01

I sighed and closed my phone. I stared at my ceiling, completely worn out, eyes swollen and aching, and my phone was beside me.

That was exactly it. We both were the ideals of each other and that's what attracted the both of us, why we became friends that were greatly attached to each other.

If you ask me what I remember from elementary, it was your hair. Your ever messy hair. You never bothered to comb it. It was all over the place. At first, it did bother me but after years of being with you, I was always seeing it from the first thing in the morning when you'd give me a wake up call, it was one of the things I loved about you. I'm not gonna lie that it's one of the things I needed and wanted to see everyday.

Do you still keep the same hairstyle everyday, Diesel? I still have your slippers in my room. A couple of your shirts and jogging pants that you always used and kept here whenever you slept over, as well. You practically lived with me. Half of my closet was filled with your clothes. Auntie never took it away from me because she said that maybe you have your reasons for leaving it in here, maybe a remembrance? I'm glad, though, that you left them here.

Remember when it was our summer break? The next year we would be high schoolers but we were still acting like children. Running outside the house, playing till we're content, then coming home smelling like sweat. I remembered complimenting you.

"Why do you still smell like your perfume? We already sweated a lot," I'd tell you while walking you home.

You'd chuckle and ruffle my hair knowing that you were taller than me. "Tiberius, you just stink, that's just it!"

It was one of the things I loved about you as well. The smell of your natural odor mixed with the smell of your perfume that you used since we were small up until high school.

That's why I'm kinda upset that your clothes don't smell like you anymore. I mean, it's been a year since I last saw you.

Should I sleep? Should I stay awake? Ah, the daily choices I make. But I have classes tomorrow. I guess I still should sleep even if my classes will start during the afternoon. I'll still do it anyway. I'm kinda pitying my body for having coffee as my blood already.

The day after tomorrow, I should probably go visit auntie. That'll be a Sunday, huh? For now, I should probably force myself to sleep.

•

"Tiberius, bro!" I tried to find the voice of the person who was calling me, but I already guessed that it was Darwin from the other department.

To be honest, I don't know why he talks to me when we don't even have many classes together and we rarely see each other on campus but I just let him talk to me. I don't like being rude although Diesel classified me as one.

Ah, I unconsciously thought about him again.

"Yo, Darwin. What do you want?" I kept away my earphones and continued to walk while he was blabbing about god knows what. I didn't really pay attention to what he was saying, twas always like that so I think he doesn't mind.

"Man, you're unfair. You never heard a single thing I said, did you?!" he laughed and slapped my back.

I chuckled. "My bad. I promise I will next time. I gotta go," I waved at him and walked to where my room was and waited for our prof to come.

I just plugged in my earphones since I don't really like socializing with my blockmates. I prefer to stay alone than to talk to them. All they do is talk about the same things. I mean, maybe it's not part of my interests that's why I don't bother talking to them. I don't really mind not having that many friends.

•

"We have a quiz next week, please study! And don't forget about your homeworks. That's all for today, you're dismissed."

I packed my stuff and brought out my phone. That was my last class and I'm headed home. It's not that far since I'm staying at a condo near school.

When I arrived, I took a bath, made my dinner, sat beside the window while sipping from the cup of tea I made while eating my dinner. I was planning to study until midnight but I guess I'll try and study for a couple of hours only. I'm lazy as f*ck.

I picked up my phone from the table and opened the lock screen. I suddenly stopped and stared at the picture. It was us during highschool. We were both smiling so widely. You can clearly see how happy we were when you see the picture. His arms were around my shoulder and his other hand was making a peace sign. I was also smiling but I was looking at him. My hair was flowing because of the wind and so was his.

It was actually nice because the background was the sunset and there were leaves falling. It was like from the movies that you typically see. When you and your lover would take a selfie during a date and you capture that perfect moment, the perfect angle, perfect emotions, and the perfect background. That's what it looked like.

I shook my head and finally opened my phone. I scrolled through my contacts to look for auntie's number and texted her immediately. I informed her that I would be passing by on Sunday morning.

I stood up with my plate and cup, washed it. After, I took notebooks and a folder with all my documents needed for the fucking subject that I have to study. To be honest, that professor is kinda strict but he's REALLY lazy creating his exam questions. I mean, you get all the answers from the notes about the lectures that he gives us. He just basically copies it and puts it on the paper.

I started to highlight parts which I know he would put in the exams and took note of it. I studied for I don't know how many hours and when I felt my neck aching, I guess I took it as a sign to stop.

I don't like not doing anything. Everytime I'm not doing something, he randomly pops up in my head. Like how small he is. Haha, man he really didn't grow that much anymore. He used to ruffle my hair when we were younger but I was the one who did it when we got older. He also liked to ask me for piggy back rides even when he knew how heavy he was.

I didn't even have a choice. He'd use his puppy eyes and face with me and I'd end up saying yes. He never really knew that I admired him. I didn't want to confuse him about his sexuality nor did I want to tell him about mine.

When I first saw him during elementary, his lashes were the ones that captivated me. They were long and thick. It perfectly complimented his small eyes and light brown iris which shines everytime it was hit by sunlight. I was always mesmerized by his eyes. It always magnetized me.

Haa.. here I go again. Thinking about him. See, that's why I don't like not doing anything. My head suddenly gets infiltrated by him. By memories of us, by memories of him.

I covered my eyes with my arms. I'm lying down but it seems like I won't really get a good night's sleep tonight either. I haven't slept peacefully since that day, but I try.