♕Chapter 7 ♕

One foot after the other. That's what you focused on, and the sound of your heels clicking against the sidewalk. Your breath was still rapid, your heartbeat thudding in your chest so loud it rang in your ears. You didn't know if it was because of what had just happened, or because you were practically power-walking to put as much distance between yourself and Holdo Hall as possible.

That was close. Too close. Kylo didn't strike you as a man who was easily shaken. Easily angered, sure, without a doubt. But frightened? Never. But you'd watched his eyes follow Hux out of the room. You'd seen it on his face.

It was like you two couldn't stop yourselves. And it wasn't just that you'd seen the opportunity of you being alone together and impulsively taken it. It was even worse. You thought back to before Hux had knocked on the door. What you felt when you were kissing Kylo. Barely anything would have stopped you. The knowledge of the risk wasn't enough to make you use your head and think about what you were doing. You knew it was wrong, too risky. To do it in a classroom. During class hours. Again.

Only when a faculty member came knocking on the door were you able to pull yourself off of him.

Kylo didn't peel his eyes away from the door when he told you to get out of there.

"Kylo-" You'd tried.

"Go." He said quickly, turning to you for a moment, desperate eyes begging you to have faith in him. "Trust me. I'll call you. Just get out of here."

"Do you think he suspects us?"

"[Y/N]." He hissed, turning to you and grabbing onto your arms. "I promise I will call you and we will talk. But right now, you need to go."

His eyes. Fear. Fear of losing his job, of losing everything he'd worked for. Of everything he had.

Well, at least you'd finally seen the man rattled.

The two of you had two strikes under your belts. He'd told Poe that he could drive you home that night at the bar. That was bad move number one. And now this-- Hux walking in on the two of you with the door locked. There was no way he wasn't suspicious of something. And if he was, all he had to do was wait for the two of you to fuck up again.

Kylo didn't call, but he did text. Later that evening, while you were taking a depression nap, or in this case, maybe a stress nap, the buzzing of your phone woke you up. Squinting, you looked at the text. He was asking you to come over, but he didn't want to risk sending his driver. He didn't want you seen with anyone. Moments later, he venmo'd you for an uber.

You quickly typed that you'd shower and eat and be right over.

He responded that you could forget it, and to come ASAP.

You threw your blanket and went to the bathroom for a quick refresh before heading out to catch your uber.

As you approached the luxurious Back Bay neighborhood of Boston, you felt just as nervous as before. You fiddled with the hem of your sweatshirt sleeve. For all you knew, the "talking" that Kylo had promised would actually be a breakup. You could hardly blame him. You could try, but it would be hard to hold it against him if he didn't think you were worth the risk of losing his job. Perhaps you should have been smarter about this whole thing in the beginning, and then you wouldn't have been nervous to the point of your stomach doing backflips in the back of the car as you approached his brownstone.

You gave a sheepish thanks to the driver as climbed out of the backseat before walking up the steps to Kylo's front door and knocking with a trembling fist.

Waiting for him to answer felt like it took forever, and you would be lying if you didn't say you didn't check over your shoulder to make sure no one from school- or Dean Hux- was standing there, ready and waiting to rat you out.

Your head whipped back around to the door when Kylo opened it, and you ducked inside faster than you cared to admit.

The two of you looked each at other silently for a few moments.

"Hi." You breathed when you were tired of the quiet.

"Hi." He mumbled.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." He said, rubbing the back of his head. He looked stressed. "Sorry about earlier. I thought it would be best if you just...got as far away from me as possible. In case he decided to come back for a follow-up visit." He said, turning toward the staircase and gesturing for you to follow, giving you a "come here" motion with two fingers without turning back to you.

"So you do think he's suspicious?" You blurted.

"I think there's a few things you should know about Armitage Hux." He said, Hux's name falling off his lips like "Lord Voldemort" off of a wizard's.

