In Another World with an Indestructible Plunger

Hello reader! My name is John Vasquez, I am a proud 20 year old virgin who is unemployed! Yes... well it is not something to be proud of. I mean, well, uh. Anyways, I died.

Yes, just like every reincarnation manga or comic you have read, I died. How am I alive? Simple! God is giving me another chance! But I do not get to choose the weapon I want. Let us go back to the time when I was alive shall we?

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It was morning, a very bright sunny morning. In fact, it was so bright for me that I hated it. I have not went out of my house that much and have been living alone for three years now. I went to the bathroom and checked the mirror.

"What a sight! … and smell ugh." I muttered to myself in disappointment.

What a sight indeed that was. Unruly black hair, small eyes, and smelly. I have not taken a bath for 3 days now and spent it all on finishing the novel I was writing. Yes, although I was unemployed, I was a top selling author. I got my money from writing books and short stories. Quite decent if I do say so myself.

I turned on the bath water heater because I wanted to take a bath. Then my stomach started to feel constipated so I rushed to the bathroom just by the corner of my bathroom.

"Ah yes."

Dumping. Yes, I was dumping in satisfaction that you could call it gross. I was humming that time and then suddenly the world had started to warp in my vision.

"Huh? Why does my stomach feel warm?"

I saw a mirror on the floor and noticed that it was broken. I was in a state of confusion that time. And then I heard panicking voices. When I had looked at the mirror I saw myself lying flat on the ground with half of my face smashed with a wheel.

"Huh? A wheel." I faintly muttered.

It seems, my time is running out. I felt my body getting cold and my consciousness fading away.

"I still haven't wiped my ass, damn it!" I shouted.

"Huh? Wait, I was dead right?" I asked myself.

I noticed I was still sitting in a toilet but the entire place was white, not even a speck of black was there.

"Oh god!" exclaimed the man with a long white beard with white garment covering over his body.

"What do you mean oh god!? Are you not God?" I asked frustratingly.

"Ah right, I am God." replied the old man with long beard.

"So am I dead?" I asked calmly.

"You seem too calm about this?" inquired the old man as he was stroking his long beard.

He looks like he is disturbed by something. Well, I need to keep on asking.

"Do you want me to scream and cry?" I implied.

"That would be troublesome indeed." God nodded. "It seems you had always wanted to be reincarnated. I will let you reincarnate, however blugh-"

God was throwing up. Then I noticed yet again I was still dumping right in the middle of the conversation. Teehee.

"Oh sorry, do you have some tissue?" I asked God.

"Just imagine that you are clean, that is enough." God fervently replied as he wiped his mouth with his beard.

Wait … you can use your beard to wipe your puke? Anyway, I'll pretend I did not notice that.

"This seems convenient. Just by thinking "cleanse", I feel squeaky clean." I muttered to myself. "Alright! So what cheats can I get?" I added excitedly.

"The plunger you are currently holding right now will be your weapon. I will make that indestructible of the highest level. Not even I can break that." replied God.

"Huh wait … is that all? Can't I get cheat abilities?" I frustratingly inquired.

I looked at God with puppy eyes. Finally, after a few seconds of staring at him, he finally gave up and shrugged his shoulders in defeat.

"I am going to transfer you a world of fantasy that is a millennia behind the world you used to live in. There is a level up system where you kill monsters you gain experience points, and these experience points will accumulate increasing your level. As for your cheat ability, I will give you the ability to level up without limits, since in that world the maximum level capacity there is 100. In other words, you can level up almost infinitely."

Yes! That is indeed a cheat ability! But wait … I feel like something is about to happen. I looked at God and he was giving a smirk. He opened his mouth and continued talking.

"Although you have a cheat ability, I do not want you to have an inflated ego as it will destroy the world's balance if you become strong too fast. So..."

Please no... no... I have a bad feeling about this... What face am I making right now? I have no clue at all! But I can seriously tell that something is amiss here!

"I will have to limit your leveling requirements." God added.

Huh? What did he say?

I could feel the my world slowly shattering. Why do I have to grind?!

"So, you will only level up when you clean toilets!" God added.

"HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!" My world suddenly shattered. I fell into despair. I looked at God with puppy eyes, begging for another chance.

"Nope. Bye Bye ~ Off you go now~ Ciao~ Oh wait, I forgot, there's also another god there trying to destroy the world. I would appreciate it if you clean him up for me as well. Hehe"

God sent me his goodbyes and gave me a mission. I mean, I have cheats but … cleaning toilets? Really?

It seems like my journey, my life is going to be a joke at this point. I will just have to keep my grit! Fighting! I kept my positivity levels in check so I wont fall into despair.

I started noticing my surrounding going pitch black, it seems my reincarnation cycle is beginning. I closed my eyes and thought of the words that I probably want to say when starting a new life.

"Thus, begins my life in another world with an indestructible plunger!" I exclaimed happily.

"Man talk about crappy intro to a new life. Oh well." I whispered to myself as I resigned to my fate.