Equally different (7)

(Lilla's POV)

I was excited but a little nervous, James helped me stay calm but couldn't get the dogs to do the same! They were running around the house and begging us to let them go outside. "I think we should let them be in the backyard, they've probably been in that cage for a long time".

He nodded, "you're right, love. I'll bring some snacks and I can make you the flower crown I promised".

I smiled and opened the back door, I didn't have to call the dogs for them to follow me. I sat on the grass and waited for daddy, thinking about how these cute babies needed names.

"There's so much food in this house!", he came outside with us, holding 3 bags of cookies.

I giggled, "our house".

He looked down and smiled, "I haven't gotten used to all of this yet… Big house, perfectly painted white walls, fancy things I'm scared I'll break, never running out of food, everything being so clean it looks like no one lives here".

I didn't know what to say, nothing felt out of place to me. I didn't think I was any different from everyone else but it seemed like people thought we belonged to completely different worlds; they thought I was perfect and happy, that money could make all my problems disappear. Yes, my family had the biggest house in the neighborhood, good cars, my dad owned one of the most successful security companies in the country, my brother was starting his career as a singer. Everyone knew Mr. And Mrs. Hudson, their famous son and their perfect daughter; but the truth is that, they didn't know what was going on between us. My dad was never home, my mom was unhappy, I was not perfect and my brother was killed, all because of our money. Kevin was the only one who cared about me, helped me do my homework, let me help him cook things we weren't allowed to eat when our housemaid wasn't looking. We were so close and he was happy with his career until those guys broke in our house and destroyed our family.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable", he apologized, seeing me getting lost in my thoughts. "This is just weird to me, that's all".

"No, don't worry, I understand", I smiled a little and he sat next to me. "I don't think we've talked about your past enough though".

He sighed, "well... it's kind of boring, I guess".

"It's not boring, I love hearing about how kind you were to your grandma and how brave you were, having all of those responsabilities". I genuinely admired him for overcoming being completely neglected by his parents and being raised by his grandmother, taking care of her when she got really sick.

"It was hard... you know, having to deal with school, working to pay for her medication while also-", he laughed, "dealing with my own issues. I had to pretend I was okay, fake being a girl just so she wouldn't be dissapointed; I couldn't let that happen, not when she raised me since day one and spent the last years of her life doing everything in her power to see me smile and make me feel like, even though my dad didn't recognize me as his kid and my mom didn't want to see me, I was wanted and loved". I saw a tear rolling down his cheek.

"I'm proud of you and I'm sure your sweet grandma is too, wherever she is", I hugged him and smiled when our dogs started licking our hands. "They're giving you kisses!".

"I hope she's still proud of me even though I couldn't be the perfect girl she probably wanted me to be. It was really hard to tell her that I was actually a boy, trapped in that body that didn't belong to me, that didn't look how it was supposed to".

I nodded, "did you start taking testosterone when she was still here?".

"I did, she was happy for me and surprised by how much and how quickly my body changed".

"I'm glad she got to see you happy and you had the chance to share your transition with her". I rested my head on his shoulder.

He kissed me softly and took my hand, "we should find some pretty flowers to make you a beautiful flower crown". We got up and started picking the prettiest flowers we could find while playing with our new babies and eating some cookies. "Hey, these cuties need names!".

"I was just thinking about that! What should we name them?".

"I don't know... the white and brown one is a girl, the black and white one is a boy. I think it would be cute if they had matching names".

I loved that idea, "yes, daddy! Maybe... flower themed or space themed".

"I like Moon for the boy", James said.

"I like that! What about Sunny or Star for the girl?", I asked.

"Star! Moon and Star, that sounds really cute, doesn't it?".

"It really does!", I hugged them and daddy put the finished flower crown on my head.

"You're such a cutie", he smiled and kissed my nose. "I love you princess".

"I love you too daddy". We went back inside soon after, we fed Moon and Star and made dinner before going to bed. He hugged me and kissed my forehead, letting me fall asleep in his arms.