chapter 1

Chapter 1

15 years ago

April

Monday is the worst day for me and it's because it's the beginning of the week hence a long transition to Friday- my favorite day into the weekend mostly because i love staying at home. If schooling wasn't a necessity or mandatory, i would totally buy the idea of staying at home for the rest of my life but education is the greatest gift you can give a child.

 My parents forced that quote into my brain since i was born. They wanted me to be successful, who could blame them. 

I step into the hallway and something unusual caught my eyes. People staring at me like i am the best thing since sliced bread but then again, i am no sliced bread, in fact, I'm the opposite in the worst way. Overly big glasses, braces, two sectioned cornrows, bright rainbow-colored armless turtleneck sweater, calf-length pleated skirt, and flats aren't exactly a sight to see except to make fun of which i guess they're doing but then again, even that has never happened before. I was invisible even with my appearance way before now so what changed?

Did i wake up uglier? 

"April!" Iris my best friend tapped my shoulder from the back and i turn to accommodate her in sight. 

"Hey, sorry i took off on Saturday, i got crushed..."

Iris cut me off

"You haven't been online have you?"

"No, what's there to see?" I take out a textbook from my locker. 

"This" she shoves an image on her phone to my face

"What the hell!" I whisper in shock and bewilderment

My whole fucking love confession to Jordan on Messenger was sent to the entire school.

Unable to fight back the tears, i hurry into the toilet.

"Who did this?" I sniffle as i pace back and forth, shameful tears pouring down my cheeks.

"Did you tell him about it on Saturday?"

I think it's high time i told you about what happened on Saturday. The worst day of my life. 

******

Prom day, an opportunity for high schoolers to dress to kill, elect king and queen, make-out session and other engagements but i, on the other hand, was on a mission to tell Jordan i have a crush on him. Call me crazy but i own a relationship podcast that encourages the need to always express your feelings to someone you like cause life is too short to be regretful. I am about to listen to my own words and follow my podcast advice. 

Thanks to Iris for encouraging me to do this cause honestly, i don't think i might be able to pull this off on my own. She gave me the push i needed. I tried to look less April tonight by squeezing my body in a bandage midi-length gown that once in a while cease my breathing and my mum's red bottom ankle straps. I part my 4c hair in the center, i ditched my glasses for black contact lens but my braces were a no-no. Asides that, i almost looked like Jordan's spec. Or so i thought.

After seeing Jordan alone at the far end of the ball, it was now or never. I took a deep breath before making my way to him. Take control God. 

"Hi" i slowly reduce the size of my grin after noticing it was too wide 

"Hey April" he gives me his admirable dimpled smile. He's perfect, too perfect and this was a big mistake-no it's not, you're already here so go for it-ok.

I always lose to my subconscious self.

"You know my name" definitely not a question. He literally knows my name.

Now or never.

I remained silent in the awkward situation and he seemed to notice my uneasiness. 

"You good? Do you need anything?"

I hurriedly grabbed his arm into the exterior balcony and without wasting a second, i kissed him. And yes you can say that was the worst decision ever cause my braces wrecked my romantic moment. 

"I like you Jordan and i sent you a message on messenger to express how i feel but i never got a blue tick nor your reply and i thought maybe if i could tell you in person..." I stopped midway my rambling.

"Errrm... Okay" still shocked i supposed 

And after a while of silence, i asked myself, What.the.fuck.just.happened?.

And just like that, he walked out of sight. 

I didn't know whether to cry or laugh at my stupid self for thinking and comparing this situation to my podcast relationship channel. At the end of the day, i knew for sure i didn't belong here so i went home with my broken heart.

******

So that was what happened over the weekend and now the entire school is aware of everything that transpired. Fuck.me.

"This is bad iris" i drop my face in my palm.

"You know what, screw Jordan, screw that message and screw the entire school, you shouldn't give a damn about what anyone thinks, you were brave for telling and you shouldn't regret or feel bad" she opens her arms to hug me and i trap myself in her embrace.

"Thanks"

But the truth is, i regret everything i did. 

" Hey loser, did you really think you had a shot with my boyfriend?" Macy and her two minions walk into the restroom. 

"Guess she thought she was Cinderella for a heartbeat" Maddy scoffed.

"Nice try weirdo, next time look the part before the interview slut" 

She pours the smoothie in her hand on my flats.

"Oops, not sorry, there's more where that came from let's go girls." 

They leave.

"Iris.." I burst into tears

"Oh dear come here" 

It's official, today is the worst day of my life.

_