CHAPTER 11

"DOES THE TRUTH HURT??" the agonising voice of my aunt Louisa raided the entire room and suffocated me.

How could she make me hate my own mother? I knew she disliked me for some reason but why was she acting like this? This was an extreme and I wouldn't just sit down and joy with it.

I was a grown woman and I responsible for my own life and emotions.

Anyone who tried to tell me otherwise, would answer to me.

"Here.....", she handed me an envelope which I tossed away.

"What? you have pictures of my mother stripping? Or maybe of her in her night attire to prove her wrong and yourself right? Enough of this....."

"Tsk....you naive girl. She knew you'd say that. Everything you've said, is exactly what she said you would. For many years I have debated on whether to dispose this or not. I lived well with the fact that I could bear your hatred no more than you would bear the truth...."

"Stop talking in circles....being whatever lie you have to my face but be warned, I won't stand for it....", I pointed my index finger at her and she only gave me a fitting smile.

"Read it....and after you're done do me a favour and get out of my house. Don't even once think you and I are related after this. Carry your face and don't ever show it to me.... you're just as ungrateful as your mother! I've had just about enough of both of you...no more....!!", she grabbed her daughter's hand and headed out of the living room.

Erika was confused but just followed behind her mother.

I envied her. She had someone she called mother and I had none. I had no idea of where she was and here being told she was a stripper? My mother was an upholder of good values and morals. There is no way she would do something as shameful as that. She valued her dignity and worked hard for it. She always put before her the essence and treasure of being a woman and to know that she would dance around poles in some bar naked was a sin to even imagine.

I carried my boots and walked out of the house. The sun was up and it was hotter than before. I had my shades back on and matched through the sand. It was hot on my feet and I knew I had to get them treatment the moment I got home.

I arrived to my car and hurriedly drove myself out of this place.

All the way, I couldn't stop cursing myself for being stupid.

Did I really believe that after all this time Louisa would finally admit to her misdeeds and confess? Then what? we will hug and live happily ever after?

I must've been out of my mind.

She was a very cunning woman and I despised her so much. She had a heart of gold kept in a seal of green notes. She wanted money and that was all she saw when she looked at me.

I didn't care about her. Today proved to be the last day I was going to see her.

She caused me pain and no more. She dared to not issue the cheques I sent her. Why? Whose money was she surviving on?

Aarrgg! I hit the steering wheel in rage and stopped the car on the side of the road.

The roads were clear and there was no one coming this way. I looked at the tarmac road and heat waves were obviously radiating from the ground going up.

Thinking about how delicate my tyres were, this would cost me a burst one.

I got out of the car and sat on the passenger's seat watching the trees. I needed to breath before I reacted.

I looked at my watch and it was twelve noon.

That woman didn't even bother giving me a glass of water.

Gosh she was cruel. I couldn't even get a moment to dip even my toe in the beautiful water just outside her house.

Why was she like this?

I remembered the envelope she gave me and I quickly tore it. It had two letters in it.

I opened one and started to read it. It was in my mother's handwriting.

To my dear sister,

Who knows me more than anyone else could.

Who loves me and treasure me than the gods ever would.

Thank you. You understand my needs and this is why am asking of you, take care of my Eleanor for me. She's still a little girl and won't understand if I explain things to her.

Two bars of chocolate should be able to pacify her. I wished I watched her grow but you of all people understand I can't.

This is why am asking you with my life, please do what you must. Make her so famous that I would be able to see her on billboards and big screens and TV. So that I would be able to hear her voice on the radio and feel her close to me.

When she comes of age, sign an agency with Marc Dorcel. I already have it arranged. He will be waiting for her. I know this sounds explicit but she will thank me later.

To my dear sister, thank you.

The surroundings suddenly became dark and the paper in my hands got wet. Drop after drop, years from my face fell on it, made it heavy and drop off from my hands. I bloomed with anger and my face was painted with resentment.

My own mother??? Marc Dorcel?? What was she thinking?

I couldn't believe it.

Louisa was never on the wrong. She was the victim like myself and we were both puppets to my mother's tunes.

