Chapter 12 - The Departure

Then the ambulance came. It took so long for the ambulance to arrive because we are on the top of a mountain. The staff in the ambulance picked her up and I helped them.

I called Martha and Ian to meet me there in Jehovah Rapha Hospital. She was rushed to the emergency room and then transferred to the ICU. She was being monitored by the doctors

**********

I was there outside on the bench speechless. I can't believe what was just happening. It was just too fast.

Then Ian arrived and saw me and said, "Don't worry brother, God is sovereign, He is in control." I just nodded.

I did not notice that I fell asleep on the bench. I had a familiar dream while I was sleeping. It was about a worship leader I dreamed more than 2 years ago in whom I cannot recognize the face. I thought before that it was Rachel

But this time the face becomes clear, it was really Rachel, but she's crying and she looks at me and waving goodbye. Her face was sad and then she walks away from the stage.

I chased her and I passed through the backstage. I saw her bringing her baggage and said

"I am going away Jacob."

"But where?" I asked her.

"I am going to an eternal departure. I am going to a place where the streets are gold, where I have a room prepared by my Father," she replied while she smiled at me.

"Jacob, wake up, something is happening in the ICU!" Martha woke me up.

**********

We rushed to that room and we saw on the glass window she is fighting for life. Her vital signs went critical.

I always pinch myself thinking that It was only a dream like I used to when I am in doubt about what is happening. But sadly, It is very real.

I can sense the doctors are giving up. One of them shaking his head and looked at his watch.

"Time of death 3:05 AM."

Even though I did not hear what he said, but I can read his lips. My world gets crumbled and tears start flowing in my eyes.

If only we did not go on the top of a mountain, maybe she could have a chance to be rescued. I blamed myself that is why I punched the wall.

Ian saw that ran to me, "Jacob, we lost her. I am sorry. The doctor said she got more complications in her body because of her condition"

and he continued, "And please, don't blame yourself!"

I don't know what to say. So Ian just hugged me as I cried a lot and I cried like never before.

I touched my left cheek. I never know that kiss will be the last moment I had with Rachel.

**********

When I arrived home because they let me rest, I wrote again a poem for her because poems are again my outlets:

On the day that you departed

I was sad and brokenhearted

I realized that day

That I am now very lonely

And now I'm missing you

You'll be always in everything I do

From the day I will wake up till I rest in the night

And even in my dreams when I will sleep tight

And then I opened my Bible. I almost forgot God maybe because I was disappointed why He let this happen. I was led to this verse in Isaiah 55:8-9

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways,

declares the Lord.

As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts."

I was convicted. I forgot that God was sovereign like what Ian told me. God has his wisdom and reason that is why He let this happen. My understanding is just small compared to God, so I need to trust Him.

I would like to ask God why He let our paths crossed but end up like this. I would like to ask why she is the one I dreamed of when I went back here in Cebu but it ended in a tragedy.

I always being unfortunate when it comes to relationships. Either they don't like me or leave me. Sometimes it's my fault.

I feel like I am not worthy to be loved. I am not worthy to enter a relationship.

But it was more painful with Rachel. I always remember how I am like a camel entering a needle just to make our love story possible. Even if I feel before that it's impossible that we could be together, but I did not give up.

She is worth fighting for. I never knew her that well from the start, but my heart skips in every beat whenever she is around.

But when I have the chance to get her like I found a treasure in a cave or like I won a lottery so big, that is also the time when she was taken away from me.

So that's my love story with Rachel. It's like a dream or an illusion that we were together and suddenly I wake up as nothing happened. It's just like a novel and I am the author that in the end, I know it only exists in papers.

After I gave all my questions to God, there was peace in my heart. A peace like only God can give that surpasses all understanding and then I went asleep.

**********

I woke up at noontime. I'm hoping as I wake up, everything is just a bad dream. I'm so lazy to get up because I was sad and depressed about what is happening, so I filed a leave for days from work.

And then Martha called me, "Jacob, I hope you are okay now. But can I request you to officiate a wake service tonight for Rachel? I know you are the best one who can give that to her. Her wake is in Calvary Memorial Chapel."

"Yes, sure," I replied.

I never thought that Rachel would be one of the dead people I am officiating in one of my wake services. I'm still not composed to officiate a wake service for my girlfriend.

Then I went to her wake. The room was full because all of her colleagues in her ministries were there

Also, there was her family, her relatives, friends, officemates who dearly loved Rachel.

"Good evening everyone, let's start our wake service by a song," Martha announced as she was the emcee.

So the wake songs were sung from her colleagues in the worship team. I can see that they were also shocked as they sing and nearly cry.

After the song, Martha called me in front to deliver the message.

I used again the verse in Ecclesiastes 7:1-2 to learn about death.

"A good name is better than fine perfume,

and the day of death better than the day of birth.

It is better to go to a house of mourning

than to go to a house of feasting,

for death is the destiny of everyone;

the living should take this to heart."

"There are 3 things we can learn about death," I said boldly to the audience.

"First, that life is temporary" "Even my romantic relationship with Rachel was just temporary. We may have enjoyed together a good six months not counting those days when we were starting as friends, but it is nothing compared to what life would be in the afterlife.

The question is, where are you spending your life after death?"

"Second is we realize what our priorities are" "Even though we always see each other, we don't forget our highest priority is our relationship with God. We always check each other what our devotions are."

"We also don't neglect our families as our second priority. We always check at them and spend with them the best we can."

"We also give our best in our workplace. We don't compromise our dating in our work. We still become a good model of what is excellence in the workplace as followers of Jesus."

"The question is, are your priorities are in the right order?"

"Third is we need Jesus" "Jesus Christ is the only way we can enter heaven. Not our good works, good morals, and even our religion. Both of us accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior and that is enough for us to go to heaven"

"We don't have to boast anything that we have to enter heaven. It's all by God's grace and that is why it's called grace because we don't deserve it."

"It was the choice that Jesus had to come down to earth to be crucified so that He would be the payment for us to enter heaven because if Jesus had not taken that action, we will be the ones who will end up paying that in hell"

"The question is, would you like to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?"

At the end of my message, the people clapped. But I inserted in my speech as I look on the coffin.

"Before my speech ends, I would like to say something about Rachel."

"The first time I saw her while she was singing on a worship service, I already knew in my heart that she will be something special to me. "

"So I move heaven and earth just to know her. I pushed myself to her and it backfired on me. I learned a big lesson."

"I waited and waited for the time that she will open her heart to me."

"After for a long time, God answered my prayer. She is the best gift God gave to me after salvation."

"But God in His sovereign wisdom took away that gift that he entrusted to me that I know is just temporary."

"But I want you all to know and how I wish Rachel would hear what I will say is that.."

"I will never forget the day when God showed me you."