Blowing Up

"Spencer, I'm open," one of my teammates scream to me. I'm running with two people behind me and I'm trying to pinpoint the correct way to throw the ball perfectly. My eyes land on the boys football team practicing and I see Chester.

My blood boils watching him run laps with his team. That asshole!

With a strength of a bull, I throw the ball to my teammate. The ball shoots with the speed of a bullet towards her and smacks her right in the chest. I watch her face scrunch in pain and all the girls pause practice.

She bends down, holding her chest and trying to catch her breath. Coach runs over to her and asks if she's ok and starts checking her. She shows coach her chest right above her breasts and there's a big, purplish bruise forming.

"What the hell is your problem, Spencer," the girl I hurt yells at me. I stay in my place, feeling guilty. I tell her I'm sorry, but I think she's too angry to hear my apology.

"Okay, ladies. That's the end of practice," coach yells out. "Go to the nurse," she tells the girl and she walks away, glaring at me.

Coach walks over to me, shaking her head in disappointment. She stops only a couple of inches away from me, but she's close enough so that I'm the only one that hears her.

"What's going on, Spencer? You just hurt one of your teammates. You can't injure one of your teammates. We have important games coming up," she says. I sigh, feeling really guilty.

"I'm so sorry coach. I didn't realize how hard I threw the ball," I tell her.

"It's okay. Just make sure it doesn't happen again. We need every single player here present at each game. There's going to be scouts at those games. I know you're a junior and it may not matter to you, but there are seniors on the team and they've been waiting for this moment for years."

"No, I do understand how important it is for them. This won't happen again."

"Okay. Get home safe, Spencer," coach says and I go to the bench to take my cleats off. The rest of the team already left the field. My eyes drift over to the football team practicing again, but I shift them away again because that's what made me react so stupidly in the first place.

"Spencer, what the hell is wrong with you," I hear someone tell me for the second time today. I look to the side when Jamie sits down next to me. "I understand you're going through a break up and everything, but you hurt Claire pretty bad," she says.

"I know that. No need to keep rubbing it in my face. I feel bad enough already. I just got really mad and it was a stupid thing to do," I tell her. She scoffs.

"Honestly, Spencer, you just need to get over him. Everyone's getting tired of this bad attitude you're in," she says all pissed at me. I couldn't believe the things she was saying.

"Why are you saying that," I ask Jamie, in bewilderment. When she was going through her break up with Parker, I was understanding and I comforted her. I didn't push her to forget about him. She knows how much I care about Chester.

"I didn't tell you this before because I didn't want to hurt you, but everyone knows Chester's a joke. He doesn't take any girl seriously and he's always the first to break up with them. At this point, girls know not to run around heartbroken because they know what type of guy Chester is. He's a player."

"Then why are you just telling me this now? If that were true, a good friend would have told me sooner. I don't believe that. It sounds like you're telling me I'm being dramatic because I'm upset about my break up," I say in disbelief. "I have every right to be upset. How would you have felt if I told you that you were being dramatic when Parker broke up with you?"

"It's not the same thing," she starts to say, but I cut her off.

"It's not the same because he's player? It's not the same because I don't love him? Is not the same because none of my friends are even trying to comfort me like I would have done for them in the same situation?" I ask all these questions knowing she couldn't give me an answer.

After every single time I've helped these girls get out of shitty situations, they couldn't even do the same thing for me. I feel upset about a break up and they expect me to act like it never happened and ignore it like they do.

"You asked me what's wrong? How about what the hell is wrong with you," I ask her. How could they be so cold towards my emotions? I'm only human and expressing your feelings is always better than keeping them in.

I could tell she was starting to see her mistakes, but I just couldn't take this anymore. What's worse than losing your boyfriend is losing your friends. It's like ever since the break up, they've been distancing themselves from me more and more.

It's like once they were all happy, they didn't care that I was hurting. As long as they were happy, they didn't care about anyone else feelings. It's so selfish.

"Spencer, I-" she starts to talk, but I cut her off by walking away. She calls after me, but I ignore her. I walk past the guys practicing and my eyes meet with Alexander's. His are filled with worry, but I just roll my eyes at him. They don't get to start caring now. I've cared for all of them since day one, but none of them gave a shit about me.

I hopped into my car, but before I could drive away, Sky pops up by my car window. I'm so close to blowing a fuse.

"Hey, Spence," she says.

"Hey," I say. She better say the right words because if she doesn't I'm going to blow.

"I just wanted to know if you were sure you didn't want to meet my boyfriend tomorrow," she says and I snap.

"No offense Sky, but I don't want to meet your fucking boyfriend!"