99 Problems

Impala highway, Nighttime Sam says "Drive faster, Dean." Dean says "I can't! Are you okay?" Sam says "Yeah, I'm amazing." Sarah asks "You ever seen that many?" Sam says "No. No way, not in one place." Dean says "What the hell?" Sarah says "Damn it!" Rob says "Enochian exorcism." Dean says "Well that's something you don't see every day." Rob asks "You three alright?" Dean says "Peachy." Rob says "Be careful. It's...dangerous around here." Dean says "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait." Rob says "No need to thank us." Sarah says "No, hold up a sec! Who are you?" Rob says "We're the Sacrament Lutheran Militia." Dean says "I'm sorry—the what?" Rob says "I hate to tell you this, but those were demons and this is the Apocalypse. So...buckle up."

Road Nighttime, Sam says "Looks like we're in the same line of business." Dean says "And among colleagues. That's a police-issued shotgun. That truck is, uh...inspired. Where'd you guys pick up all this crap?" Paul says to the three of them "You know you pick things up along the way." Dean says "Guys, come on. This whole corner of the state is nuts with demon omens. We just want to help. That's all." Sarah says "We're on the same team here. Just talk to us." Rob says "Follow us." Church, Jane says "Dylan, it's a church. Headphones off." Dylan says "Yes, Mom." Pastor Gideon Who would have thought the Apocalypse could be so romantic? Marriage, family—it's a blessing. Especially in times like this. So hold on to that." Sam says "Wedding?" Sam scoffs "Seriously?" Paul says "Yeah. We've had eight so far this week."

Outside of the Church, Crowd says "Congratulations! Yay!" Pastor Gideon says "So Rob tells me you boys and girl hunt demons "Uh...yes sir." Pastor Gideon says "You missed a few." Sarah says "Yeah, Tell us about it. Any idea why they're here?" Pastor Gideon shakes his head, "They sure seem to like us, though. Follow me, gentlemen and Lady." Inside the Church, Dean says "So you're a preacher?" Pastor Gideon says "Not what you expected, huh?" Dean says "Well, dude, you're packing." Pastor Gideon says "Strange times." Inside the Church's Basement Daytime, Dean asks "Is that a twelve-year-old packing salt rounds?" Pastor Gideon says "Everybody pitches in." Sam says "So, the whole church?"

Pastor Gideon says "The whole town." Dean says "A whole town full of hunters. I don't know whether to run screaming or buy a condo." Pastor Gideon says "Well the demons were killing us. We had to do something." Sarah asks "So why not call the National Guard?" Pastor Gideon says "We were told not to." Sam asks "By who?" Pastor Gideon doesn't answer, Dean says "Come on, Padre and you're as locked and loaded as we've ever seen and that exorcism was Enochian. Someone's telling you something." Pastor Gideon says "Look, I'm sorry, I, uh, I can't discuss it." Leah says "Dad, it's okay." Pastor Gideon says "Leah—" Leah says "It's Sarah Moore, Sam and Dean Winchester they're safe and I know all about them."

Sarah asks "You do?" Leah says "Sure. From the angels." Dean says "The angels. Awesome." Leah says "Don't worry. They can't see you here. The...marks on your ribs, right?" Sam says "So you know all about us because angels told you?" Leah says "Yes, Among other things." Dean says "Like the snappy little exorcism spell." Leah says "And they show me where the demons are going to be, before it happens. How to fight back." Pastor Gideon says "Never been wrong, Not once and she's very special." Leah says "Dad..." Dean says "And let me guess. Before you see something, you get a really bad migraine, you see flashing lights?" Leah says "How'd you know?" Sarah says "'Cause you're not the first prophet we've met."

Inside Paul's Tavern Daytime, Castiel voicemail "You have reached the voicemail box of: Castiel says "I don't understand why, why do you want me to say my name?" Castiel presses random buttons and Sam says "Cas, hey, uh, it's me. So we are in Blue Earth, Minnesota, and um, we could use a little help. I...hope you get this." Sam says "Busy night?" Paul says "I'm telling you, since The End started, it's been like one long last call. That round's on me." Sam says "Thanks." Dean asks "So, did you get a hold of Cas?" Sam says "Yeah, I left him a message. I think. So uh, what's your theory? Why all of the demon hits?" Sarah says "I don't know. Gank the girl? The prophet, maybe?" Sam shakes his head and Dean says "What?" Sam says "Just these angels are sending these people to do their dirty work." Dean says "Yeah, And?" Sarah says "And they could get ripped to shreds." Dean says "We're all gonna die, Sam and Sarah In like a month—maybe two. I mean it. This is the end of the world, but these people aren't freaking out. In fact they're running to the exit in an orderly fashion. I don't know that that's such a bad thing."

