Chapter 5

The Marigold Homeless Shelter was an old brick building in the heart of downtown. The building had seen many years of wear and tear. It needed a new roof, up to date electrical system, and the heater was making strange noises. Despite the issues with the building, the doors opened daily to feed and shelter the homeless. The shelter opened its doors to men, women, and families. It provided basic health care, shelter, and served meals 3 times a day. The main room served as a dining room during meal hours. Several long tables were lined up in rows that filled the entire room. At night, the long tables and chairs were cleared away and replaced with several cots.

Tallulah met Zoe at the homeless shelter on Sunday morning. People were lined up outside and around the block, waiting for a hot breakfast. Tallulah walked to the front of the line and gently pushed her way inside.

She spotted Zoe talking to an elderly Black woman. She watched as Zoe spoke to the woman, whose face looked somber and sad. Zoe was holding the woman's hand, comforting her.

Tallulah approached. "Hi. I'm sorry I'm late."

Zoe looked over at her, nodded her head, and continued to speak with the elderly woman. "Now Lily, I'm going to be here all morning. I have to get the food ready for others. Why don't you sit here, and I'll bring you something to eat."

Lily, the elderly Black woman, nodded her head and sat down. Zoe then took Tallulah by the arm and led her away from the table. "So sad," she said. "Lily has mental issues. From what I'm told, she's been homeless for a long time. She's had the opportunity to get off the street, but she seems to want this life." Zoe shook her head. "She talks to herself a lot. But Tallulah, the woman can sing. The last time I came, she helped me in the kitchen. She has a beautiful voice. It's funny; you wouldn't think that voice would come from that frail old body."

Tallulah looked toward Lily. She didn't know what to say. A feeling of sadness came over her. "I guess some people want to live on the street," she finally managed to say.

Zoe looked at her. "Most of these people are mentally ill. The outcasts of society, T. I don't think they can function in the real world. Let's go to the kitchen."

She motioned for Tallulah to follow her. They walked through a large door into a large kitchen, which was full of volunteers. A young Hispanic woman walked over to them.

"Zoe, I'm so glad you're here. Thank you for bringing the food, we can really use it. We're going to have a full house this morning." She hugged Zoe and turned toward Tallulah. "I'm Anna. Zoe tells me you're here to help us today."

She extended her hand to Tallulah, who reached out and shook it. "I'm Tallulah. I'm here to help."

Anna smiled and released her hand. "Great. Zoe can show you what to do. You'll need a hair net and gloves."

"I'll show her, Anna," Zoe said. Anna smiled and walked away. "Come on, T, let me show you what I do here."

Zoe led Tallulah over to the large stove, where she had several burners working all at once. "Today," she said proudly, "we have eggs, toast, oatmeal, Canadian bacon and some fresh fruit. I like to have fruit because they can take it with them." She reached over and pulled a pair of gloves out of a box. "When we serve, we use gloves. The hair nets are over there." She pointed to a box on the other counter. "You can serve. We usually make a line and have all the food on a table. We'll take everything from the kitchen and set up out in the dining room."

Tallulah nodded her head. She didn't know what to expect. She'd never volunteered at a shelter before. She wasn't expecting the wave of emotions that ran through her when the woman and 3 kids came through the line or the elderly white man with his mangy dog asked for extra oatmeal or the young girl with the dirty face, who looked about 17, smiled at her when she grabbed an orange and put it in her pocket. It was overwhelming, and she felt an air of hopelessness in each of their situations.

She noticed she was low on oatmeal and turned to Zoe. "I'm going back for another pot of oatmeal."

Zoe nodded her head. She was talking to a young boy who wanted a banana, and she smiled and handed it to him. Tallulah watched for a moment, then turned and walked into the kitchen. As she entered, she saw the elderly Black woman, Lily, standing next to the stove. She'd turned on a burner and was placing her hand over the fire.

"No!" Tallulah yelled and ran over to her. "Don't do that. You'll burn yourself."

Tallulah grabbed her hand and turned off the burner, then looked at Lily. Her face was dirty, and her brown eyes were sunken into her face. She looked lost. Her lips were chapped and dry.

She looked up at Tallulah. "I just wanted to see if I could still feel," she said softly.

"Just want to feel?" Tallulah led her away from the stove. "You could badly burn yourself."

