chapter 6

Chapter 6

April

My reflection was lying to me.

How can i feel so complete yet incomplete? 

So far I'd been lucky. Got a good job that pays me very well, will soon complete my mortgage payments, have amazing friends, got a car, i am happy.

Though sometimes i suffer from all the symptoms of a mid-life crisis, comparing myself to my friends, wondering if I'll ever find more fulfillment in life, i am still happy and contented.

Megan was right. I do need the D.

I took another glance at myself in the bathroom mirror, carefully looking for where i might start wrinkling out. 

Are you truly happy? I ask myself. 

"Of course i am," i answered. 

We both know that's a facade.

"I'm not talking to you anymore" 

Gosh, my subconscious self is so daring and nosy. 

It's Sunday and what i mostly do on Sundays is give Kinglee my attention starting with a walk down to the park and then back. Poor puppy only gets to spend the weekend with me. I've messaged my mum to let me drop him off on every Monday morning before i head to work and pick him up on Friday evening and I'm beyond thankful she obliged. 

I can't bear to see his sad and lonely eyes on nights i arrive from work. 

I felt myself smiling when he jumped at me.

"Ok, it's time to go" 

As we walk down the road, i couldn't help but see two people kissing in a car parked by the opposite side of the road. 

It made me remember Luke.

He was my rock, my soul and everything.

Attentive, caring, very thoughtful and compassionate. He remembered even the little thing and seemed to be everything i wanted in a man. And when he proposed, that night at Pacific Bay's, it was a fairy tale. It was perfect, he was perfect until our wedding day. He stood me up on the altar and sent me a text indicating his love for someone else and that was it. 

Love is a vulnerable feeling and i don't ever want to feel that way again. 

A buzz from my phone jolted me back to present and when i looked ahead, i couldn't find Kinglee. I panicked and it worsened when i got to the end of the road and still couldn't find him. 

"Kinglee" i called out. 

A couple of people volunteered to help me look for King and by evening, a thirty man search party was on the lookout for my puppy.  

What if something bad happened to him? 

We all proceeded into the woods with torchlights and headlamps as the search continued.  

I cursed under my breath for getting so carried away in thought.  

The search went on and no one gave up. It felt good to be surrounded by such caring neighbors. His picture had already been pasted at significant places across town with my number to call if found. I checked my phone every ten seconds for any possible missed call but none surfaced. 

Its twelve midnight and there's still no word about King. I fear the worst must have happened. 

He could be hungry, cold, scared and in danger. 

I am losing my mind in this oblivious state. 

Everyone had gone back to their houses with the promise of continuing the search in the morning but i fear it might be too late.

Poor King. 

My phone finally rang around two in the morning and it was news regarding King. Someone took him in in the afternoon when she figured he must have been a strayed animal. 

I took off in my car, silently thanking God for making me find him. 

When i arrive at the place of the woman who took my cute puppy in, i was shocked to find Kinglee happy and eating. I spent the entire day worried and looking for him while he was having the best of the moment. 

"Here" the old Lady handed me a cup of tea. 

I hadn't had breakfast, lunch nor dinner and only remembered until now. 

"Thank you so much, Mrs..."

"Lauren"

"Mrs. Lauren. Thank you so much" 

"He behaved quite well, I'll be happy to have him over again" 

I just might take her up on that offer if my mum doesn't take care of him starting from tomorrow. 

Oh shit.

I've only got four hours to sleep before work. 

"I've got to hurry Mrs. Lauren, I'll be sure to bring him over some other time" 

The hour back home was silent. It felt like he knew he did something wrong. But i couldn't blame him. I'm human and supposed to be the smarter one. 

I didn't reprimand nor shout at him. 

Instead, I gave him a warm bath and then covered him with a blanket in his bed right across mine. I sighed in relief.

Its been a long stressful day and like every other night, i set the blue tooth to play on repeat the tranquil sound of ocean waves lashing against the rock by the bank.

I closed the blinds, turned off the lights, took off all my clothes and buried myself naked between the duvet and the bed. I didn't have the energy to shower.

"Good night Kinglee" 

He meowed in return. 

And that was how i found my solace in the song and finally gave myself into the word 'sleep'.