You followed him to the living room, both of you sitting down on the royal blue couch. He rested his elbows on his thighs, his frame slightly bent forward, brow indicating that he was deep in thought. You felt a twinge of guilt. You didn't want Kylo to lose his job. That was the last thing you wanted, even if it meant you lost him.

"If it were anyone else," he said after a long pause, "I wouldn't be concerned. But Hux is rather hell-bent on my destruction."

"Is there a story behind that that I should know about?"

He leaned back, letting his head fall back onto the top of the cushion behind him. "Nothing more than a petty rivalry when we were attending the university."

"Does this school solely employ twenty-somethings into high coveted, senior-level positions of authority?"

"He was in grad school when I was an undergrad. Didn't have anything better to do with his time than start shit with a freshman who was obviously smarter than him." He sighed. "Honestly, the position I have now is probably the poor bastard's dream job. If he catches a whiff of misconduct, he won't stop at anything to take it from me. He's already tried to have me fired once in the past week." Kylo scoffed.

"Wait, what?"

"Oh. I forgot; I didn't tell you. Remember that night you found me in my office before you stormed out?"

"After you'd thrown around so many books that it looked like a bomb had gone off? How could I forget?" You retorted.

"He'd tried to use my familial problems to make a case that I was unfit to teach."

"That's insane!"

"I know!" He shouted, suddenly sitting upright. "Said my emotional trauma prevented me from being emotionally available and approachable to my students."

"Well," You considered.

"WHAT?" He bellowed, turning to you. "You're taking his side?"

"No!" You scoffed. "Of course not." He scoffed at you too, and flopped back against the back of the couch and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm just saying you're hardly the most approachable nor the most emotionally available person I know. You might actually be the least. But that's not a reason to get fired, and him trying to bring your family into this-" You shook your head. "He has no place."

"Yes. You'd know all about my family, wouldn't you?" He murmured. You turned to look at him. The lids of his eyes were half-closed, and he side-glanced at you devilishly.

You fought to find the words, and you weren't successful.

"I know you have a lot of questions about me. But you're not the only one who's owed some answers." He said. "What do you know?" He didn't phrase it like a question. He phrased it like it was a direct fact that you were going to answer him.

You sighed, bringing up your legs to sit criss-crossed on the couch. You fiddled with the edge of your sleeve again. "I found an envelope."

"An envelope." He echoed flatly.

"The day...the first day we..." You cleared your throat. "Let's just say a bunch of things got knocked off your desk and when I went to pick them up..." You tilted your head. "It was made out to a Ben Solo."

You waited for him to speak. He didn't.

"And I know that having a letter with someone else's name on it could have meant a million different things. But I don't know I just...you're kind of notoriously mysterious and secretive as it is. The fact that you might not be who you say who you are might actually make you make more sense."

Kylo was silent for a few moments. "Is this what all this is, then?" He asked, gesturing between the two of you. "You trying to play at being a detective and cracking the big case?"

"Are you fucking serious?" You turned to look at him, your brows knit together, for a moment thinking he was kidding. A part of you was a little outraged for a second; he was the one who didn't even want to talk about what "this" was. You shook your head. "What's happening between us is happening because I," you swallowed back the words you really wanted to say, "enjoy being with you. I just thought if I figured out the letter on your desk, I could figure out why you..." You looked away from him and back down to your lap, hoping it would give you the bravery to continue. "Why you seem to hate me so much." You muttered, the words barely above a whisper.

"How do I seem like I hate you, [Y/N]?" He asked you like he was asking a deep, philosophical question in class, like he was urging you to examine what you'd said. "I admit to being attracted to you. To enjoy being with you. I've given you extra help on your schoolwork because you have more potential than any of my other students."

"But you ignore me, too."

"I ignore you because we're in class. We can't afford to treat each other any differently."

"You don't let me kiss you. I mean, we're already having sex; what's the big deal? I mean, what are you, 'Pretty Woman?'" You asked sheepishly.

