Hammer of the Gods

Inside the Elysian Fields Hotel Lobby nighttime, Sarah, Sam and Dean enter the lobby, soaked and gasping. Lounge music plays "Whew. Nice digs, for once. Busy night." Front Desk attendant Chad says "Any port in a storm, I guess. If you could just fill this out, please." Dean says "Yeah." Chad says "Sir, I think... Shaving nick there. Hands Dean a tissue " Your key." Dean says "Oh. Thanks. Hey, you wouldn't happen to have a coffee shop, would you?" Chad says "Buffet. All you can eat. Best pie in the tri-state area." Dean says "You don't say so?" Inside the Buffet Hall, Man says "Heaven, right?" Dean scoffs "Trust me, pal... better."Sarah says "We should hit the road, Dean." Dean says "In this storm? I-it's--" Sam says "It's biblical. Exactly. I-it's friggin' Noah's ark out there, and we're eating pie." Dean asks "How many hours of sleep did you both get this week? What? Three? Four? Bobby's got his feelers out, okay? We have talked with every hoodoo man and root woman in 12 states." Sarah says "Yeah, well, me and Sam not giving up." Dean says " Nobody's giving up. Especially me. We're gonna find a way to beat the devil, okay? Soon. I can feel it and we will find Cas, we'll find Adam. But you are no good to me burnt out." Sam says "Yeah. Yeah, okay." Dean says "Come on, we've actually got the night off for once. Let's try to enjoy it."

Inside the Elysian Fields Hotel Hallway, A couple is making out in front of their room and Dean points and smiles, Sam asks "Oh, what are you, 12?" Dean scoffs "I'm young at heart. Wow, We're like Rockefellers. Chocolates! You want yours?" Sarah and Sam in unison says "Knock yourself out." Dean says "Whoa. "Casa Erotica 13" on demand." Sam and Sarah scoffs "What?" Sam says "Isn't this place... in the middle of nowhere?" Dean says "So?" Sarah says "So what's a four-star hotel doing on a no-star highway?" A woman moans pleasurably on the other side of the wall. We can hear bed thumping, chuckling, then a loud thud which accompanies the brick wall of the room being smashed in from the other side, almost knocking the LCD flat screen television off the wall.

Inside the Honeymoon Suite, The Winchester brothers and Sarah open the door to the room to find it empty. Dean finds a large engagement ring on the floor "Hello?" Sam says "Hello?" Sarah says "Hello? Anyone here?" Inside the Hotel Lobby Nighttime, Dean asks "The, uh, the room next to ours -- t-the couple that are, uh, joined at the lips -- have you seen them?" Chad says "Mr. and Mrs. Logan -- the honeymooners? They checked out. Is something the matter?" Sarah says "They checked out?" Chad says "Mm-hmm. Mm, just now." Sam says "Really? It sort of seemed like they were, uh... chuckles "...in the middle of something." Dean says "Yeah, it's kind of weird for honeymooners to, uh, check out without this." He holds up the engagement ring, Chad says "Oh, dear. I'll just put that right in the lost and found. Don't you worry. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

Dean says "Uh, no. No, we're good." Chad says "Super-fantastic." Sarah says "Creepy." Dean says "Broke the needle. All right, well, I'll scope out the joint, and you keep an eye on Norman Bates over here. I mean, one night off. Is that too much to ask?" Sam follows Chad as he leaves the front desk, but loses sight of him near the vending machines and there's a slicing sound and Sam reaches for his neck, where a fresh cut has appeared. Dean exits the elevator, and pulls out an EMF detector. Dean passes a room with its door open and we can see an elephant holding a towel, Dean takes a few steps back to look again, and sees Man wrapping a towel around his torso "This ain't no peep show, man!"

Inside the Business suite of the Hotel Nighttime, Baldur says "You're beautiful." Kali says "You're sweet, I hate sweet." Chad clears his throat "Sorry to interrupt. The last guest just arrived" Baldur asks "So everything's ready?" Chad says "As it will ever be. Pantry's full." Baldur asks "And the Winchesters and Moore?" Chad says "Suspicious, but under control." Kali asks "You have their blood?" Chad says "Of course I do. I'm quick the three of them never even knew what hit them." Kali says "Thank you, Mercury." Baldur says "Let's get this show on the road."

