and turning into white-hot fury. The tears still rolled down my face, but as everyone else sunk into themselves, shying away from what Negan had just done, I sat back on my heels. For the first time, I looked up and directly at him. I unhunched my shoulders and stared at him with so much molten rage that I could feel it on my face. His eye caught mine just before he was about to go on with his bullshit gloating. He pursed his lips together before an amused smirk slid up his face.

"Well, shit sweetheart," he laughed, stepping toward me, "I didn't even realize how beautifully terrifying you look." I narrowed my eyes, staring up at him as he hovered over me. "Look at that scar!" His stare went wide as he crouched down to my level, his eyes seeming to dance over the laceration covering the left side of my face. I breathed in deep, his face so close to my own that I couldn't see anyone else around me. I wanted to puke but made myself keep it together. Only allowing him to see the glare I shot back. His smile broadened. "What's your name?" he asked, his voice softer this time. He looked eager as he waited for me to respond.

I was silent for a moment but knew I had to answer. His temper would only tolerate it for so long. "Scar," I seethed, exhaling harshly.

"You got to be shitting me," he laughed, standing up abruptly and swinging his bat around once more "No really, are you pulling one over on me?" My face remaining in a hard line told him that I wasn't. "Now, tell me. Were you given that name because it was some freaky birth defect, or is it just a coincidence?" he asked, seeming like this conversation was the most fun he's had in ages. Apart from killing one of us.

"The last asshole we ran into gave it to me," I spat, "He's dead now." My eyes narrowed further and I could feel Linc's head snap toward me, knowing I was pushing it.

A low chuckle came from deep within Negan's throat, his face dropping down to my level again, "Surely, after all that…" he motioned toward Abraham's lifeless body, "you aren't threatening me."

I pursed my lips together, "No, just answering your question."

His face was rock solid as he studied me, his pale green eyes bouncing over every feature of my face. His lips parted, flashing me a toothy grin, "Oh, I like you--"

My body lurched backward upon Daryl tearing his body from the ground and launching at Negan. He threw his arm back as Negan got to his feet, his fist connecting with his jaw before three men were on top of him. My heart dropped, my fingers digging into the gravel as they kicked him in the abdomen. "Daryl!" I yelled, unable to stop myself.

Negan stumbled backwards, clutching his jaw before he whirled around and pointed Lucille directly at Daryl. "No!" he shouted, losing his temper. "Oh, no," he dropped his tone, returning back to his amused chuckling. My stomach twisted, knowing exactly what that had meant for us now. "That? Oh, my! That… is a no-no," he said, kneeling down beside Daryl's head where they had him pinned. I shifted on my legs, wanting to reach out for him. His eyes remained glued to me. "The whole thing-- not one bit of that shit flies here," Negan shouted at us.

Dwight seemed to come out of nowhere, using Daryl's crossbow to aim it at his head, "You want me to do it?" he asked Negan. "Right here." I bit my bottom lip so hard I drew blood.

Negan grabbed a hold of a chunk of Daryl's hair, lifting his head and forcing him to take his eyes off of me. Daryl grunted. "No. No, you don't kill them… not until you try a little." Daryl grunted again as they dragged him back into line. "Anyway… that's not how it works. Now, I already told you people-- first one's free, then-- what I say? I said I would shut that shit down!" Negan yelled as he walked across the group and over to Glenn and Daryl. "No exceptions."

And then the realization sank so far down into my gut that my heart seemed to jump out of my throat at the same time the words left my mouth. "Kill me!" I yelled, the words slipping out of my mouth so effortlessly, "kill me." My eyes remained glued on Negan, not letting myself look at Lincoln, Rick, Glenn, or Daryl as I offered my life.

I knew that Negan would figure me out in a heartbeat if he wanted to break Daryl. Daryl was good at hiding his emotions, but not when it came to me, and he just proved that in front of everyone. He would eventually figure out that to destroy Daryl he would have to kill me. I also knew that Daryl would never forgive himself, knowing that this was his fault. I was dead the minute Daryl got up from the ground. So, I spared him of that. Instead of Negan choosing, I was. I wanted to strip him of his power, give him a bargain he couldn't refuse. On my terms.

"You wanna teach them a lesson? Kill me. The one on my left, Lincoln, I'm his sister. I'm the only family he has got left. Rick, I've been with him since the start, I'm like a daughter to him now. I'm Glenn's best friend. And Daryl, well… he loves me. You want to hurt them, you kill me." I was making the bargain worthwhile for him. If Negan kills me, they would have no fight left in them to go on. But I hoped, deep down inside, that this would fuel their revenge. Negan killing me would break them for the time being, but my choice to die would kill Negan in the end.

A deep laugh escaped from Negan's chest, "Well, shit, little lady! That is a first for me!" Negan sauntered back over to me, studying my face once again like he was thinking about it. My heart hammered against my chest, but it finally felt as if all the fear had left my body. "But you see…" he knelt down in front of me, holding his bat across his hands, in front of my face, "I don't think Lucille has the heart to kill a woman," he said, as his eyes trailed down the length of his weapon. I felt all the air escape my lungs, he wasn't going to do it. But then, something changed in his face, like it had lit up with another idea popping into his head. He could violently beat a man to death, but couldn't bring himself to do it to a woman.

I remained rigidly still, all of the air exhaling from my lungs. As Negan stood back up I only move my hand ever so slightly, brushing the knuckles of my fingers over Lincoln's hand. One last touch to say goodbye. I knew what Negan was about to do. Time felt like it was inching by. As my head remained cocked towards Negan, my eyes darted towards Glenn. The tears rushed down his face as he shook his head. Then I looked at Daryl and my heart shattered. My eyes began to blur once again as I watched him try to inch forward on the ground. He reach out for me as the cry he had been holding back finally slipped out.

"Red," he murmured, his voice shattering apart as he said my name. Begging me. Pleading with me. But it was too late. I had done what I'd done.

A single tear finally rolled down my cheek as I blinked, wanting to reach back out for him. A tiny smile crept up my face as I mouthed I love you. Saying it for the first and last time.

Although Ben would be so pissed that I had lost this fictitious and twisted game he made up to be the last one standing, I couldn't wait to see him again. Lincoln would be the last of us. He won the game he didn't even know he was a part of. And for once I was okay with him winning. Even though I know the guilt he would feel for being the last Jensen left, the same guilt I felt when watching Ben and Roy die, I was at peace with knowing that out of everyone he could handle it.

At one point we were all just a bunch of strays, undoubtedly in need of a family, and we managed that. A group of people so different, yet so willing to live and love that we made it through this new world together. Not one of us turning on one another. This was my last-ditch effort to show them that, my life for theirs. And I was okay with this night ending with me. If it meant that Linc could be with Rosita. If it meant that Rick could start a life with Michonne. If it meant that Glenn could become a father. And most importantly, if it meant that Daryl could finally be a leader without the need to protect me.

You only have the people you have for as long as you can have them. And damn was I grateful for the people I have.

Negan drew the gun from the back of his belt, the barrel pressing firmly against my forehead. I shut my eyes, two more tears rolling down my cheeks. Thankfully, the only sound I was able to hear was the roaring shot of the gun as it broke through my skull.