Brother Of Mine

(Chester's Pov)

"So what do I owe the pleasure of this visit," Mark, my brother asks me. He has this cocky smile plastered on his face.

We're playing a game of mancala in the rehab centers' game room. He sits opposite of me. His hair has grown longer and his eyes look more blue than gray. He seems better than he was the last time I visited him.

"I just haven't visited you in a while," I tell him, not meeting his eyes. It's like he's scanning me to see if I'm being honest.

"Hmm. You're lying," he says and stops playing the game. It forces me to have to look up at him.

"I'm not lying. I really have missed you."

"Tell me what's really happening. You being here would mean you have nothing else to do. Has your world finally gone to shit," he jokes playfully, but seriously at the same time. I sigh and sit back in my seat. "I hope you didn't come here for me to be your therapist."

"I hate saying you're right," I whisper under my breath.

"Can you say that a bit louder," he says, messing with me. I send him a glare and he laughs. "You look like a mess," he points out.

"Sorry. I didn't put on any makeup today," I answer him sarcastically and roll my eyes. It's better to use sarcasm than having to admit that I feel like shit.

"Some girl finally got to you. I thought I would never see the day."

"Shut up, Mark."

"I'm your brother. It's my job to annoy you. Now tell me what's going on," He says, leaning over the table between us to get closer to me.

"I don't want to talk about my troubles. I don't want to think about Spencer right now," I blurt out, not realizing my mistake until it's too late.

"Ohhh, so it's that Spencer girl. You know, when her brother was here we talked a little bit. He seemed cool."

"Yeah, cool. He also forced me to jump out of a window and almost kill myself," I tell him, but he just thinks it's a joke.

"Serves you right after everything you've done in that school. Someone needs to kick your ass."

"Yeah. Someone needs to just rip my brain out of my skull and repair it because I'm a dumbass," I agree with him and he frowns.

"You never agree with me when I say things like that. You're supposed to be a cocky bastard. Seriously, tell me what happened."

"I fucked up the best thing that could ever happen to me," I whisper.

"What happened with Spencer," Mark pesters me to answer again.

"I broke up with her." He breathes out a sigh.

"I hate to say this because you know I've always hated your habits, but isn't that your typical weekday. You've broken up with many girls before."

"But it's different this time." I feel like clawing my brains out when Mark doesn't say anything right away. I think I just want him to make me feel like more of an asshole. It's what I deserve.

"Do you love her," he finally asks and I give him a puzzled look.

"Don't ask me that question," I tell him. He raises his hands up in defense.

"I was just asking and I know the answer," he teases.

"What is it," I ask him. I don't know the answer for myself, but maybe he does.

"I'm not telling you. You have to find that out for yourself."

"Do the meds they give you here make you more of an asshole? Because that's what you are." He ignores my remark.

"Well, if you did want to be with her, then I already know who told you to break up with her. That asshole Max," he pinpoints.

He never liked Max.

"Why do you even still listen to him? Why don't you just dump him," he growls at me.

"You know exactly why I can't dump him in a lake far away where he can't bother me," I growl back at him and his face turns into one of guilt.

"I'm going to be out of here soon anyways."

"That's the same thing you said last time and then you relapsed. That's the fucking reason why I'm in this mess now."

We both stay silent and it's an uncomfortable silence. I refuse to even look at him anymore. When he doesn't say anything to break the silence, I stand up from my seat.

"I should get going, Mark. I'll tell dad to bring you something for you to do while you're still here. Maybe a puzzle or something," I tell him and turn to walk away.

"Wait," he says and I stop in my tracks.

"What," I almost growl out and I can see the hurt expression on his face.

"I just wanted to say, don't peak in high school," he says.

"What is that even supposed to mean?" Mark and his riddles are going to be the death of me one day.

"I peaked in high school, Chester, and look where that got me. Don't let the best moments of your life be that you were some popular jock or ladies man in high school. You have so much more after that. That doesn't mean you should be miserable through high school either. Don't fuck everything up like I did just for some stupid thrill."

"You're not exactly a good person to be giving me advice. If I want to be with a different girl every week, so be it. It's none of your business." I don't know why I said that. I haven't been with any other girl since I met Spencer and I have no desire to be with anyone else.

"Actually, I'm the best person to give you advice about this. I know you, Chester, and I know what happens when you do shit that you regret later," he says, but I don't acknowledge him. He notices and he sighs in frustration. "Just don't hide what you really feel. If you really care about Spencer, just tell her. Don't be a dick. You never know when it's your last chance to tell someone how you really feel."

I know what he's referring to. Mark and my mom always had their issues and rivalries while she was still alive. They had their differences, but that was because they were so similar to each other. They were like magnets, but they both had the same charge. You know, opposites attract and similars repel. That's what happened with them.

No matter how many times they fought, they loved each other. Mom always made sure to show him that, but Mark was always more stubborn and never showed mom how much he really did love her. I'm sure she knew how much he loved her though. How much he still loves her.

"My situation with Spencer and yours with mom are two different things. You and mom were alike and that's why you didn't get along, but Spencer and I are nothing alike. Yes, we were attracted to each other because of all of our differences, but our attraction could only last so long before I eventually messed it up."

"Chester, that way of thinking will only get you one place. Right where I am. I'm just warning you before it's too late."

"I'll be damned if I end up like you," I say right in his face. He only looks at me with sorrow.

"Don't be mad at me. I just want the best for you. That's what big brothers are for." I look down at the ground, not liking the way he's looking at me. I eventually calm down from my war path.

"You know I can never stay mad at you for long anyways. I- I'm just going to go home." He stands up and pats me on the back.

"It was nice seeing you, even if I got you heated," he says, chuckling.

"No, it's okay."

"You'll figure everything out," he says confidently. He has too much confidence in me.

There's no way I'll be able to fix anything. Spencer and I are already on different paths.