Ch18. Four hundred thirty-two

Tony snorted to himself and leaned back on his chair, baffled disbelief written on his face.

"Four hundred thirty-two fake non-profit organizations, each getting a sum ranging from a few hundreds of thousands to a few tens of millions per year. You gotta be shitting me." He complained to himself.

"What are you talking about, Tony?" An enticingly sleepy voice suddenly pulled him out of his reverie, causing him to look in the direction from where it came only for his eyes to land on Natasha half-lying, half-sitting on his couch, her clothes ruffled as she was drowsily rubbing the sleep out of her eyes before yawning... cutely.

'Okay, brain, do not go there. That was definitely not cute. Dangerous, yes. Cute, nope. Not one bit. That woman seduces men for a living. Down boy.' Tony admonished himself.

Yes, he had to admit, Natasha Romanoff was an utterly gorgeous redhead and probably would be his wet dream if he just met her on the street and didn't know her but he did not intend to touch that with a ten feet long stick until he could trust her. Which meant never.

"Nothing. I just realized there is someone stealing money from me." Tony answered lightly, helplessly shrugging his shoulders in a 'what can you do' gesture.

Natasha frowned at that and her eyes gained a difficult glean. "Do you need my help?" She eventually asked and Tony involuntarily gave her a blank stare.

He understood what she meant by that. Natasha was an assassin. There were not many ways she could help him with someone stealing money from him. Tony was mostly shocked beyond words she offered.

Not only did it go against SHIELD regulations but could cause huge problems for her if found out... The super-secret organization did not like its killers killing for anyone else than them, after all.

Tony knew it also went against Natasha's personal ideals so ger offering this was... mind-blowing.

Tony inwardly frowned as he watched the serious expression Natasha was donning. He even briefly flickered his empathy into activation before instantly deactivating it, mentally cringing as the foreign emotions hit him for a second with the intensity of Japanese Truck God despite being not overly, well, emotional. But he found out Natasha was actually serious. 'I guess she really came to terms with being a killer in the orange realm.'

Tony pursed his lips, studying Natasha with his eyes, making her visibly uncomfortable when he didn't say anything for a few moments. Then, he suddenly snorted at her, showing her just how funny he ridiculous the idea. "As funny as watching you try assassinating this particular person would be, I don't think it would be good for your continued good health, Red."

"Why?" Natasha furrowed her brows. "Who is stealing from you?" She had a gut feeling she won't like the answer but she was too curious for her own good.

"Eh, he is black, frowny, one-eyed, and likes motherfuckers almost as much as glaring. I am sure you have met." Tony nonchalantly quipped, causing Natasha's jaw to drop on the floor. Before she could recollect herself Tony already finished pondering on what to do next. "Speaking of which..." He grinned and spun on his chair towards the window.

He loved those with small wheels that gave him freedom of movement!

The window dimmed and an image appeared on it. Image of one Nicholas Fury sitting in his office and doing... whatever superspy administrators do in their work hours. Nothing interesting, Tony was sure.

Natasha instantly recognized Tony hacked the camera on Fury's computer and the hairs on her body stood from fright. She knew Tony. He was about to do something utterly ridiculous and probably dangerous as heck. Before she managed to even start stuttering her panicked attempt to stop him, Fury's head suddenly snapped upward, his sole eye coming in contact with the screen of his computer and widening in shock.

Natasha could only silently whimper as she realized she was right behind Stark, and therefore, fully visible in the background of the video call.

'Damn it, Tony!' She inwardly groaned, fully aware Tony did it totally on purpose. Deciding it was not her problem, and let her body flop back onto the couch as she wrapped herself in the surprisingly extremely comfortable blanket. It was big enough to hide her face too so there was that...

From the state of her clothes, Fury would have his own assumptions on what went on and she couldn't explain the situation nonverbally. That was impossible even for her. She was not looking forward to explaining to Fury that she didn't have sex with Tony Stark and that she just fell asleep in his office either. That conversation was one she would gladly avoid if she could.

...

Nicholas Fury was hunched over his table, going through various reports from his agents. Since he became the Director of SHIELD, this was his job and he hated every second of it. He almost wished for the world to be threatened so he could escape this mind-numbing desk job for a little while longer.

Then he remembered the debacle with Kree and Skrulls and these thoughts vanished in an instant.

No... he would take a boring desk job instead of that kind of shit any day.

He suddenly heard a sound comparable to the wheels of a chair rolling on the ground coming from his supposedly turned-off computer which made his body tense and his head snap upward, the reports on his desk instantly forgotten.

Nothing could have prepared Nick for the sight of condescendingly grinning Stark comfortably sitting on an office chair, looking at him with amusement written all over his face as if he was some kind of zoo animal while one of his best agents was in the background lying on a black couch and from the way her clothes were ruffled, she had some action not so long ago.

Nick's lone eye instantly widened and he was barely stopping himself from gaping when he saw Black Widow hide her face in the blanket.

What?

He might have been the hardest motherfucker around but he was still just a human!

Worse yet, how did Stark know about him?

No... how did he manage to hack SHIELD equipment?

No, no, no... Black Widow being in his office, on his couch while he called him was definitely not a coincidence!

Wait! Did Black Widow betray them? Surely not... she was smarter than that. Or was she?

And why did Stark look so smug? Sure, arrogant condescension and being a shitty smart-ass was Stark's default state but the look he gave to him almost made Nick worried! When did the little shit learn how to actually grin menacingly? Nick thought he had a patent for that!

Nick could feel a start of a profound headache creeping upon him.

"Nicky!" Stark exclaimed as if they were long-time buddies and Nick's headache suddenly got just a tad bit worse. "How are you! We didn't see each other in... never." Stark started to cheerfully prattle.

"What do you want Stark?" Nick asked in the most unamused and calm tone he could muster as he narrowed his eye at the screen.

It wouldn't do to show how uneasy he was with Stark so easily hacking SHIELD all the way to the computer of the Director. Somebody would be fired today. That was for sure.

Stark's cheerful and friendly demeanor suddenly did one-eighty at that and even Nick was secretly taken aback as his smile widened but suddenly became dangerous.

"I will make this extremely simple for you, Fury." Stark said in a no-nonsense tone of an uninterested businessman. "Four hundred thirty-two. Does that number ring any bell?"

And Nick grew even more confused than before.