Inside the Hotel Lobby, Lounge music continues to play as Sarah, Sam and Dean enter. The room is completely empty, Sam says "An Elephant?" Dean simply says "Yeah." Sarah says "Like, an elephant?" Dean says "Like, full-on Babar." Sam asks "So what the hell is... Where is everybody?" Sarah attempts to open the lobby doors, but they do not budge "Let me guess -- it's locked. So what -- the roaches check in, they don't check out?" Sarah says "Think about how we got here. That detour on I-90? The friggin' hurricane?" Dean says "You saying we were led here?" Sam says "Like rats in a maze." In the Hotel Kitchen, Dean Liquid bubbling in pot " Please be tomato soup. Please be tomato soup. Dean lifts ladle to reveal eyeballs and It is not tomato soup "Motel hell." Sam sees the locked freezer and walks slowly towards it. Inside he sees the rest of the hotel guests "Help us! Get us out!" Sam reaches into his pocket and removes his lock picking tool kit Dean says "Hurry up!" Sam says "I'm going as fast as I... as I can." Sarah says "There's somebody behind me, isn't there?" Sarah, Sam and Dean are dragged into the Grand Ballroom by two men, Dean both grunting says " Something tells me this isn't a Shriner convention." Mercury says "Dinner is served." Applause, Baldur says "Ladies and Gentleman, our guests of honor have arrived."

Ballroom Nighttime, Baldur clinks a fork to his champagne flute "Ladies and gentleman, thank you for coming. Although in all my centuries, I never thought I'd see this. This many gods under one roof.--" Sam to Dean and Sarah "Gods?" Baldur says "--Now, before we get down to brass tacks, some ground rules. No slaughtering each other. Curb your wrath. Oh, and uh, keep your hands off the local virgins. We're, trying to keep a low profile here.--" Sam to Dean and Sarah "Oh, we are so... so screwed." Baldur says "--Now we all know why we're here. The Judeo-Christian apocalypse looms over us. I know we've all had our little disagreements in the past. The time has come to put those aside and look toward the future. Because if we don't, we won't have one. Now we do have two very valuable bargaining chips. Michael, and Lucifer's vessels. The question is, what do we do now? Anybody have any bright ideas? Speak up. This is a safe room." Zao shen speaks in a foreign language "What do we do? We kill them!"

Ganesh laughs " Kill 'em? What, so the angels can bring the back again?" Odin says "I don't know what everybody's getting so worked up about! 'Cause it's just a couple of angels having a slap fight! There's no Armageddon. Everybody knows, when the world comes to an end, the Great Serpent Jormungandr rises up, and I myself will be eaten by a big wolf!" Laughs Zao Shen sighs, speaking in a foreign language "Here we go..." Odin says "Oh yeah? And why is that? Because your beliefs are so much more realistic? The whole world's getting carried around on the back of a giant turtle? Ha! Give me a break!" Zao Shen speaking in a foreign language "Don't mock my world turtle."

Odin asks "What are you gonna do about it?" Zao Shen speaking in a foreign language "I'm gonna send you packing to Valhalla!" Odin says "You watch your mouth when you talk to me, boy!" Zao Shen speaking in a foreign language "Boy? I'm older than you." Odin says "No one's ever proved that." As Odin and Zao Shen argue Sarah, Sam and Dean slowly and quietly move from their seats and attempt to exit the room without being noticed. As they near the door, a chandelier falls in front of them with a loud crash, Kali says "Stay. We have to fight. The archangels -- the only thing they understand is violence. This ends in blood. There is no other way, it's them, or us." Mercury says "With all due respect, ma'am, we haven't even tried talking to them." Mercury begins to choke up blood Baldur stops Kali from killing Mercury outright.

Baldur says "Kali!" Kali says "Who asked you?" The doors to the Grand Ballroom open to reveal Gabriel, who is not wearing a name tag, like the others are "Can't we all just get along!" Dean attempts to say "Gabriel" but is cut off by him, choking on the word "Sarah! Sam! Dean...It's always wrong place, worst time with you muttonheads, huh?" Baldur says "Loki." Gabriel/Loki says "Baldur. Good seeing you too. I guess my invitation got lost in the mail." Baldur asks "Why are you here?" Gabriel/Loki says "To talk about the elephant in the room. Ganesh begins to stand, indignant "Not you. The Apocalypse. We can't stop it, gang. But first things first." Gabriel turns to the three of them, "he adults need to have a little conversation. Check you later. Gabriel snaps his fingers and Sarah, Sam and Dean appear in their room.