Lily stared at her and said, "You are so pretty. I was pretty once. I had dresses and a lily in my hair." Tallulah didn't speak. Lily continued. "I had beautiful hair. Good hair, like my daddy."

"Let's go back into the dining room, okay?" Tallulah gently grabbed her hand, and Lily placed her other hand on Tallulah's.

"Okay. Soon it will be time. I'm not ready. I need my makeup and my dress. Can you help me find my dress? I think Amanda took it." Lily's lip began to quiver. Her eyes filled with tears, and she yanked her hand away from Tallulah

"You helped her take my dress! That's mine. Why did she take everything? Why did she take my dress?!"

Tallulah stepped back. She didn't know what to do, so she ran out of the kitchen and quickly returned with Zoe, who looked at Lily and slowly walked over to her.

"Lily," she said in a soft, low tone. Lily looked at Zoe, with tears running down her face.

"My dress. It's gone. It's all gone." Lily put both her hands to her face and sobbed.

Zoe wrapped her hands around her shoulders. "It's okay, Lily. Come on, let's go to the dining room."

She gently led Lily out of the kitchen and sat her at a table, then kneeled next to her. "Lily, it's okay. I know where we can get you a better dress, okay?"

Lily nodded. "You can't tell Amanda."

Zoe nodded.

As Lily sat and rocked back and forth, she muttered to herself. Zoe stood up and walked over to Tallulah, who looked flushed.

"She was trying to burn her hand. She said she wanted to feel," Tallulah said in a hushed voice.

"She's okay. She's always talking about Amanda and a dress. I'm not sure what she means," Zoe said, looking worried.

"Where does she come from?" Tallulah asked.

Zoe shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not sure. Anna would probably know." She looked around the room. "She's over at the front door. Let's finish serving, then we can talk to her."

Tallulah nodded and said, "Okay."

She then looked back at Lily, watching her rock back and forth. She watched her for a few more seconds, then joined Zoe in the serving line.

"We're getting more and more people," Anna said, sitting across the table from Tallulah as she sipped her coffee. The dining hall was empty. A few volunteers were sweeping, but the dining hall had been cleared. "We rely on donations and volunteers," Anna said. "I'm glad you decided to join us today. As you see, we really need the help."

"You're really doing a good thing here, Anna. I write for Big World," Tallulah said.

"Big World?" Anna asked.

"It's a small independent newspaper. We write about the community, local events...stuff like that," Tallulah said. "I was thinking about running a story on the new homeless shelter. I remember hearing about it, but then things went silent. What happened?"

Anna's fingers circled the rim of her coffee cup. "Well, we'd raised most of the money through private funding, some government funds too, but private funds really carried the heavy load." She shifted in her chair. "We'd secured a large amount from an anonymous source. This person or persons pledged over $250,000."

Tallulah eyes widened. "That's great."

Anna said, "I thought so too, until I received a certified letter saying the funding had been taken back. The donor simply changed their mind. No explanation, no nothing."

"Did you ever find out who the donor was?" Tallulah asked.

Anna shook her head. "No. The money was just gone."

Zoe walked over, sat down, and pulled the hair net off her small twist. "I'm beat. I think it was busier than last Sunday."

Anna smiled. "You have been a godsend, Zoe. Bringing food, cooking food, serving food. I'm very thankful."

Zoe smiled. "I'm glad I reached out. It seems like such a waste to throw out food. Besides, I love to cook, and cooks love to see people eat their food…and like it. So when I see these people eat, they are truly grateful. It makes me feel good."

"So, I heard you had an encounter with Lily," Anna said, looking towards Tallulah.

"Yeah, she really scared me. She was trying to burn herself," she replied.

Anna's face looked serious. "We've had this problem with her before. I've tried to get her in housing, but she likes to be on the street. Sometimes she seems to be very aware. We talk about getting her off the street, her family. I know she has a brother, but that's all I know. Other times, like today, she just seems lost, incoherent, dazed.

Tallulah looked at Zoe, then back at Anna. "Anna," she said, "I'd like to write a story about the shelter. Maybe generate some interest for donations. Maybe I could help Lily. Maybe I can find her family. Someone to help her."

Anna nodded. "That would great. We're doing okay for now, but as it gets colder, we'll begin to overflow…and then we'll have to turn people away."

"Where do they go?" Tallulah asked.

