Chapter 11

Will had cleaned himself up, as had Julia. He had even considered going outside and being sociable, as he was sure that is what Nolan would expect him to do. But he was not in any mood for introductions, nor was he ready to tell anyone about the ordeal they had just been through. His aunt had brought him in a plate of food—which he had devoured. Julia's sat untouched, waiting for her. He was hoping that she would sleep awhile. She could use the rest.

Eventually, he had wandered outside, hoping the fresh air would clear his head a little. But he did not dare venture into the crowd of strangers. It was hard enough for him to talk to a group of people he didn't know, and the events of the day would make doing so even more difficult. He stood on the porch for a few minutes, looking around the farm. His uncle had some good land here and had done a fine job of clearing it and turning it into food and profit. He sat down on the porch rail, looking out beyond the farm, and thinking about all that had happened in the last few days. For a moment, his mind slipped away, and he was not in Lamar anymore. He was back on their farm.

"Come on, get down!" his brother was yelling at him. "Ma is going to see us!" In his vision, Nolan must have been about eight, he no more than five. They were standing on a board they had nailed across the inside of the old, dried up well. He could hear his ma's voice calling to them. Why did she fall for this same trick every time? She would come out the door, and her sons would jump up and scare her. They must have done it a dozen times since the well dried up the year before. He turned his head and looked into his brother's eyes. But suddenly, they were not the mischievous, carefree eyes of an eight-year-old anymore; they were the eyes of a dying man as he fell to the ground, blood running trickling down his forehead….

Will turned away from the vision, trying to shake the idea out of his mind. But as he turned his head, he caught another pair of eyes. Clear, curious, hazel eyes that must have been watching him as he sat there, transfixed. Suddenly, she remembered herself and turned around. Will could clearly see that she was with his cousin, Jaris, by the way she was standing next to him. This was confirmed when he took her arm, and she smiled up at him. Will went back inside then, thinking maybe he should lay down himself. Maybe some sleep would help him to get beyond the awful visions dancing around in his weary mind.

The next day was Sunday, and like every Sunday, the Adams family and the Pike family sat in the same pew of the First Baptist Church. They were surrounded by friends, family, townsfolk, and this Sunday, even some visitors from out of town, though not the two strangers Cordia had seen yesterday at Jaris's birthday party. Margaret explained that both her niece and nephew had been literally exhausted, and she did not think she should wake them, not even for church service. Of course, no one disagreed, knowing what the two had been through.

Still, Cordia was disappointed. Not only did this Will intrigue her almost to the point of alarm, but she also wanted to offer her assistance to poor Julia. She had even asked her mother if she could dig through the attic and look for some of her old dresses which might fit the young girl. Her mother agreed that her idea was a good one but insisted that Cordia let the housekeeper, Frieda, do the actual digging. So, Cordia sat through the service in her usual place between her mother and father, listening to Rev. Jacobson preach the Bible's warning not to go to war without the proper spiritual armor.

Occasionally, she would glance past her father and past Mr. Adams to see if Jaris was paying attention. She thought this sermon may actually be for his benefit, and for Carey's, after yesterday's announcement. While Jaris certainly seemed to be listening, he also seemed to be preoccupied in his thoughts. He even caught her looking at him a few times, and barely smiled, which was unusual for him. Her father, however, caught her looking at Jaris as well and gave her a most disagreeable look. She knew she couldn't explain to her father that she wasn't looking at him in a "wanton" way, that she was just curious as to her betrothed's ideas about the sermon, so she decided she had better stop glancing at him altogether and focus her own attention on the sermon, though she wasn't quite sure what it had to do with her directly. She wasn't planning on fighting any battles anytime soon.

After the sermon, Cordia stopped to talk to Susannah while her parents lingered to discuss the sermon with the reverend. Susannah's youngest son was digging in the dirt, and her other boy was running around with a few other children. She hadn't gotten a chance to talk to her friend yesterday after Jaris's announcement. Now, as she waited for her parents, and Susannah waited on her husband, who was talking to several of the men who had just enlisted, including the Adams boys, she finally had an opportunity to discuss her concerns. "Well, what do you think of Jaris signing up?" Susannah asked, as if reading her mind.

Cordia sighed. "I don't like it," she admitted. "But then I guess there really ain't much a girl can do about it either."

Susannah nodded in agreement. "I think James is going to do it any day now. He keeps talking about it. There he is standing over there talking to the State Guard boys. I'm sure he'll go." She reached down to straighten her little boy's hat, which did no good as he promptly knocked it catawampus again. Then, as if she didn't realize she was talking out loud, Susannah added, "I'm sure that if he goes, he'll get killed."

Cordia paused, not sure she had heard her friend correctly. Susannah straightened back up, looking a little ashamed. "What did you say?" Cordia asked.

Susannah sighed, not quite able to look her friend in the eye. "I don't know, Cordy. I just have this feeling that if he goes, he ain't coming back. Don't you ever think about that? "

"Of course I think about that," Cordia admitted. "But I don't go around saying I think it's going to happen. Why in the world would you say such a thing?" Cordia knew her friend, understood that she was very superstitious, and also realized that Susannah wouldn't say such a thing if she didn't really, truly believe it was a certainty.

"I don't know." Her friend looked over at her husband, and then down at the ground. "I just have this feeling. And I don't know what I will do if it comes true. I'm not like you Cordy, not able to pick and choose who I'll have. I would be on my own, with two small boys, for the rest of my life."

Now Cordia was a little offended, though she didn't know what gave her the right to be. "Susannah," she began, "I have had one proposal, same as you. If something happened to Jaris, I would most likely die an old maid. But that's not the point now, is it? We shouldn't be concerned that our men won't return because of how it will leave us. We should be concerned about our men not returning because what it means for them."

Again, Susannah looked ashamed. "You're right, Cordy. I'm sorry—such a terrible thing to say. Still, I do have my boys to think of."

"I know," Cordia said, wrapping her arm around her friend's shoulders. "I know. It will be all right."

Then, as if out of nowhere, Susannah added yet another bit of superstition. "You know, they say that, if'n your loved one dies away from home, you'll know it before word ever reaches you."

Cordia's curiosity, always at its peak, now had the better of her. "What do you mean?" she asked.

Susannah continued. "They say that their spirit will leave them and make its way back to you. People have told stories about looking out a window, or down a lane, and seeing their loved one comin'. Then, they just disappear. And then, hours later, they find out that, at the time they thought they saw them a'comin', they were already dead."

Cordia looked at her friend with a great amount of skepticism. "I don't reckon I believe that, Susannah." Then, she went further by saying, "And I ain't sure that's the type of thing people should discuss in the churchyard."

"Maybe you're right, Cordy," Susannah admitted, "But if you see Jaris comin' down the road someday, and then he disappears, you'll know something has happened."

Just then, Cordia noticed her parents motioning her over. They were ready to go. "See you later, Susy. Let me know if you need any help with those rascals of yours." As she made her way toward the wagon, Susannah's words replayed in her head. "Ridiculous," she thought. In the back of her mind, she raised the question of whether or not this superstition applied if you weren't sure you truly loved the deceased, but she fought that thought back down and shook her head at the silly story.