Inside the Hotel Room, Dean says "O.K. Did that -- Holy crap!" Sam says "Yeah, tell me about it. By the way, next time I say let's keep driving, uh, let's keep driving." Dean says "O.K. Yeah. Next time." Sarah says "Alright, so what's our next move?" Dean says "I-I-I... I don't know. Grab those poor saps outta the freezer, I guess? Bust 'em out? Gank a few freaks along the way if we're lucky?" Gabriel asks "And when are you ever lucky?" Dean says "Well you know what, bite me, Gabriel." Gabriel says "Maybe later, big boy." Dean says "I should've known. I mean this had your stink all over it from the jump."

Gabriel asks "You think I'm behind this? Please. I'm the Costner to your Houston. I'm here to save your ass." Dean says "You wanna pull us outta the fire?" Gabriel says "Bingo! Those guys are either gonna dust you, or use you as bait. Either way, you're uber boned." Dean says "Wow, 'cause a couple of months ago you were telling us that we need to "play our roles". You're uber boning us!" Gabriel says "Ohh... The end is still nigh. Michael and Lucifer are gonna dance the lambada, but not tonight. Not here." Dean says "And why do you care?" Gabriel says "I don't care. But, me and Kali we, uh, had a thing. Chick was all hands. What can I say? I'm sentimental." Sam asks "Do they have a chance? Against Satan?" Dean says "Really, Sam?" Sam says "You got a better idea, Dean?"

Gabriel says "It's a bad idea. Lucifer's gonna turn them into finger paint. So let's get going while the going's good, hmm?" Dean says "O.K. Great, why don't you just zap us outta here then?" Gabriel says "Would if I could, but Kali's got you by the short and curlies, It's a blood spell you boys and Sarah are on a leash." Dean asks "What does that mean?" Gabriel says "It means it's time for a bit of the old black magic." Gabriel spritzes his mouth with breath spray "Okay, yeah. Well, whatever. Well, we're gonna take the hors d'oeuvres in the freezer with us." Gabriel says "Forget it. It's gonna be hard enough sneaking you mooks outta here."

Sarah says "They called you Loki, right? Which means they don't really know who you are?" Gabriel says "Told you. I'm in witness protection." Dean says "O.K., well then how about you do what we say, or we tell the, uh, legion of doom about your secret identity. They don't seem like a real pro-angel kinda crowd." Gabriel says "I'll take your voices away." Dean says "We'll write it down." Gabriel says "I'll cut off your hands." Dean says "Well then, people are gonna be asking, "Why are you guys running around with no hands?"" Gabriel says "Fine."

Inside Kali's Hotel Room, Kali is undressing in her room when the lights go out. The candles on her table light up as we see Gabriel/Loki standing next to them, looking seductive with a rose in his hands "Bonjour, mon amour." Kali says "Leave." Gabriel/Loki says "You always did play hard to get." Kali says "I've moved on." Gabriel/Loki says "I noticed. Baldur? Really?" Kali says "Baldur's uncomplicated." Inside the Hotel Lounge, Sarah, Sam and Dean enter the lobby/lounge area as a man is heard screaming from the far side employee entrance. The brothers and Sarah quickly move out of sight as the two men drag one of the freezer occupants out into the lobby Man says "No! N-No! No! Please! Gah!" screaming continues until Man's neck is chopped with a cleaver.

Sam whispering to both Sarah and Dean "It's too late." Back inside Kali's room, Kali says "I never took you for the type." Gabriel/Loki says "Romantic?" Kali says "Pathetic." Gabriel/Loki says "You're the one who called me here." Kali says "Because I thought you might take this seriously." Gabriel/Loki says "I'm taking this seriously. Ship's sinking, time to get off. I mean screw this marble and let's go check out Pandora." Kali says "It doesn't have to be like that." Gabriel/Loki says "I'm afraid it does." Kali says "If we fight--" Gabriel/Loki says "You die." Kali says "And what makes you such an expert?" Gabriel/Loki says "I've tussled with those winged ass-monkeys once or twice. Kali, no more tricks. I'm begging you, don't do this." Kali says "I have to." Gabriel/Loki says "Can't blame me for trying. Still love me?" Kali says "No." Kali pulls Gabriel/Loki in for a passionate kiss.

Inside the Hotel Kitchen, Dean struggles to move after landing on top of a metal shelving unit. The light clink of glass against glass is heard as Gabriel/Loki's fingertips touch the three vials of blood on the desk, Zao Shen is still holding Sam and Sarah up against the freezer door, now using force to choke them. Inside Kali's Room Nighttime, Gabriel/Loki fingertips hit the vials again, making a louder clinking noise. This time Kali pushes him back off of her, while cutting him on the chin, drawing blood "Ow!" Zao Shen is stabbed with a wooden stake by Dean and he releases both Sam and Sarah as he dies "Where the hell is Gabriel?"

