Chapter 37: Bench Player

Probably everyone present was staring at Theo repeating my story earlier. He whipped out his phone, played a video and then showed it to everyone. What the fuck. It's the footage of me going inside the cave, with my surprised face. It was filmed from above the cliff and ended when I entered inside.

Theo's words were starting to become vague by the second as I was looking at everyone with most people with their phones out. I think they were filming Theo talking, but the room started to become hazy. I know exactly what was happening, but both my heartbeat and head are going too fast for me grasp on the situation.

At this point, I was starting to feel dizzy. I wanted to run away, but my body refused to move a muscle. So, I don't know how long I was dumbfoundedly standing, but it became numb enough for me to drop the empty can I was holding. It made a huge metal thump which pulled me back to consciousness.

My vision was starting to clear up. I can completely see everyone laughing and chortling around while pointing at me. There were also some people who put out their phones and started recording the thing. I look at Theo who was still talking. Right now, the topic changed from the cave to other stories I've told them which he altered a lot. I notice Cyrus just sitting down and staying silent, trying to avoid my gaze. My choice was also starting to clear up.

I start to walk fast out of the cafeteria enduring the echoing voices of name-calling and guffawing. I look down primarily because I wanted to avoid all the cameras, though I'm sure enough evidence has been made to the usual anti-Rhys gallery. I was also carefully looking if anyone would trip me, so I don't have to add more fuel to the flame. Honestly, I don't think the flame can get any hotter and bigger anyway.

Even if I was a little bit in a growing daze, I did notice that there were probably 2 or 3 people that followed me to the Cafeteria door, possibly filming me. Somehow, I managed to say a loud, "Fuck off!"

It seems I'm the one who did that, though.

I finally exit the cafeteria, now going through the main hallway. And thank God it's empty, but the weight of shame was pervading me that I wanted to throw up. Theo's stupid and annoying voice gradually disappear, too, but the previous faint words I heard are circling my brain. And every embarrassing secret I've ever told and done with them are flashing through my eyes right now.

Everything I've done with them for the past 10 years of my life are flashing through my eyes. Among all the loud silence and confusion, I ask myself, Were any of those real?

-

The only thing I'll miss about Winterville is Chai Café. Today, I got myself a Grande Macchiato and am continuously slurping it. I don't even like coffee that much, I'm just hoping that the bitterness would be enough to kill me. I'm enduring the taste so much, that I could almost forget about what happened, but it's still circling my mind. Cringing at the memory, I set the cup down and close my eyes. I breathe in and exhale the pain. But it's not enough. I want to scream. Instead, I continue drinking the Macchiato. As I keep doing so, I became more immune to the horrible taste and it started tasting fine.

I open my eyes when I sensed the table shaking. Oh, it's Purple again. She's sat opposite me, just staring at me with a pursed lip while I simply gaze back, refusing to speak.

She starts, "You're here. On a school day. Again."

I sigh, "Don't you have work to do or something?"

"Wanna maybe look around?"

My eyebrows furrowed before I checked my surrounding, only now noticing that I'm the only customer here. I don't say anything and take a sip.

Purple asks, "What is it?"

"What is what?"

She raised a brow, "You tell me."

I don't reply again, but this time she also doesn't. It's as if we're playing the staring contest except the rule is whoever breaks the silence loses. Why am I even doing this? I should've just stayed at home and maybe watched TV. I guess that would be useless, though, because they cancelled the UEFA. And I thought that was the worst thing to happen this week. Hm.

"You know soccer, right?"

"Do I look like I'm 2 years old?"

I roll my eyes and breathe in, "A soccer player is about to join a really important tournament for the first time. You see, they have a little sister who's cheering them on, and they don't want to fail her. So, this person has been prepping for it for months and everything was going accordingly. Until the last minute, their leg just started hurting. And it continued for days, and they don't know why. They can walk, but it's hard to run, let alone to be on the field. But he still played the first game, but of course he didn't hit any goals at all. What's worse is that their leg hurt even more. It feels like if they enter the field again, it's about fall of from their body. But, if they abandon the job now, they're gonna fail the little sister who's watching hopefully the entire game. So," I breathe in, "should they just keep enduring the pain for her? Or should they just give up, fail and be replaced with a substitute?"

Purple was seriously listening to me and studying my words carefully the entire time. She looks away for a second to think and reply, "Why is it considered giving up if they're hurting?"

I blink, "What?"

"I mean, this person is clearly hurt. They can't do anything about that. The pain is going to get even worse if they don't take the right time to heal it. And as they do, that doesn't mean they're giving up. Being a bench player doesn't mean you're not a part of the game. The sister would understand that! If she's really cheering on for this guy, she would understand what they're going through and that you tried your best. Don't let anyone else's wish determine your decision. It's your life. You go first. You can't force yourself to go above the limit if it means you're already hurting. It doesn't mean stop; it means pause."

I smile and shake my head, "No, you don't look like you're 2 years old." We both laugh and I add, "Just, maybe your hair."

She smiles, "What a unique metaphor to mask the problem."

"Who said I had a problem?"

"Oh, wait, you do?"

I roll my eyes.

She goes on, "Now if you don't mind, maybe you can mope around somewhere else. Drowning yourself with coffee is not the best idea. Go to a fancy restaurant something. Aren't you, like, super rich?"

My eyes widen, "Oh, right! I have a Monthsary date later! I guess this day can still be saved." Purple almost looks disgusted, but she doesn't say anything. I drink once again and almost puked it out. "This is bitter as hell! Who would drink this?"

"You've been downing that for 10 minutes straight."

For some reason, my senses came back, and I couldn't give myself to finish it anymore.

A customer enters the place and Purple stands up to greet, "Hey Floyd! You're late." She goes back to the counter, "The usual?"

"As usual! Thanks." Floyd greets back and takes a seat.

Purple snarks, "Our therapy session ends here, Rhys. Kinda sucks that my own patient doesn't know my name, though." Before disappearing to the storage room.

Casually, I whisper to the customer, "Hey, uh, do you know her name?"

"You mean Indigo? Man, I've seen you flirting with her and you couldn't even get the damn name? Sheesh." He chuckles.

She found it annoying I thought her name was Violet or Purple and her name ends up being Indigo. Sheesh, indeed.

"I wasn't flirting with her… she already has a girlfriend. And besides, I already have one special to me, too."