Sam says "Who says they're all gonna die? What ever happened to us saving them?" Church bells toll, people exit Dean says "Something she said?" Sam says "Paul. What's going on?" Paul says "Leah's had another vision." Sam asks "Wanna go to church?" Dean says "You know me—downright pious." Church Daytime, Pastor Gideon says "Three miles off Talmadge Road." Leah whispers to Pastor Gideon "Five miles. There are demons gathered. I...don't know how many, but a lot. Thank you, Leah. So, who's going to join me?" Rob says "Wouldn't miss it." Paul says "Someone's got to cover Rob's ass." Dean says "We're in, Padre." Pastor Gideon says "Thank you. I'd like to offer a prayer. "Our Father in Heaven--" Dean says "Yeah, not so much." Pastor Gideon says "Help us to fight in your name. We ask that you protect us from all servants of evil. Guide our hands in defeating them, and deliver us home, safely. Thank you, Amen."

In the Woods, Pastor Gideon directs the crew to battle. Inside the Demon House, Dylan speaks Enochian exorcism and so does Pastor Gideon. Inside the woods Daytime, Sam sighs "I guess that's what it's like, huh?" Dean says "What?" Sam says "Having backup." Dylan says "Dean, Sarah and Sam." Dean says "Yo." Dylan asks "Hey. So, um, is—is that—is that cool that I get a ride back with you guys?" Dean says "Hey, you've saved my ass twice already. One more time, you can drive. Get a beer? Hey, you earned it. Don't tell your mom." Dylan says "Oh, believe me—I will not." Dylan screams and Dean shouts "Dylan." Dylan is attacked by a demon and killed "No!"

Dean says "Ma'am, we're just, um, very sorry." Jane says "You know...this is your fault." Rob says "Jane. Come on." Inside the Church daytime, Pastor Gideon says "I wish I knew what to say. But I don't. I'm so sorry, Jane, Rob. There are no words. Dylan... I don't know why this happened. I don't know why any of this is happening. I got no easy answers. But what I do know is—Leah, honey?" Leah falls and has a seizure "Leah, honey? Honey? It's okay sweetie. It's okay." Leah says "Dad, it's Dylan." Pastor Gideon says "Just rest a minute, huh?" Leah says "No, listen. Dylan's coming back." Rob says "Geez." Leah says "Jane, Rob... It's going to be okay. You'll see Dylan again and when the final day comes, Judgement Day, he'll be resurrected and you'll be together again. We'll all be together with all our loved ones we've been chosen. The angels have chosen us and we will be given paradise on earth all we have to do is follow the angels' commandments."

Outside of the Church, Sam says "No drinking, no gambling, no premarital sex. Dean, they basically just outlawed ninety percent of your personality." Dean says "Yeah, well, whatever. When in Rome." Sarah asks "So, uh...you're cool with it?" Dean says "I'm not cool. I'm not, not cool. I'm just, look babes I'm not a prophet. We're not locals. It's not my call. I'll catch up with you both." Inside the Church's Office Daytime, Dean asks "This a bad time?" Leah says "In general. Now's okay." Dean says "Angel stuff really takes it out of you, huh?" Leah says "Can't complain. I know you have it worse. So...what's on your mind, Dean?" Dean sighs "Don't take this the wrong way but...are you on the level?" Leah asks "About What?" Dean says "About paradise." Leah asks "What about it?" Dean says "I want to know what the angels are telling you. Everything." Leah says "Well, uh..." Dean says "You can skip the rainbows." Leah says "There's gonna be a prize-fight. And...it's gonna get bad. But after we win—and we will—the planet gets handed over to the chosen. And...it's finally peaceful. No monsters, no disease, no death. You're just...with the people you love." Dean says "Of course, that's if you can get past the velvet rope. Must be nice—being chosen." Leah says "Well, Dean...you're chosen."