Kali says "You must take me for a fool... Gabriel. You're bound to me. Now, and forever." Inside Ghostfacers Command/Garage Nighttime, Static blurs the screen. The Ghostfacers appear, first in their lounge chairs, then in split screen they theme songs plays, Ambyr says "--the intern position open?" Harry says "You're hired." Ambyr gasps "Really?" Ed says "You see my face?" Ambyr says "Yeah." Ed says "And it's in your little box?" Ambyr says "Yeah." Ed says "O.K., my face has gotta be right in your box." Harry says "If you're dead, you better stay dead." Ed says "Yep." Harry says "Cause if not, we're gonna kill you."

In the Grand Hall, Sarah, Sam and Dean are once again thrown into the ballroom "How long have you known?" Kali says "Long enough." Dean asks "How's the rescue going?" Kali says "Well, surprise, surprise and the Trickster has tricked us." Gabriel says "Kali, don't." Kali says "You're mine now and you have something I want." Kali reaches into Gabriel's jacket and removes his angel blade "An Archangel's blade. From the Archangel, Gabriel." Gabriel says "Okay, okay! So I got wings, like Kotex. But that doesn't make me any less right about Lucifer." Kali says "He's lying. He's a spy." Gabriel says "I'm not a spy. I'm a runaway. I'm trying to save you. I know my brother, Kali. He should scare the living crap out of you. You can't beat him. I've skipped ahead, seen how this story ends--" Kali interrupts and says "Your story. Not ours. Westerners, I swear. The sheer arrogance. You think you're the only ones on earth? You pillage and you butcher in your God's name. But you're not the only religion, and he's not the only God and now you think you can just rip the planet apart? You're wrong,There are billions of us an we were here first. If anyone gets to end this world, it's me and I'm sorry." Kali stabs Gabriel with his own blade and Gabriel screams, and in a flash of light, dies.

Mercury says "This is crazy." Kali says "They can die and we can kill Lucifer." Dean says "All right you primitive screwheads, listen up." Sarah says "Are you outta your mind?" Dean says "I'm outta options now on any other given day, I'd be doing my damndest to, uh, kill you. You filthy murdering chimps but uh, hey, desperate times so even though I'd love nothing better than to slit your throats, you dicks, I'm gonna help you and I'm going to help you ice the devil and then we can all get back to ganking each other, like normal. You want Lucifer, well, dude's not in the Yellow Pages. But me, Sarah and Sam, we can get him here." Kali asks "How?" Dean says "First you let those main courses go and then we talk. We can either take on the devil together, or you lame-ass bitches can eat me Literally."

Parking Lot Of the Elysian Fields Hotel Nighttime, Dean says "Come on everybody! Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. Alright, alright, go, go, go! Get outta here!" Gabriel sitting in the Impala with the window rolled down "Psst! Dean! Don't look at me! Act natural. Get in." Dean says "Man, there is nothing natural about this at all. I thought you were dead." Gabriel says "You think I'd give Kali my real sword? That thing can kill me!" Dean asks "Then what do they have in there?" Gabriel says "A fake! Made it out of a can of diet orange Slice. So, uh, go snag our blood, would ya?" Dean says "What?" Gabriel says "I heard you in there. Kali likes you. You can get close. Lift the plasma, then we vamoose." Dean says "No. Hand over the real blade. Better yet, why don't you sack up and help us take down Lucifer." Gabriel says "You can't be serious?"

Dean says "Deadly." Gabriel says "Since when are you butt buddies with a bunch of monsters? That's all they are to you, aren't they?" Dean says "Alright, you know, Sam and Sarah was right. It's nuts, but it's the best idea I've heard, so unless you have a better one?" Gabriel says "Well, good luck with that. Me? I'm blowing Jonestown. Those lemmings wanna run off a cliff, that's their business." Dean says "I see right through you, you know that? The smart-ass shell, the whole "I could give a crap" thing? Believe me, it takes one to know one." Gabriel says "That so?" Dean says "Yes and maybe those freaks in there aren't your blood but they are your family." Gabriel says "They just stabbed me in the friggin heart!" Dean says "Maybe, but you still give a crap about 'em, don't you?" Gabriel says "Dean." Dean says "Now they're gonna die in there, without you." Gabriel says "I can't kill my brother." Dean says "Can't or won't? That's what I thought."

