Chapter 3

"Your hazel eyes are as bright as the sky, and as vast in their reach, Miss Cordia Pike. Now, please don't leave me in suspense any longer. What do you say? Please say yes. I don't know what I will do if you won't have me."

Cordia continued to look ahead of her, down the little lane that led out into the countryside and past the little town of Lamar, out into the expansive state of Missouri, and beyond. Thoughts of those distant places should have no bearing on whether or not one simple girl in a small town should accept the hand of marriage from a local boy. Yet, in these trying times, how could she not consider all that was going on around them before making such an important decision? She continued to walk, her red and white striped parasol protecting her delicate face from the sun. She had known Jaris Adams her whole life. She had attended church with him every Sunday since what seemed the dawn of religion. She had even run through his father's farm fields at dozens of parties and social gatherings, all the way hollering, "You'll never catch me, Jaris Adams!" He and his younger brothers, Zachariah, Peter, and John, as well as his slightly older cousin, Carey, had chased her numerous times, until she was trapped by the creek or a dense forest, or so out of breath she would collapse on the ground. Now, it seemed, he had finally caught her in a way she could not possibly outrun.

And it wasn't necessarily that she wanted to outrun him. The Adams family were mighty good people, and no one in Barton County could argue with that. Jaris was not only a kindhearted, loving, intelligent person; he was also very nice to look at. He had striking features, beautiful blue eyes and dark brown hair, though not quite as dark as her own. Their children would be lovely, strong and bright. Independent, just like both of their parents. And maybe that was part of the problem. Cordia wasn't sure she was ready to be anyone's wife. She loved Jaris in a way that no one could possibly understand—a love of familiarity, a love of friendship and respect. But she knew in her heart that she did not love him with the passionate love of a Jane Austen character. It was that storybook romance that she had always longed for. She did not think herself capable of ever loving Jaris in that way.

"There are other ways to fall in love with a man," her best friend Susannah had commented just the day before. They had been sitting on the back porch of Susannah's house, shelling green beans, and watching her two little sons run around and play in the backyard. "When James proposed to me, I didn't really know if I loved him either, but I knew I would learn to love him." Cordia had to hold back a small chuckle at that comment. That was a complete fabrication. Susannah Dixon had been denying the very existence of James Brooks since she first laid eyes on him at the ripe old age of four. But Cordia had always known that she had her eye on him. She was more surprised to see that he had reciprocated, as he had spent the better part of his teenage years avoiding Susannah. But she did understand what Susannah was saying. She had heard a lot of women admit that they weren't really in love with their husband when they first met them but that they had grown to love them over time. Maybe that was the best she could ever hope for. Lord knew she wasn't going to just fall in love with anyone else in Barton County. Jaris was certainly the best man she could possibly hope to meet around these parts. So, if she were going to marry, it would probably be to him--sooner or later.

But, in Cordia's mind, as she walked along beside a very nervous suitor who was shaking worse than the time when they were seven or eight and they had come across a copperhead in the woods beyond his father's farm, she could not help but beg the question of--was this the right time to get married? "Jaris," she began, "you are one of my very best friends. You are a good man." She thought she saw his face start to fall as she peeked up at him over the edge of her bonnet. "Let me finish," she said, stopping and turning to face him just beneath one of the widest poplar trees in the county. She couldn't help but notice all of the initials in hearts carved all over the trunk as she began her explanation. "I think marrying you is a very wise choice. And yes, I intend to do so. But do you think that now is the time for people to be pondering a peaceful future together, on the eve of a war?"

Jaris leaned back against the stately trunk. "Cordia, always considering things that don't directly concern you," he mumbled. "Cordia, we don't know for sure that there is even going to be a war, nor do we know that we are going to have to fight. We're so far from Washington and all that politicking. South Carolina is about as close to Lamar as the moon. What does it matter what those men decide thousands of miles away? I want you to be my wife. I want to plan a life together. I love you, Cordia." And with that, he placed his hands gently on the sides of her face. For a brief moment, Cordia thought for sure that he was going to lean down and kiss her, right on the lips. Then, she would know for sure if she could ever love Jaris Adams. But he didn't—that would be too bold for him. Instead, he leaned over and kissed her on the top of her head, knocking her bonnet backward in the process, almost sending it to the ground. Then, he looked at her awkwardly with those big blue eyes, as if to say, "All right—I'm awkward, but don't you love me anyhow?"

He turned around to face the tree, something easier to look at than Cordia, as she straightened the hat he had toppled over. He was wearing his very best suit and the bowler hat his father had given him for Christmas last year. It was his favorite and he only wore it for special occasions. So, Cordia knew when she saw him at church that day that her suspicions had been correct and that he would have an enormously important question to ask her after Sunday meeting, on their weekly stroll. She had been wondering what to say for weeks, especially these last few days since seeing his mother in the bank on Thursday. Now, here she was, unsure of every word that was coming out of her mouth. She placed her hand on his shoulder, and he turned his head to look at her, his eyes showing the disappointment that she was refusing to become is wife.