My life seemed so fake.

Everything was all her. She was taking charge in my life even though she was away.

She chose her disgusting career over me and wanted to have me be like her. She was insane. How could she do that to me?

No...this couldn't be true.

I quickly unwrapped the other letter and read it.

To my beautiful Eleanor,

You won't be able to understand everything now but when you grow up, I can guarantee you will.

I told aunt Louisa to give you this letter when you're able to read and comprehend things. Of you ever get the chance to read this, thank you.

I am not the perfect mother you think I am. I am a totally different person but I want you to know that I love you with all my heart.

It pains me to know that I have to leave you. It's a sin I won't ever forgive myself for. But my prayer remains the same, that you grow up and I can witness every single piece of it from wherever I am.

Aalways remember that I love you.

Mummy loves you.

mummy....xoxo

Another flood escaped through my eyes and I wrang the papers throwing them back in the car.

I didn't want to know anything anymore.

I had been hating the wrong person all this time. My aunt wasn't wrong. She was only doing what my mother told her to.

Maybe she was wrong. She was supposed to install good values in me and nurture me like a mother does to her children. But she didn't. She failed me. She was the victim but equally responsible.

All the people in my life were cunning monsters. Friends who were more than enemies in disguise. Weapons for torture. I was just prey to their hidden agendas.

I cried my eyes out knowing that I was done for.

No one would ever see me with respect anymore.

I was a laughing stock and it entirely ruined me.

how on earth could this have happened?

Disturbed and not in my right state of mind, I went back into the car and drive to an old favourite place of mine, hoping it was still running.

I drove to about fifty kilometers from the beach and arrived in the country side.

The crusty road was the same and the study was worst than before.

The rooftop was literally brown although you could tell from the ridges that it wasn't the original colour.

I stepped out and headed in.

It wasn't as full as I expected it to be with was a good sign. I wouldn't want causing unnecessary attractions.

"Hola señorita..." the barman called and had me sit just on the counter. He was rather old for his job but I guess he was just the perfect guy.

I obeyed and did as he gestured for me.

"Pretty bad day for everyone, is it? Business no good today....", he tapped the table and stood right adjacent to me.

"Vodka. Five shots..." I demanded and he did in a blink. He took the tiny glasses and placed them on the table pouring the drink in it. A young man walked in from behind him and he seemed busy. I looked back and noticed a few more people in the bar and I guessed he was serving them.

I downed the glasses in a blink and I wore a nasty face after the horrible taste was still savouring in my mouth.

"again...." I asked and he was quick on his hands to do just what a customer needed. He was a very good business man.

After about five rounds, I felt dissatisfied.

"Do you have the one that says 70% alcohol?" I asked and suddenly began feeling dizzy. "Give me that one....now!"

The two men in front of me looked at each other and I quickly smashed the table hard. "Did you not hear me!"

"Senorita.....you drink too, it ruin your boDy..."

"Is it your money or my money???" I asked angrily. Who did they think they were telling me I had too much to drink?

"You misunderstand Miss, he's only being considerate....", the young man intervened and I took matters into my own hands. I dropped off the stool and staggered all the way to behind the counter. My legs were wobly and wonky but I still found my way to it.

I palpated over the bottles trying to find just what I needed.

Bottle after bottle, I lost my balance along the way and almost fell to the ground only for this young man to support me.

"Let go of me!" I pushed him away and looked for the drink to satisfy my needs.

Exhausted plus my blurry vision, I grabbed any and downed in in the next five minutes.

"This is why I say never marry a celebrity....", the old man spoke to his little one and headed out. "Be sure she pays when she leaves..." was all I

heard before he left.

I lied on the floor, lifeless and not aware of what was going on.

I was heavily drunk and I couldn't even wake up. I started blubbering whatever thing that came to my mind.

Then I saw Aaron. He was with Lauren. I must've drank heavily to the point of hallucination. They didn't know of my location. I told none of them so how could they have arrived?

I looked around and recognised the place. I was still in the bar.

I laughed at my stupidity. Lauren and Aaron? Geez.

I turned to the other side and instantly feel into a deep sleep.