Dean says "Yeah, more like cursed." Leah says "Must be hard. Being the Vessel of Heaven and having no hope." Inside Paul's Tavern, Sarah asks "Hey. So what happened to, uh, "the Apocalypse is good for business?"" Paul says "Oh yeah, right up until Leah's angel pals banned the good stuff. Wanna help me kill some inventory?" Sam and Sarah unison says "Sure." Paul says "Don't get me wrong. I grew up here. I love this town, but uh, well, these holy rollers?" Sam says "Yeah, yeah, I uh, I noticed you're not the praying type." Paul says "Yeah, well, between the three of us, neither are half those guys. A couple of months back, they're all in here, getting wasted, banging the nanny. Now they're all Warriors of God. Cheers." Sarah says Cheers." Paul says "Look, there's sure as hell demons. And maybe there is a God. I don't know. Fine. But I'm not a hypocrite. I never prayed before and I ain't starting now. If I go to hell, I'm going honest. How 'bout you?" Sam asks "What about you two?"

Paul says "Not a true believer, I take it." Sam says "We believe yeah we do we're just Pretty sure God stopped caring a long time ago." Sarah, Sam and Paul scoffs. Inside Green Valley Motel Nighttime, Dean asks "Where have you two been?" Sam says "Drinkin'." Dean says "You rebels." Sarah says "we'd have had more, um, but it was curfew." Dean says "Right." Sam says "You hear they shut down the cell towers?" Dean says "No. That's, uh, news to me." Sarah says "Yeah. No cable, internet. Total cut off from the "corruption of the outside world."" Dean says "Huh." Sam says "Don't you get it? They're turning this place into some kind of fundamentalist compound." Dean says "No, I get it." Sam says "And all you've got's a "hmm?" What's wrong with you?" Dean says "I get it. I just don't care." Sarah says "What?" Dean says "What difference does it make?" Sam says "It makes a hell of a— At what point does this become too far for you? Stoning? Poisoned Kool-Aid? The angels are toying with these people!"

Dean says "Angel world, angel rules, man." Sarah says "And since when is that okay with you?" Dean says "Since the angels' got the only lifeboats on the Titanic. I mean, who exactly is supposed to come along and save these people? It was supposed to be us, but we can't do it." Sam says "So what? You wanna, you wanna just want to stop fighting, roll over?" Dean says "I don't know, maybe." Sam says "Don't say that." Dean asks "Why not?" Sam says "Cause you can't do this." Dean says "Actually, I can." Sarah says "No you can't. You can't do this to us, We got one thing, one thing, keeping us going. You think you're the only one white-knuckling it here, Dean? We can't count on anyone else and we can't do this alone." Dean says "I got to clear my head." Sam says "It's past curfew. It's past curfew."

Inside Church, Nighttime Elise asks "Leah, what's wrong?" Leah says "Daddy, can I talk to you for a second?" Pastor Gideon says "Of course, Leah, honey, w-what is it?" Leah says "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. They're just so angry." Pastor Gideon asks "Who's angry?" Leah says "The angels." Pastor Gideon asks "Why are they angry?" Leah says "They said... They said that we can't go to paradise." Jane says "What? But we're doing everything they say!" Leah says "They said they gave clear commandments, but some people aren't listening." Rob says "Who, Leah?"

Inside Motel Room Nighttime, Castiel says "I got your message. It was long, your message and I find the sound of your voice grating." Sam asks "What's wrong with you? Are you...drunk?" Castiel says "No!...Yes." Sam asks Castiel "What the hell happened to you?" Castiel says "I found a liquor store." Sam says "And?" Castiel says "And I drank it. Why'd you call me?" Sarah says "Whoa. There you go. Easy. Are you okay?" Castiel says "Don't ask stupid questions. Tell me what you need." Sam says "T-there have been these—these demon attacks. Massive, right on the edge of town and we can't figure out why they're----." Castiel asks "Any sign of angels?" Sarah says "Sort of. They've been speaking to this prophet." Castiel asks "Who?" Sam says "This girl, Leah Gideon."

Castiel says "She's not a prophet." Sam says "I'm pretty sure she is. Visions, headaches—the whole package." Castiel says "The names of all the prophets, they're seared into my brain. Leah Gideon is not one of them." Sarah asks "Then what is she?" Strip Mall Nighttime, Dean is walking and hears loud voices and smashing glass, Inside Paul's Tavern, Pastor Gideon says "Please, guys, guys, guys!" Paul says "I'm not going to tell you again!" Pastor Gideon says "Take a breath, both of you!" Paul says "You come onto my property, spouting some kind of crazy—" Rob says "Sorry, Paul. There's no other way!" Paul says "Come on! What country is this, huh?" Dean says "Need a hand, Padre?" Pastor Gideon says "Just, everybody cool down for a minute!"

