Chapter 45: Raging Storm

"You even did your poem. Let's hear it."

I never held back when it came to art, so it was easy showing mine. But when it came to anything else, that's when it gets real. I might have proven myself, but for the first time, I might open up now in an obscure way. And that's a whole other thing. I'm also not even entirely sure of the poem I wrote and why I wrote it. Whatever the reason may be, it's as if I'm writing it for someone, and I didn't do it right for that person. And that's what I'm afraid of.

I finally take a glance of the classroom and realize that everyone was still waiting, with a few still whispering. On a lighter note, I'm also nervous about the poem itself. I was never good with words and I don't read books. Heck, I even only open my schoolbooks at least once a month. I got some of my vocabulary resources from Jacob's journal, and Grumbly helped me out a bit too. Accidentally. And some more words from RhymeZone.

But, oh well, fuck it.

I take a deep breath and start.

"I had always assumed the rain followed me wherever

From when I've awoken and when the day was over

It always made me want to abandon hope and hide

That made me feel I was the unluckiest man alive

So there I was, walking the woods of the great unknown

As I was staring at the face of abandonment alone

But when I was on the verge of the cliff edge's blue

The cliff edge lead me anew, it lead me all to you

And suddenly, as the rain constantly drop at my scene

They fall and turn tranquil like a pond, so serene

So, I whisper and concede, and whine and vaunt

You are the only thing my heart could ever want

You are the sun amidst the raging storm inside of me

And the smallest light that you shine can help me see

If we intertwine what we both have been longing for

We can make new colors no one's ever seen before"

I didn't even notice my eyes were watery until one, singular tear fell down to the paper once I was done reading. Mr. Teach was complimenting me again, I think, and then some people in class clapped, but I couldn't focus. I didn't even check this poem after I wrote it. Once I was done reading, it suddenly hit me what it was all about—who it was all about.

Hearing the thunder noise, I look to my right and the lightning flashed to the direction of the cave. Yeah, it was for her. It's always her.

And I want to go to her right now. I need to go to her. I need her.

I drop the poem to the floor and go towards the door in a sense of rush. I run along the hallways forth the parking spot exit. I still felt a little worn out and woozy from my depressive episode yesterday, but I kept running. While I was, it never fully occurred to me how dumb I'm acting right now. But I don't know. It just felt right.

On my peripheral, I vaguely see a familiar face also walking through the halls. It's Piera, viewing the latest Winter Word Wrap which has me on the headlines, obviously.

Stopping and taking a quick breath, I took approximately one whole nanosecond to use my brain. I shout aloud, "Piera Shay!"

She looks startled and speechless.

I shout louder, "More like PIECE OF SHIT!"

The current face she has was the exact way I imagined her to be from yesterday. I wanted to say the rest of the things I thought of yesterday, and also tell it to her friends, but I just needed justone boost of adrenaline while I'm in a rush.

I continue running to the parking lot until I reach it. I barely brought anything with me, so naturally, I wouldn't have my umbrella. Well, whether or not I do bring anything with me, I wouldn't have it anyway. All of a sudden, someone clears their voice behind me. I slowly turn around because I recognize it.

"Rhys." Jessica intertwines her fingers.

"I don't want to hear it." I put the keys on my dirt bike hastily.

"Wait, listen!" Jessica says desperately. I hesitantly stop to listen without facing her, "You were right. I was a little ashamed yesterday because of what I've done. I thought you were just this random loser but the more I knew you, the more I realized you were much more than that. This does sound stupid or whatever but I'm sorry if I hurt you. So, don't hate me, because I don't hate you, okay?"

"No," I reply quickly, "How about you just go fuck yourself? I don't know what you ate that night of the party, but your vagina tastes like shit."

Same reaction. And I was already pleased from Piera's earlier but looks like we have one more guest.

"Hannah, I know you're behind her." I call out and waited before she I could see her carrying her phone with her to film me, "Oh you didn't have to show yourself. You could've just stayed like that, 2nd place."

Game over. Hannah almost stopped recording, but I snatched it from her hands and directly faced the lens. Might as well end it with a signature look. With a smirk, I say aloud "And to everyone who's watching this, hope all those years of training bullying Rhys Harrison look good in your resume. 'Cause I don't hire easily." I throw the phone back to one of them and stepped on my bike.

I take a deep breath and one step forward made me drenched immediately. I turn it on and start driving away from school. When I've finally reached some distance away from the school, I laugh to myself. That was insane. And it felt amazing. It makes sense why people do this to me. I just can't believe it took me this long to do the same back to them. I take a deep exhale and focus on the road because there is another much more important matter at hand. Some music would be fitting right now but putting it out with all this rain would instantly wreck it. And plus, that's just going to waste some time.

As I was driving, the rain become worse and worse, and its roaring sounds became louder and louder. Let's just listen to that for a while.

~

rain fell down

we were unbound

you stayed and prayed

but i'm afraid

~

At this very moment, everything is starting to clear up to me. Whenever I felt down, I would go to the cave. When I had a bad day, I would go at the cave. When I just felt like it, I would go in the cave. Because I wanted to see her. How was I completely wrong? It was always the other way around. I wasn't the sun in her storm. She's the sun in mine.

~

rain on us

we felt no luck

yet you still prayed

but i was still afraid

~

Midway through town, I saw my house for a small bit and abruptly stop in the middle of the almost-empty road. I remember her flower clown that I left in my bed. I change my direction so I could go grab it real quick. I scoff when I realized. I didn't even notice how much she's always in my thoughts. And how much I've always cared about her.

~

do you think that lightnings are

bright enough so we can start

to see what we hide in our hearts

and maybe stop to fall apart

~

I quickly make my way upstairs and grab the flower crown, all dry. And for some reason, it was all brown and looks like it was withering.

While I was observing it, I heard another thunderous racket from outside. Through my window, I saw another lightning hit in the direction of the cave. I run back downstairs, and I think I passed by Auntie and she said something to me… but I couldn't respond. My heartbeat faster but it's not the adrenaline anymore. I didn't know why, but I felt like something was wrong.

~

and do you think the thunder noise

can disguise me from my voice

that didn't shout what's in my heart

so we fell apart

~

All I knew is that I wanted to go to her right now. Needed to go to her.

Like, as a sense of yearning.

A sense of desiring.

Longing.

Belonging.