"Anywhere they can,��� Anna said.

Anna stood up. "Thank you for helping out today. Before you leave, be sure to get my card. We can set up a time to talk about the shelter." She walked over to Tallulah and hugged her.

Zoe stood up. "I have to grab a few things in the kitchen. I'll be right back."

Tallulah nodded and watched Zoe walk through the large doors into the kitchen. She then looked around the room and decided to walk around the place while waiting for Zoe. She found a hallway leading away from the dining area and walked down the hall, admiring the children's artwork hanging on both hallway walls.

At the end of the hall was a door that led outside. Tallulah stepped through the threshold of the door into an alley. She felt a slight chill in the air, but not cold enough to see your breath. She looked around and turned to walk back in when she heard what she thought maybe singing.

She listened for a moment, not quite sure what she was hearing. She then turned around and slowly walked toward the sound. As she got closer, the sound became clearer: It was singing. She stopped next to a dumpster and peeked around the corner. Lily was sitting down, knees pressed up to her chest. She wore a blue and red ski hat and a large grey button down coat. Her black combat boots were covered in dirt. Her eyes were closed as she sang.

Tallulah listened to the sound; it was beautiful. Her voice filled the tiny area of the alley. It was cool and sultry. She listened, not making a sound.

She knelt next to Lily, who continued to sing, then opened her eyes and stared at Tallulah.

"Grandma," she said. "I wrote that a long time ago. I was so afraid the day we recorded it." She giggled. "I had on a blue dress. It was so beautiful. Blue was her favorite color." Lily swayed her head back and forth.

"Lily," Tallulah said, "it's getting cold. Let's go inside."

Lily looked at her. "No," she said. "I like the cold. I can feel the cold."

Tallulah stood up and shivered as a gust of wind passed by. "What were you singing? It was beautiful."

Lily looked up at her and giggled. "Grandma."

"Grandma," Tallulah echoed. "I've never heard it before."

"No one has," said Lily.

She was standing up, and as she prompted her body up from the ground, her voice sounded low and gruff. She slowly raised from the ground and was now standing directly in front of Tallulah.

"I wrote it. Well, I wrote the words. Owen did most of the music. He had a gift. Now, they say white men don't have soul, but Owen…now, he had soul." She turned and walked down the alley. Tallulah started to call after her, but Lily said, "I'll be back for dinner!"

She waved at Tallulah with her back to her. Tallulah watched her walk down the alley and out of sight.

Zoe sat on the small sofa in Tallulah's apartment and watched Tallulah pace back and forth. "T…T...sit down. I'm I' tired just from watching you."

Tallulah continued to pace. Suddenly, she looked up. "I can't help it. It helps me think," she said. "You should have heard her, Zoe. Well, wait, you have. I mean, she's good. Her voice." She continued to pace. "It just makes me wonder what happened to her. I mean, we all have a story, right?" Zoe nodded. "So, listening to her sing really made me want to help her. Find her family. I dunno." She stopped pacing. "My gut tells me there's a story here. I'm not sure what, but I'm sure of it. Maybe other papers or magazines would pick it up or something."

Zoe took a deep breath. "Sit down." Tallulah sighed and sat down. Zoe leaned forward. "T, I think it'll make a good story – about the shelter. You start prying into other people's business, their lives…well, that's something else. I'm just sayin'."

Tallulah leaned back into the sofa and thought for a moment. "My gut is saying something different. I gotta go with it."

Zoe shrugged her shoulders. "Okay, I can't compete with your gut. But you be careful. Remember that one time when you thought Chloe's boyfriend was cheating? Remember the 'I gotta go with my gut' speech you gave then? Remember, T? Do you remember what happened? You got all nosy in someone's business, and what happened?" Zoe put her hand up to her ear and cupped her fingers. "What?" she said. "I didn't hear you. Oh, you want me to say it? Okay. You convinced Chloe, remember? You told this girl her dude was cheating. And what did Chloe do? What, you don't remember? Oh, I remember. Oh, well she went the hell off. She tried to cut the nigga, T, remember? She tried to cut his dick off. His dick, T. And you know she would've. You know Chloe's ass crazy and unstable. You're lucky he didn't press charges. That bitch still be locked up." Zoe shook her head. "So you just tread the fuck lightly on this one, T."

Tallulah's mouth was open as if she was going to speak, but no words came out.