Paul says ""Cool down," hmm? My friends are trying to run me out of town. Do you think I should cool down?" Rob says "I'm sorry, Paul. It is not our choice." Paul says "Oh, come on. That's bull." Rob says "You've got to go—for everyone's sake!" Paul says "We grew up together. I stood up at your wedding!" Jane says "Yes, you did. But that was then and now you're standing against the flock." Paul says "That's not true. I fight with you." Jane says "This is a town of believers, Paul. You are not a believer." Rob says "Don't make this hard for us." Paul says "Hard for you? No. This is my home. You want me out of here? You'll have to drag me out." Dean says "Whoa, whoa, whoa, you don't want to do this." Rob says "Get out of my—" Pastor Gideon says "No, no, no." Jane says "No one's gonna stop me from seeing my son again."

Inside the Motel, Sam says "We went out looking for—You alright?" Dean says "Yeah. It's—it's not my blood. Paul's dead." Sarah says "What?!" Dean says "Jane shot him." Castiel says "It's starting." Dean asks "What's starting? Where the hell have you been?" Castiel says "On a bender." Dean says "Did he—did you say "on a bender?"" Sam says "Yeah. He's still pretty smashed." Castiel says "It is not of import. We need to talk about what's happening here." Dean says "Well I'm all ears." Sarah says "Well, for starters...Leah is not a real prophet." Dean asks "Well, what is she, exactly?" Castiel says "The whore." Dean says "Wow. Cas, tell us what you really think." Castiel says "She rises when Lucifer walks the earth. "And she shall come, bearing false prophecy." This creature has the power to take a human's form, read minds. Book of Revelation calls her "the Whore of Babylon." Dean says "Well, that's catchy." Sam says "The real Leah was probably killed months ago."

Dean asks "What about the demons attacking the town?" Castiel says "They're under her control." Dean asks "And the Enochian exorcism?" Castiel says "Fake. It actually means, "you, um, breed with the mouth of a goat." It's funnier in Enochian." Sarah says "So the demons smoking out—that's just a con? Why? What's the endgame?" Castiel says "What you just saw—innocent blood spilled in God's name." Sam says "You heard all that heaven talk. She manipulates people." Dean says "To slaughter and kill and sing preppy little hymns. Awesome." Castiel says "Her goal is to condemn as many souls to hell as possible and it's ...just beginning. She's well on her way to dragging this whole town into the pit." Dean says "Alright. So, then, how do we go Pimp of Babylon all over this bitch?"

Inside the Church Basement Daytime, Jane says "I only wanted to...Did I make it worse? Did I make the angels angry?" Leah says "Jane. The angels—they understand." Jane says "They do?" Leah says "What you did was for the greater good." Jane says "Yes. Yes." Leah says "We all liked Paul. But he was a sinner, and he would have taken us down with him. You saved us." Jane says "Thank You." Pastor Gideon asks "How can that be okay? She killed him. That sin is so much greater—" Leah says "It's not a sin to strike down evil." Pastor Gideon says "But how can the angels—" Leah says "You always taught me we have to have faith."

Inside the Motel nighttime, Castiel puts down a wooden stake on the table in front of Sarah, Sam and Dean "The whore can be killed with that. It's a stake made from a cypress tree in Babylon." Dean says "Great. Let's ventilate her." Castiel says "It's not that easy." Sarah says "'Course not." Castiel says "The whore can only be killed by a true Servant of Heaven." Dean says "Servant, like..." Castiel says "Not you. Or me. Sam, of course, is an abomination. We'll have to find someone else."

Inside the Church Nighttime, Leah says "The angels...I don't know why they've chosen us. But they have. And today...Today, they told me the most important thing yet. Tonight, at midnight...I'm sorry. It's just that we knew this day would come, and it's here—the final judgement. Now, we need to do this right. We don't have much time. They angels said we're not ready. There are still a few elements that need to be taken care of. Sinners." Crowd murmurs and looks around at each other, Pastor Gideon to the crowd "Now, uh, now, everybody calm down. Just hold on." To Leah "Leah, you're scaring these people." Leah says "Now, I don't want us to panic, but we have to hurry." Pastor Gideon still to Leah says "Stop it." Leah says "I've been given instructions, names." Pastor Gideon to Leah "Wait. Let's go. What are you doing? Stop it! You're going to get somebody killed." Leah says "Let me go. Or the next sinner I name will be you."

