Xavier

My Mind quickly wanders to Xavier. He Must Be ravished. I head down to The Kitchens. Fortunately, with it Being this late in the Evening, only one Chef is on Duty.

"Good Evening, Chef." I Acknowledge.

"Your Majesty!" She jumps to her feet, rushing over to Serve me. She curtsies.

"I am in the Mood for a large, hot Meal." I Say. "Preferably meats and vegetables, a warm mug of mead, and fresh sliced fruit."

"Of course, my QUEEN."

I take a seat at the large wooden table, watching her Prepare each Individual portion of the Requested Meal. A fresh leg of lamb sears on the fires of the range while she whisks together a cool mint puree, the mouth-watering Scent of roasted carrots, onion, and potatoes wafting through the air. She unseals a new barrel of her finest mead, pouring a Sample for her Self. She Tastes and Pours a full mug, placing it on the tray in front of me. I nod Gratefully. She bows her head before continuing.

She turns and slices the lamb, its juices sizzling.. Utensils are laid out Properly, and a small Sampling plate and set of utensils is set out to Confirm Safety. She washes a bowl of fresh fruit, and Inspects it Carefully. She slices two apples, a banana, and three small oranges, Placing a slice of each upon her plate.

The roasted vegetables are pulled out of the oven, tossed in fresh herbs, and Served alongside the sliced lamb. She pours the remaining juices over the platter, miscellaneously selecting one of each Ingredient now Served.

She sits and eats of her small Meal. I quietly Observe. When she is Finished, she Smiles, Places a lid over the hot plate, and Speaks.

"Shall I Send for an Escort, your Grace?"

"That will not be Necessary." I Say, lifting the platter. I dip my head slightly, exiting the Kitchen.

Silently I carry the tray back to The East Wing and Enter my Private Quarters. The bedroom is empty. I set the tray down upon the bed and walk over to the table where the previous platter still lay. I gathered the tray and set it near the door as a Reminder for my Self to take to The Drawing Room when I leave.

I move the fresh food from the bed to the table, where I sit and wait. The fire is dim, but still warm. "Xavier must be Refreshing him Self." I Silently Think.

After quite some Time, Xavier still has not Entered the room. I Rise, walking over to the Washing Room door. I knock Gently. "Xavier?" I Say aloud. There is no Answer. I knock again, this Time a little louder. "Xavier, I have Brought you a Meal." I Say firmly. Again, I am met with Silence.

My HEART frantically Begins beating in my chest, a lump Rising in my throat. I reach for the handle. The door eases gently open. Taking a Deep Breath, I Enter and step into another empty room.

Emotions wreck havoc on My HEART, as I Feel what little I have Been able to put back together crumble apart. Tears threaten my eyes. I blink them back, returning to the bedroom. "Calm your Self, Será." I Say inwardly.

I glance around the room, a folded piece of parchment catches my eye. Walking over to the bedside table, I shakily reach out and smooth it open. Quietly, I Read the hand-written Letter to my Self..

'MY QUEEN,

Thank you for YOUR Gracious Hospitality. It was MY Pleasure to have YOU. Behave. FIRE has a Way of Laying Claim.

I AM YOURS, AND YOU ARE MINE. - X'

I sat upon the bed, rereading the Letter several Times. Behave? My Mind reeled at the maddening Arrogance. A storm within Begins to Rise. I want to scream, but I withhold. Tears of Anger fill my eyes, frustration and Deepset Emotion taking hold of My HEART, My Mind. My entire Understanding of LOVE and Humanity collapses around me, destroying everything inside. Rage and Fury fills the void.

How could HE?! How could HE just leave? I lay down and cry. Sobs wrack my body beyond anything I could ever have Imagined. I Do not Understand what is happening. A Feeling of abandonment washes over me. I am lost, helpless, burning in these hellfires.. Tears stream down my face uncontrollably. What is happening to me? I am destroyed, Logically Attempting to regain control over the Situation I have Allowed my Self to fall in.

"Será." I Hear a Still Voice inside. "Rise."

My body weakly pulls itself off of the bed. "Dry your eyes." I Follow these Internal Orders, walking over to the Mirror. I See My Reflection. I am a disaster.

"Pull your Self together, QUEEN." I Say to My Self. "You Must not Allow Others to See YOU weak." I Wipe My eyes and feebly Create the Illusion that I am Well. I am not. I am broken inside, but I Must Carry on.

I fall to My knees in PRAYER. After Several Moments of quiet desperation, I finally Rise.

"Eat." I Hear my Self Say. I Walk over to the table where the food has been laid, take a seat and eat in Silence.

When I am Finished, I Gather both trays and leave the Fond Memories behind. I set both platters in The East Drawing Room, steel my Self once again and exit the room one last Time. I turn back Toward My Private Quarters wondering how this Affair could have taken such a dreadful dive.

I blink back the tears pricking the corners of my eyes, turn My HEART away from the man I hardly Knew, and Remind my Self that I Must Prevail despite the hardships of this Life. I Correct My Posture and head back to The West Wing.

I AM THE QUEEN MOTHER. IT IS TIME.