"Yes, because I don't want there to be any confusion as to what this is between us." He explained calmly. "What's happening between us is good, but it can't go any farther than what it already is."

"It already has." You whispered, looking up at him. "You asked me here tonight. You told me you care about me. That was all you."

"I do care about you." He said softly, eyes looking at you earnestly. "But don't you understand that we have to be careful? I'm your professor. We were careless today, and we can't make that mistake again, whatever careless means."

"But want we just let this be whatever it wants to be? Don't you want to kiss me?"

His expression softened, and suddenly, a fog of silence lay between you. You were frozen in fear, wondering how he was going to respond to your blunt words, even if you'd said them softly, so softly that he could barely hear them. You wondered if you'd ever move.

But then he leaned in, his lips landing on yours.

Your eyes fluttered shut. You stayed still for a long moment, surprised and wondering—wondering if this was the right choice for him, but soon, you couldn't remember what you were wondering about; your thoughts dissipated, floating away until they were nothing, and your fingertips found his cheek to rest on and you gently pressed up against him as strong hands found your waist.

He had never been gentle before. He had in fleeting moments, but not like this. Not like his body, his touch was asking you to stay with him.

You let your lips part slightly to deepen the kiss, to draw him in closer. He followed you, lips pressing against yours, yearning. You pressed against him, wanting to be closer. You felt his hands guide you to his lap. You straddled his legs, both hands going to cup his cheeks as your desire mounted. Still with tender hands, his palms trailed down the length of your back, slowly, as he tasted you. You sighed against his lips, breathing softly, and tried your best to draw him closer, but he was already flush against you. A hand snaked into his hair, feeling him, and you found yourself whimpering as he parted his lips more, kissing you lazily, gripping you slightly tighter. Harder.

Your breath hitched as one of his hands curled into your hair and gripped, gently pulling your head back. His lips left yours but quickly pressed against your neck. Your eyes fluttered shut and you sighed as he leaned to kiss across your neck and up to your jaw. He nipped your skin tenderly, running his tongue over the blooming red patches he'd marked on you. Your hands were in his hair, pulling softly as your pleasure grew and intensified. You shifted forward onto his lap, the friction causing him to hiss. Your crotch flush with his, you felt his hardness press up against you, and you couldn't stop yourself from how badly you wanted him. Mindlessly, you began to squirm in his lap, and his grip on your locks tightened as he began to kiss you more forcefully, his lips moving from your jawline back to your lips. He yanked you against him and you went dizzy, the only thing filling your mind desire and his lips. You groaned as your lips crashed together and his hands ran over every inch of you.

You found yourself tugging at his collar and whimpering, hips rolling against his.

"[Y/N]." He breathed, lips brushing against yours.

"Please." You whispered back.

His eyes didn't leave yours as he lifted your sweatshirt from over your head. You followed suit, removing his shirt and running your hands down his bare chest as soon as it was free. The first time you'd ever seen his bare chest. And it was...it was broader than you expected. He was all muscle and warm skin, like a man. A real man. Sometimes you doubted that he was even that. But in this moment, it reminded you of what he was. That you, him, and Hux, the world full of people-- you weren't all that different. Your eyes fluttered shut as your fingertips caressed his strong, naked skin, the warmth feeling like heaven and bliss.

You felt his hands cup your cheek and his lips kiss you again. When he pulled away you opened your eyes and watched him move to unclasp your bra. It fell from your chest and he dropped it to the floor, suddenly yanking you against him again. He kissed you roughly, and you felt his arm move between you so his hand could work at one of your breasts. He rolled it underneath his hand, holding and massaging it roughly, before moving to the other one, feeling you up with one hand and keeping you pressed as close as you could be with the other.

His hands smoothed over your skin to your hips, pulling you against him and causing you to grind against his hardness. You gasped and ground harder, causing him to groan. He rested his forehead against yours and whispered, "I want you. Now."