Church Parking Lot, Castiel says "Pastor David Gideon." Pastor Gideon says "Yeah. Who are you?" Castiel says "I'm an angel of the Lord." Pastor Gideon says "Yeah, sure." Inside the Motel room, Pastor Gideon says "What the hell was that?" Dean says "Yeah, he wasn't lying about the angel thing. Have a seat, Padre. We got to have a chat." Pastor Gideon looks at the cypress stake and shakes his head "No. She's my daughter." Sarah says "I'm sorry, but she's not. She's the thing that killed your daughter." Pastor Gideon says "That's impossible." Sam says "But it's true and deep down, you know it. Look, we get it—it's too much. But if you don't do this, she's going to kill a lot of people and damn the rest to hell." Dean picks up the stake and holds it out to Pastor Gideon.

Pastor Gideon says "It's just...Why does it have to be me?" Castiel says "You're a Servant of Heaven." Pastor Gideon says "And you're an angel." Castiel says "Poor example of one." Outside of the Motel, Dean closes the trunk of the Impala, walks around the driver's side, and reaches in an open window. He grabs a bottle of aspirin "Heads up." Dean tosses the bottle to Castiel "How many should I take?" Dean says "You? You should probably just down the whole bottle." Castiel says "Thanks." Dean says "Yeah, don't mention it. Yeah, I've been there. I'm a big expert on deadbeat dads. So...Yeah, I get it. I know how you feel." Castiel asks "How do you manage it?" Dean says "On a good day, you get to kill a whore."

Inside the Church Basement nighttime, Elise says "Rob, Jane, please! Come on, it's me! It's Elise!" Jane says "Sorry. Really. But you know we have to do this." Leah says "We're putting them in the storage unit." Elise says "No! No!" Crowd shouts and pushes, trying to get out "Jane, is that everyone?" Jane says "Yeah." Leah says "Okay, then. Get the kerosene." Jane says "There are kids in there." Leah says "The angels named them for a reason. Jane...Your son needs you to do this." Inside the Church Office, Leah looks into a mirror in the wardrobe and shows her true face Castiel grabs Leah and holds her for Pastor Gideon, "Daddy! Don't hurt me!" Sam says "Gideon, now!" Leah chants in Enochian, putting a spell on Castiel "Pizin noco iad." Castiel says "Aah."Leah uses a form of telekinesis to push away Pastor Gideon, Sam, Sarah and Dean She runs off while they get up "Gideon! Wait! No!" Castiel is left groaning on the ground.

Inside the Church's Basement, Leah says "Help me! He's a demon!" Crowd fights Pastor Gideon as he comes in, causing him to lose the cypress stake "Light the kerosene." Dean says "Come on, come on!" The sinners locked in the storage room beg to be let out Sam tackles Rob before he can light the kerosene, and then throws the lighter across the room, Leah knocks Dean down with her telekinesis he reaches for the cypress stake "Please. Like you're a servant of Heaven." Jane says "Let me go!" Leah says "This is why my team's gonna win. You're the great vessel? You're pathetic, self-hating, and faithless. It's the end of the world. And you're just gonna sit back and watch it happen." Dean grabs the stake, punches Leah and stakes her "Don't be so sure, whore." Leah's body shakes and the stake catches on fire. It explodes, leaving a burning hole where it entered her body "But...I don't understand. How are we supposed to get to paradise now?" Dean says "I'm sorry. Pretty sure you're headed in a different direction." Pastor Gideon attempts to stand Sarah grabs him and helps him up "Gotcha." Dean says "Come on."

On the Basement stairs, Dean, Sarah, Sam, Pastor Gideon and Castiel and are helping them walk up the stairs Sam asks "Dean, how did you do that?" Dean asks "What?" Sam says "Kill her?" Dean says "Long run of luck held out, I guess." Sarah says "Last I checked, she could only be ganked by a servant of Heaven." Dean says "Well, what do you want me to tell you? I saw a shot. I went for it." Sarah, Sam and Dean get Pastor Gideon and Castiel into the backseat of the Impala and Dean says "Alright. Here we go." Sam says "Watch your head, now." Sarah asks "Are you gonna do something stupid?" Dean says "Like What?" Sam says "Like Michael stupid." Dean says "Come on, Sarah and Sam Give me a break."

Inside the Motel nighttime, Dean asks "How's the head?" Pastor Gideon says "I'm seeing double. But that may be the painkillers." Dean says "You'll be okay." Pastor Gideon says "No." Sam asks "Where you going?" Dean says "I'm just gonna grab some clean bandages out of the trunk. Relax." Sam says "There. How's that?" Dean starts the Impala and revs the engine both Sam and Sarah runs out after him while Dean speeds away, Sarah says "Damn it! Dean! DEAN!"