Inside the Ballroom, Kali asks "So you're going to summon Lucifer." Sam says "Sort of. I just need you to squeegee some stuff from my ribs and he'll come running." Kali says "Breaking them would be easier." Dean says "Show's over. Sword's a fake, and Gabriel, he's still kicking. I hate to break it to you, sister, but you've been tricked." Inside the Hotel Lobby, A hand hits the bell Mercury turns around to greet the new guest Lucifer says "Checking in." Mercury says "Lucifer, thanks for coming." Lucifer says "Oh, you did right calling me." Mercury says "It's just... The way the talk is heading in there, it's... it's insane!" Lucifer says "You know, I never understood you pagans, always fighting, always happy to sell out your own kind. No wonder you forfeited this planet to us. You are worse than humans. You're worse than demons and yet you claim to be gods. Lucifer twists his fingers and Mercury dies as his neck snaps "And they call me prideful."

Inside the Grand Hall, The lights in the Grand Ballroom begin to flicker and Baldur says "What's happening?" Inside the Hallway, Odin creams outside the Grand Ballroom as Lucifer kills him, then explodes Ganesh in a burst of blood and chunks of flesh Lucifer then breaks Baron Samedi's arm, killing him also. Lucifer is seen in the hallway walking past a stream of corpses of gods as the lights flicker and Sam says "It's him." Kali asks "How?" Dean says "Does it matter? Shazzam us outta here, would ya?" Baldur says "We can't." Lucifer says "Of course you can't. You didn't say "mother, may I?" Sam, Dean, Sarah good to see you again." Kali says "Baldur, don't." Baldur says "You think you own the planet? What gives you the right? Baldur confronts Lucifer who stabs Baldur , ripping him apart from the inside with his bare hand, killing him "No one gives us the right, we take it." As Lucifer throws Baldur to the ground, Kali becomes enraged, engulfing her arms in fire which she throws at Lucifer causing Sarah, Sam and Dean to jump for cover behind an overturned table. The flames dissipate revealing no damage to Lucifer vessel, Lucifer hits Kali with an uppercut to the chin, sending her flying Sam to Sarah and Dean "You both okay?"

Gabriel says "Not really. Better late then never, huh? Gabriel hands Dean a copy of CASA EROTICA #13 on DVD "Guard this, with your life." Lucifer is about to stomp on Kali but is blown back through the Grand Ballroom doors. Gabriel stands , blade in hand "Lucy, I'm home. Not this time. picking up Kali "Guys! Get her outta here." Lucifer says "Over a girl. Gabriel, really? I mean I knew you were slumming, but I hope you didn't catch anything." Gabriel says "Lucifer, you're my brother and I love you. But you are a great big bag of dicks." Lucifer says "Wait, what did you just say to me?" Gabriel says "Look at yourself! Boo hoo! Daddy was mean to me, so I'm gonna smash up all his toys." Lucifer says to Gabriel "Watch your tone."

Gabriel says "Play the victim all you want. But you and me? We know the truth. Dad loved you best. More than Michael, more than me. Then he brought the new baby home and you couldn't handle it. So this is all just one big temper tantrum. Time to grow up." Inside Hotel Parking Lot nighttime, Kali says "I'm not getting in that thing." Dean says "Just get in the car, princess." Sam opens the door for Kali, then gets in the front passenger seat. Dean opens the back passenger door and Sarah gets in and he gets into the Driver's seat and the four of them drive off.

Lucifer says "Gabriel, if you're doing this for Michael..." Gabriel says "Screw him. If he were standing here, I'd shiv his ass too." Lucifer says "You disloyal--" Gabriel says "Oh, I'm loyal. To them!" Lucifer says "Who? These so called gods?" Gabriel says "To people, Lucifer. People" Lucifer says "So you're willing to die, for a pile of cockroaches. Why?" Gabriel says "Because Dad was right. They are better than us." Lucifer says "They are broken. Flawed! Abortions." Gabriel says "Damn right they're flawed. But a lot of them try. To do better, to forgive. And you should see the Spearmint Rhino! I've been riding the pine a long time. But I'm in the game now, and I'm not on your side, or Michael's. I'm on theirs." Lucifer says "Brother, don't make me do this." Gabriel says "No one makes us do anything." Lucifer says "I know you think you're doing the right thing, Gabriel. But I know where your heart truly lies." Over Lucifer's shoulder there is a second Gabriel , coming up behind him. As he lunges forward, Lucifer catches his arm and stabs Gabriel own blade into his chest "Here. Amateur hocus pocus. Don't forget, you learned all your tricks from me, little brother." Lucifer jerks the blade in Gabriel's chest. In a burst of light, Gabriel dies.