You quickly stood and pulled off your leggings, eyes never leaving him; you watched him pull down his joggers and as soon as you were free from your remaining clothes, you climbed back on top of him, kissing again as he moved his hand in between you to grasp his cock.

His parted lips were brushed against yours as he pressed himself into you, and he lifted his hips until he was fully seated inside you, your skin flush and pressed against his.

You both exhaled against each other. He lowered himself and wrapped a hand around your waist as you took charge, riding him slowly at first, but picking up speed with each roll of your hips. You lifted yourself up to ride the whole length of his dick before lowering yourself back down, gasping and panting, finding it hard to believe how incredibly deep he felt inside you.

His hands moved to your hips, guiding you to slam onto him harder. You sputtered audibly, the intensity mounting between you as he made you fuck him harder. You groaned and threw your head back, hands snaking into his hair and pulling, unable to control yourself—the pleasure was too strong.

"Kylo." You gasped, working your hips. You felt his fingers pressing into your hipbones; he gripped you hard as he pulled you against him.

You heard him groan. "Fuck," he breathed, hands moving to grasp your bouncing tits. He dipped his head forward, catching one of them to draw into his mouth. You felt him groan around the roundness of your nipple, and he lazily ran his tongue over your skin, placing kisses against it and drawing his tongue across the tender redness. You moaned at the sensation as he continued to feel your chest, dragging his tongue across to the other one, sucking and licking so forcefully you nearly cried out.

You fucked him harder, feeling yourself growing close to release.

"Fuck, you're so deep." You whimpered.

He drew his mouth away from your breasts though he kept his hands there, massaging your skin, and pressed his lips lightly against yours. "You're so fucking good," he groaned, placing a lazy kiss against you before pulling away to watch your hips pound and slam against his. "Oh god, fuck, that's so good." He moaned.

You cried out, fucking him as hard and as fast as you could, feeling yourself draw closer and closer to release.

Gasping, you looked down, watching his length draw out of you before pounding back in. It was too much, too fucking much.

"Kylo, I'm so close." You whimpered.

He growled and wrapped his arms around your middle, pulling you flush against his chest until you couldn't have possibly been any closer. You gripped at his biceps, behind his back, nails digging into his skin, any sense of control long gone.

He held you so you hovered a few inches above him and so tight that you were locked into place. He began thrusting. His hips moved so fast and so forcefully you saw stars. He pounded into you with no mercy, and soon, the sound of his skin slapping against yours was deafening.

You didn't even realize you were shouting, shouting expletives, his name, unintelligible moans. You were already a blathering mess when he fucked you so long and hard and mercilessly that you were cumming on top of him, scratching at whatever body part of his you had a hold of.

You let yourself cry out when your orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks, shouting his name off of your lips before releasing a moan so loud it filled the whole room and beyond.

He followed closely behind you, his grip around you so tight it nearly cut off your breath as he thrusted through his orgasm, emptying himself inside of you while he filled your ears with growls of your name.

You groaned and let yourself fall limp against him when you came down from your high. You settled your head into the crook of his neck. His grip against you loosened but he still held you, fingers stroking your hair gently.

Your heaving chests pressed together, and you focused on trying to catch your breath.

Fuck.

You were still for a while. Enjoying the moment, enjoying his warmth...you felt a kiss on the side of your head and your eyes fluttered open.

You shifted and he hissed, his spent cock sensitive inside of you. You slowly pulled off of him, humming through the overstimulation, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning your forehead on his shoulder, letting your eyes close.

You felt him stroke your back and it sent tingles through your skin. Then fingers on the back of your head, snaking into your hair gently to pull your face to his.

His lips pressed against yours. Your brow furrowed in confusion. At first you were panicked, remembering suddenly that you were breaking the rules, and then nearly immediately remembering that he had initiated the forbidden after-sex kiss. And then you realized he wasn't stopping, and your body relaxed, sinking against him once more. You let the kiss linger, sitting in the magic of the moment, feeling his heartbeat against your chest.